@happedancing

run like a girl

November 13, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

When I was a kid, I used to get upset when my childhood friends (mostly boys) said I ran like a girl or threw like a girl or really reminded me that I was a girl at all. I was vastly outnumbered in my neighborhood, and while the boys were nice to let me hang once in a while, there were times when I really wished I had more girls around. Luckily in these times, I had my bestie Crystal to commiserate with. She has a brother and boy cousins and felt my pain of being the odd woman out. Fast forward some years later, and I’m finding myself surrounded by more powerful adventurous athletic women than I can count. They are my adventure crew, my ride or dies, my bucket list babes. We do let the boys hang once in a while, but most of the time we like to feel our power. And now, I can proudly say that hell yeah, I do run like a girl.

Speaking of running like a girl…

check out some of these fun facts (and the articles to back them up) from the past couple of years to see just how far women have come in the running game:

Women are racing more than men!
Women are better pacers than men!
In 2016, the majority of race finishers are female!
The new cheetah girls – American ladies are getting faster and faster!
It’s not all flowers and candy. Every time a woman takes to the street for a run, she puts herself at risk. Next time you see a lady out for a run, admire her bravery.

As this fall race season is in full swing, chances are high

that you know a woman who’s racing towards a goal. It may be her first 5k, it may be her 101st marathon, but either way, take a moment to give your girl a high five. It doesn’t matter what distance, which race, or if you’re racing at all, going for a run is an amazingly gratifying experience. If you want to feel YOUR power, just strike out on your two legs…see how far you can go!

namaste and safe travels,

remember when you hit the streets…#wegonshine

pause + rewind + try again

maybe it is a scary time to be a man

October 23, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

Every now and then an issue arises upon which I feel the need to offer some commentary. This most recent claim that I have seen about times being scary for men seems preposterous at first. I’ve been ruminating on it for quite some time, and I guess if you do take a moment to think about it from the (white) male perspective, maybe it is a scary time to be a man.

Now, with the #metoo movement going strong and countless individuals stepping forward

to confront the people that have raped or assaulted them; and others speaking out to identify known perpetrators in various Industries, men have quite a bit to worry about. Our very own, tangerine-tinted #45 claimed not long ago that this is a time when “you can be guilty of something you may not be guilty of.” Aside from the numerous grammatical issues with this statement, there is something larger lurking in the background. I believe what President Trump is referring to is the idea that you can be held accountable for something that you do not believe you are guilty of. The idea that the law is more powerful than our opinions of ourselves, why for someone like Trump, that is scary indeed.

To that end, anyone claiming that this is a scary time for boys is right.

Behavior that was previously dismissed as boys being boys is now realized as inappropriate, dangerous, and at times predatory behavior. It means that men have to calculate risk before approaching a situation; they have to think before they speak and act to ensure that they do not offend, endanger, or otherwise mislead the individuals with which they are interacting. I suppose it would be scary to discover that those little lewd comments, the gestures, the seemingly harmless banter with the women (or men) in your life could actually be taken the wrong way. Not only that, but that it could blow back on you. I guess it would be frightening to come to the realization that what you thought was innocent fun and flattery were actually damaging. The criticality of men not only understanding but anticipating the impact of their behavior is imperative but it is new territory. (This has been woman’s plight since the dawn of time…)

The good news in these scary times is

that some of the privileged few are immune from the perils of being held accountable. Don’t be too afraid of the future, (white) men, because if you’re the right color, and you have the right re$ources, you can overcome your accusers and still be confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States.

I’m pissed,
E

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Kari Pichora

October 16, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

This month, “How Did You Get Here” takes us to the beautiful desert of Arizona where we get acquainted with Kari Pichora, or KJ as we know her. KJ and Erica met in 2017 at Ragnar Carolinas, a relay race on the trails of South Carolina’s Ann Springs Close. KJ’s love for outdoor adventuring combined with her kind and down-to-earth spirit is captivating. She moved to Arizona earlier this summer, but we had to keep in touch with our girl! Luckily, we managed to catch up with her this week, in-between trips.

By day, KJ is an orthotist, or is it a prosthetist? Some weeks, maybe it’s both. She works with her clients to create unique orthotic and prosthetic equipment that will aid in rehabilitation and ultimately help them get back to enjoying life. When she’s not working to put people back together again, she’s working on herself. KJ is the poster-child for solo travel and she’s sharing a little of what she’s learned through exploring the world as a party of one.

Tell us about life in Arizona! Why did you want to move there?

I had the opportunity to live in Arizona for a few months in 2014 and loved it. I found the desert very calming. After my short stay I ended up in LA and found myself driving a couple of hours most weekends to the desert for adventures; the wildlife is abundant and you will never hear such stillness and quiet anywhere else. I decided to go back to Phoenix to enjoy that calm feeling, be outside every day (yes, even possible in the summer!), and have basically anything I want to do hobby/activity/exercise/eating-wise at my disposal. Most others are also out taking advantage of living here and as an early riser, it’s nice to see so many other people out before the sun. Also, the people are consistently friendly. Simply put: I feel like I fit in and belong in the desert!

What is the most rewarding thing about solo adventuring?

I always say “it’s not an adventure until things start going wrong”…and adventuring alone makes you figure it out. There are lots of lessons learned in preparedness and working through problems that can translate over into day to day life. Also, I’ve met a lot of wonderful and impactful people that I wouldn’t have met if I was with others.

What is the best adventure you have had so far?

That’s like asking me which one of my cats I like best! Any adventure that takes me to places I can’t get to by car is my favorite. One place I always find myself going back to though is Zion National Park. Every time I go there it’s like I’m seeing it for the first time. The beauty is breathtaking, the hikes are diverse, and the views are worth the work you put in. Zion is one of the places that has changed me in that it has helped me to want to do my best to be healthy so that I can do the hikes and see the views of all the places.

What motivates you to travel and adventure on your own?

It’s knowing that I can either go alone or not go at all. I started doing things on my own because people would cancel plans. I started just by doing simple things like dinner on my own. You begin to become comfortable with your own company which is an amazing thing. I then went on a cruise by myself. And then adventures like hiking mountains and camping. Being alone helps me be more mindful of my surrounds and notice things I wouldn’t with others but it also makes the times that you do get to experience something with someone that much more special.

I also like to do adventures like camping and crazy hikes because I think being uncomfortable is good for us. The world we live in has made it too easy for us to maintain comfort all the time and we begin to take it for granted, and worse, expect it. I see people literally break down because of silly things that go wrong and they have to be uncomfortable for even a short period of time. Go on a three-day camping trip with no running water and you’ll come out with an enhanced appreciation for the things we take for granted and a lot of them at the expense of the planet.

What is the most challenging part?

Learning new skills…like pitching a tent and building a fire! It’s true what they say: if it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you.

What have you learned? What advice would you give someone else who’s interested in being a solo adventurer?

I have learned that being able to find your bearings is very important! Always have a map and take a class to learn some skills (REI has some good ones). Also, trust yourself. If something feels off, whether it’s the route you’re taking or the campsite you picked, you’re probably right.

And lastly, be prepared to go with the flow because you can’t plan for everything. Once I was traveling to Sedona from LA for a half marathon. Along the way, I remembered that AZ doesn’t participate in daylight savings time. Forgetting this small detail meant I was cutting it close and may miss the race. I remembered there was also a half marathon taking place in Yuma which was a little closer. I decided on the fly to reroute. So, there I was, in Yuma (very southern, hot AZ) but dressed for Sedona (cold, especially coming from LA).

I wanted to accomplish a half marathon that day and I was going to make it happen! Otherwise, I would have gotten up at 2 AM for nothing! It was a good decision because after the race I drove to Organ Pipe National Monument to camp and explore and met one of the most special friends that I have right now. Even though you think something isn’t working out how you want, don’t focus on that. Reroute your focus, change your goals, and succeed…kind of like the average workday, right?!

How has it changed you?

It has helped me realize I’m stronger than I thought. Some of these things may have seemed beyond my capability until I was in the moment working through it. I’m not good at asking for help in my personal life but doing adventures solo has allowed me to practice that. I’ve asked strangers for lots of help over the years and not one person has denied me help and not one person expected anything in return even if I tried to give them money. A stranger has fed me, a stranger has towed my car out of a ditch, a stranger has helped me put up my tent so I have shelter, a stranger has helped me find my way either literally with directions or with life advice..and the best part is, some of those strangers are now great friends!

I also find myself not even thinking about helping or doing nice things for others when I am in the situation to do so. I think about the help I’ve been given often and it’s nice to put that back out into the world when I can.

What has surprised you the most?

The way people treat you when you’re alone. When I went on the cruise alone I got weird looks when I would go to dinner or events alone, extra special service (which I won’t lie, was nice!), and just surprised exclamations that no one would be joining me even though I would say “just me!” with a smile and hold up my book. A couple I made friends with said they thought that maybe I was going through some tragic life event like a divorce. It made me realize that a lot of people are so uncomfortable with their own company, that they need to have a reason to be seen alone. This was a while ago and I think it has changed since then which I am happy to see.

If I’m on a camping or hiking adventure a lot of people exclaim how brave I am for doing it alone and I feel like they tend to watch out for me. It has been surprising to see just how caring people actually are. I remember one couple returned my mace that fell out of my backpack at some point and I had no idea. They asked if I had mace which was really weird (thank goodness it was daytime!) and when I realized it was gone they presented it to me and said that I was the only one they’ve seen alone so they figured it was mine. It restores my faith in the world that we live in a society where people watch out and are concerned for one another 🙂

We are so glad to have caught up with KJ between adventures.

It seems like her relationship with nature helps her find and connect with humanity in the world. We LOVE and are inspired by her story and can’t wait to get outside and look for the good in the world.

How has it changed you?

What has surprised you the most?

We are so glad to have caught up with KJ between adventures.

just for fun

so many girl dates

October 4, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

An exciting thing has happened. My calendar is full of dates! Not like romantic dates, but friend dates, with my girlfriends. As I get older, it seems I have to work harder and harder to find time for friends. Life is demanding, and most of us spend the majority of our time at work, or several different “works” if you’re like me. With the time we spend not working, we have to manage a lot of crap. Not crap, life. We have to manage the entire rest of our lives when we aren’t at work. It makes me tired to even think about, but it’s exactly why I feel this excited to have so many girl dates.

First off, I call them “dates” because

I write them in my calendar…in pen. I use bullet journaling to stay organized and I notice when I’m really excited about something, I write it in PEN (and usually add a little doodle.) This is significant because it’s a sign of commitment! If I think something may get cancelled or moved, I will write in pencil. There is nothing I hate more than a scribbled-out bit of text in my notebook.

I’m noticing that dates with my girlfriends usually involve a new experience.

Sometimes this is on a small scale, like trying a new recipe, running a new trail, or tackling a workout class I’ve never been to before. Sometimes it’s on a large scale like going to see a band I’ve never heard of or traveling to a new part of the world. Hanging with my girls introduces me to so many things. (Thanks to Jessica for my love of Tempeh, Kat for introducing me to Rainbow Kitten Surprise, and of course to Amy and Heather for helping me fall in love with Lawrence, Kansas!) My girls and I crave adventure. We love to connect with one another and value the experience of learning about each other and with each other, in new situations!

Speaking of learning about each other,

it seems like spending time with “the girls” brings out our similarities. I can see a bit of myself in each of the women in my life and it encourages me to be a little stronger, a little kinder, a little more better. A good conversation with a gal pal can even help you feel more connected. Back in 2016, I went through some pretty hard times. My bestie Crystal would call me twice a week and make me tell her things I was thankful for. Some days it was hard to come up with something to be happy about, but she wouldn’t let me off the hook until I did. It was a simple gesture and may seem insignificant, but to me it was love.

Women face so many unique circumstances every day.

It can get overwhelming, especially in today’s climate where the word “feminist” is synonymous with radical extremism. When we get the girls together to share stories and try new things we see just how alike we really are. We tap our inner strength and become more resilient. We can face challenges with more gusto because we may just know someone who has been through it too.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of organizing a girl date extravaganza.

I managed to convince 15 of my adventurous gal pals to try handstands with me at a special yoga class. (Note: there was a man in attendance, but that’s not what this article is about.) Just like any host, I was concerned that everyone would have a good time, but we got along famously. It was such a joy to see my friends trying new things and having fun. I didn’t realize how important this event was to me until I saw all these beautiful strong women in the room. They were trusting me to show them a good time, and by gosh, I was going to do it! We laughed, we cried from laughing so hard, we listened to old school hip-hop, and we lived it up.

Girl dates help me realize

that no matter how tough life gets, I have amazing magical unicorn girlfriends in my life…these and other strong women like my mother, coworkers, lifelong friends etc, are helping to light my way. When we bond, we become stronger. When women connect and elevate each other, the whole world gets better.

Sharing quality time with people you care for is always a treat…

but spending time with your girlfriends is like a whole birthday cake! If you want to live your best life, you have to get a girl date on your calendar! You’ll have fun and probably learn something, cuz girls are wicked smart!

Namaste,

pause + rewind + try again

Was it good for you?

September 4, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

Feedback is a two-way street, a double-edged sword sometimes, and a sure-fire opportunity to learn something. It may not always be pleasant, and at times it can be downright painful, but the way we give and take feedback reveals much about ourselves. If you really want to grow, you have to ASK to KNOW. But first, there are a few things to consider before having the conversation, “was it good for you?”

Feedback and commentary are easily confused.

Just because someone reacts to something you have said or done, does not make it feedback. If someone offers a comment, that does not mean you have to internalize it and reinvent yourself. Feedback is special. It is an opportunity, and in some instances, the only way, to elevate a situation. Feedback, most often, is solicited by someone in hopes that they can improve something. The act of requesting feedback in itself is a show of great courage. We must appreciate any individual who values our opinions enough to ask for them.

So what separates feedback from commentary?

When do we need to pay attention and we do we let it roll off our back? The graduate school answer is that IT DEPENDS! Among other things, the most important consideration with feedback is the source. If you’re taking feedback from someone, what investment do they have in your success? Are they invested at all? If you’re giving feedback, what’s your motivation for doing so? What will you gain from the implementation of your feedback?

To be actionable feedback must be:

Objective.
Received.
Built on TRUST.

Objectivity is the key distinction between feedback and commentary.

Objective feedback is given without attachment and received without judgment. An example of objective feedback might be if you were asked to shorten a presentation to allow for questions. It seems logical that a presentation would elicit questions from a group and better to answer those in person than to follow up later. This is insightful feedback that will make the presentation better and improve the experience of the audience. In this way, objective feedback can open our eyes to an area of needed improvement and empower us. It helps us understand how some adjustments can elevate the situation and streamline potential issues. When we feel someone wants to help us be better, we are more willing to listen to what they have to say.

On the other hand, feedback can make us feel vulnerable. Whether you’re giving or receiving feedback, it can feel icky to be that honest. It can sting to hear someone tell us something we know is a little bit true, even if it’s not exactly positive. Just as it can be very uncomfortable to tell someone something that may hurt their feelings. Consider that it takes two parties to have successful feedback. The other person in the situation likely feels just as uncomfortable, but here they are. They cared enough to want to help you.

Feedback must be received to be acted upon.

Remember last week, when that jerk on the highway nearly ran you off the road, only to pass you on the right without signaling, and then gave YOU the middle finger? That is definitely a form of feedback, but it’s not likely to be received. You’re not going to chase down that motorist, apologize for upsetting them, and ask what you can do better next time, are you? Shit no! You’re going to dismiss it as commentary because you’re not invested. This person’s appraisal of your driving skills means precisely NADA to you, so you can easily let it go.

However, when one of your clients says they are moving their business elsewhere, you stop and listen. You’re invested in their feedback. You want to know what, if anything, could have been done to change the outcome or prevent it in the future. We are much more receptive to this type of feedback because it’s relevant. We believe we can learn something from it and in some cases, we are brave enough to seek it out. You know how people say food tastes better when you’re hungry? Feedback is the same way. You need to have an appetite for it…

Lastly, good feedback that helps us improve is built on trust.

When you ask someone for feedback, it is because you trust that they care enough about you to steer you in a better direction than you could go alone. When you provide feedback, you are sharing with someone you desire to help because you believe they are capable. Feedback can be a beautiful tool for building trust and fostering growth. When two or more parties trust that they are invested in one another’s greater good, they begin to see feedback as more of an opportunity to improve and less like a walk down the plank.

Sometimes we don’t give feedback. We worry it doesn’t matter, we worry that we will hurt someone’s feelings, or we don’t care enough to get involved. All of these are perfectly valid reasons, but let’s rewind a minute. A person asking for our feedback values what we have to say. It is terrifying to ask someone what they think because they may actually tell you. I’ll say it again…It is terrifying to ask someone what they think because they may actually tell you. Unfortunately, that’s part of life. I mean, they call them growing pains for a reason. Ever heard of brutal honesty? It’s a form of feedback too. If you’re asked for feedback, trust that the person requesting it wants to hear your organic authentic response. Take the leap of faith, and the experience just may surprise you.

Somewhere between compulsive commenters and the ones who clam up are the people in your tribe that have your back. If you really want to grow, you have to seek opportunities. You have to ask to know what and how you can improve. So get out there, get brave, and ask for feedback. Hopefully, now you have the tools to sift through the bullshit and glean for those glimmering nuggets of truth-gold 🙂

Namaste Y’all!
E

taking care

A Picture of Good Health

August 20, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

So we reposted a powerful image a couple of weeks ago, and judging from the number of likes, it really resonated with a lot of folks. Today, I would like to start a conversation about body positivity. I’d like to share my thoughts and experiences on the topic, beginning with some simple food for thought: What does it mean to be healthy? Can you define it in words? Can you capture it in an image? What is a picture of good health?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m pretty vain…

I like to feel good about the way I look and work very hard so that I can feel good. I do spend a lot of time worrying about it though. I follow a number of so-called “healthy lifestylists” on Instagram, too. They are outwardly attractive, scantily clad, Mt. Olympus-looking people who’d like for us to believe that they LIVE to work out. They eat nothing but kale and maybe boiled chicken breast. They even take exquisitely choreographed candid photos. Are these people healthy? Who can say? I suppose they look like it.

I also follow a lot of amazing people society would call fat activists, whose accounts brandish hashtags like #breakthestereotype, #fitatanysize, and #everyBODYmatters. These people accept themselves- no, they love themselves despite criticism by the truckloads. They refuse to be defined by other people’s opinions and inspire me to be bolder in defining myself. These people live their truth and embrace their unique experiences without shame. Are these people healthy? Instinctively we are taught that bigger bodies are undesirable, but does that mean that they are unhealthy? I don’t know. How could I possibly know?

When I think about myself, I know exactly how hard I work to counteract all my terrible habits.

I eat a lot of sweets, but I work out a lot. Is that balance? On the one hand, my “numbers” are great – you know – blood pressure, cholesterol, waist circumference, blood glucose, etc. I’m not at risk for anything, so does that mean I’m healthy? You may think the answer is yes, yet every time I step on the scale, my doctor reminds me that I’m overweight and my BMI is high. I have a career, hobbies, and the ability to support myself. But still, I struggle. I struggle with anxiety and depression, substance abuse, body dysmorphia…the list goes on and on. Does that mean I should spend more time in therapy and or more time dieting and exercising? Which is more important? Physical or mental health? How your body looks or how it functions? Again, I don’t really know.

Unfortunately, pictures don’t always show you the whole story.

I drove by a place of business the other day and saw something shocking. I won’t name names, but it’s a kickboxing gym. There was a gigantic sign out front with the studio namesake and the words, “Fight the Fat”. I work in marketing and let me tell you that I love advertising, especially when it’s clever. This, however, was not clever. It was the opposite of body positivity. It was shame mongering and it turned me off.

To me, this Fight the Fat mantra is negative and exclusive. It is not welcoming to a person beginning their fitness journey. It says, “hey fattie, you don’t belong here, we are against you.” I’m quite sure that this business did not intend to lose customers with this slogan, but how could someone feel inspired by this message? It got me thinking about health and wellness. Not just my personal feelings about the topic, but the way health is viewed by society, and the way people are treated in the health and wellness space.

The motivation to improve oneself is not enough to sidestep judgement. It doesn’t matter that a large body goes for a run, or a chronically depressed person goes to therapy, or that an addict seeks counseling or support The mere need for these things illustrates imperfections. Aside from the rampant negativity in that logic, it’s just plain bad business.

Health and wellness is for everyone.

Deciding to change your lifestyle is hard enough. What is the value in further intimidating people by making them feel less than? Fitness is not just for those who have already demonstrated aptitude. It’s not graduate school. It’s living your best life, and we are all worthy of that.

Shame is a powerful tactic in selling health and wellness.

There are products, companies, and entire industries that prey upon our shame. Again, I don’t want to name names, but you can guess what I’m talking about. These entities remind us that our feelings of inadequacy are valid and suggest that solutions to our problems can be bought for a small monthly auto payment. This is simply not true. You cannot capture health in an image. A healthy life is the combined effort of how we take to care of ourselves—inside and out. It’s not just what we eat, or how we exercise. It’s how we talk to ourselves, it’s how we sleep, and the people we associate with. It is so much more than how our body looks.

The same goes for body positivity. You cannot see a person’s life story, their intentions, their dreams, their struggles from a single image. There is no picture of good health. Who are we to judge which bodies are worthy of appreciation? There is nobody and NO BODY that deserves to be shamed. Bodies belong to people and I think we can all agree to support our human race.

Next time you feel compelled to assess another person’s lifestyle, take a look at your own. If we’re honest, we can all find a little room for improvement. With that in mind, lend your encouragement and positivity to EVERY. SINGLE. BODY. We are all on a journey, the depths of which cannot be seen from the outside.

Namaste,

food + drink

Bake Yourself Happy

August 2, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

A simple biscuit recipe is a thing to treasure. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up mostly in the southeast, but biscuits are just one of my favorite things. They are little pillows of happiness upon which you can create a masterpiece. Or if you want to keep it simple, you can just enjoy them au naturel. Biscuits are synonymous with lazy weekend mornings and Sunday dinners with family. Here in the old North State, there are entire restaurants, like Rise and Flying Biscuit devoted to the humble biscuit. But if you’re not feeling like making a whole adventure out of it, I’ve found an A+ biscuit recipe that you probably have the ingredients for right now in your fridge…go ahead, bake yourself happy.

Ingredients:
2 cups whole wheat flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) cold butter
1 cup unsweetened almond milk (or milk of choice)

You can find the full details of the recipe here, but the gist of it is quite simple. Mix up the dry ingredients, cut the butter into small pieces and sprinkle in. Combine the dry ingredients and butter, and stir until it is like coarse breadcrumbs. Then add the milk in small amounts and continue to stir, finally kneading at the end 8-10 times. You can drop or roll and cut these biscuits before baking them at 450 for about 8-10 minutes (depending on the size of your biscuits).

I took the time to roll these out mostly because…

I wanted to snap an Instagram photo, but I was glad I took the time. I was skeptical I’d mixed it enough, but by the time I turned it out onto the countertop and rolled it a couple times, it was perfect. The biscuits ended up with a really nice even texture, and they were all the same size.

One thing I was really delighted to see with these little biscuits was that, even though I used whole wheat flour that was pretty coarsely ground. I was careful not to overmix, and they were tender and flaky without being dry. A dry biscuit is one of the more offensive things in life, at least to my palette. I had my doubts about using whole wheat flour, but these impressed me. So much so, that I will insist on baking these up next time I have brunch with the fam.

The simplicity of this recipe was the big selling point for me.

I’m not going to lie, I had pretty major munchies when I decided to make these things. So when they finally came out of the oven, I was ready to sample them in a variety of ways. I tried one with strawberry jam and butter, one with Havarti cheese, and then one plain (because it wouldn’t fit in the container…) They were all delicious! This leads me to believe it would be very easy to jazz these up with some fun additions; shredded cheese and chives, or garlic and fresh herbs, maybe some cinnamon sugar for a sweet treat.

I will definitely make these again.

Don’t let all this talk of low carb living and eating clean fool you.
Sometimes, you just need a fluffy pillow of happiness upon which to create a masterpiece. So whether you like your biscuits piled high with breakfast sandwich fixin’s, sopping up sauces, or dolloped with delicious shmears, give this recipe a try! Remember, it only takes a few ingredients and a little hard work to bake yourself happy.

food + drink, just for fun

Out & About in Raleigh: Mother/Daughter Date Night

July 12, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

A few weeks back my mother celebrated her birthday, and as Sur La Table…Mother/Daughter Date Night.usual I was having trouble deciding on the perfect gift. I have had this day on my calendar every year for many years now, but every year it’s a scramble to decide what to get. It’s not that she is difficult to buy for, it’s that she never really wants anything. This year, I wanted to do something different. After much investigation and deliberation, I finally decided on a cooking class at

This was something neither one of us had done before…

so at the very I know I’m a damn good cook. We both love to remix recipes on the fly because those are just suggestions anyhow! This venture would likely be a challenge because we had to follow instructions.

least we would share a new experience. The funny thing about this gift idea is that both my mother and I can throw down in the kitchen. She has taught me everything I know, and

We arrived at Sur La Table for our class a little early…

and the staff kindly lets us know it would begin promptly at 7 pm. They also shared we were welcome to shop the store or go next door to purchase “beverages” to enjoy during our class. What? Cooking class is BYOB? This was a game changer! The menu theme was “Everyday Mediterranean” which to me, sounded like a misnomer. In my experience, this type of cuisine required a lot of TLC, so I was intrigued at how anyone could make it every day. The spread included a variety of clean, plant forward dishes that reflected seasonal produce. They even had a little warning that some ingredients may be swapped out depending on what was available. For a locavore like myself, this was great news!

When it was time to begin, Chef Rebecca, our instructor for the evening, ushered us into the kitchen

as her assistants handed out aprons and showed us to our cooking stations. There was a bounty of beautiful ingredients for our meal of baked snapper with harissa, chilled chard and noodle salad with salsa verde, and blistered green beans with tahini sauce. The meal still sounded pretty fancy for weeknight and I was skeptical we would get everything completed in time.

Chef Rebecca opened the lesson with the best 2-minute cooking basics tutorial I’ve ever heard. Just as casually as you’re reading this, Chef explained how to safely hold a knife; chop, dice, and mince; as well as walking us through the primary cooking utensils and equipment we’d be using. Even though I cook all the time, this little how-to was still a nice refresher. We teamed up with our neighbors; another mother and daughter enjoying an evening out and went about cooking our first recipe.

The thing that was so nice about this lesson was working in teams.

Everyone chose a different task or two to help complete each dish. We were able to divide and conquer without feeling overwhelmed. We still needed to communicate about timing, amounts of ingredients, and order of operations, so this encouraged conversation between everyone in the group. We were all working together and chatting having a great time. A little less than an hour later we’d mixed up the salsa verde, prepped the cold noodle salad, and had our fish ready for the oven.

At this point, Chef told us we’d be taking a short break

to allow the assistants time to clean up a little and get our fish in the oven. Wow, this was definitely worth the money. FYI-cooking is super duper WAY MORE fun when you don’t have to shop or clean 🙂

We went wandering aimlessly through the store as the kitchen was magically tidied up. The place is full of stuff you didn’t even know existed yet would instantly make your life easier. Giving you a few minutes to look around after you’ve been playing with all the gadgets in your cooking class is a pretty great way to make sure people buy something.

After some time we were herded back to the kitchen to finish our dishes.

To my surprise, the handful of steps needed to complete our green bean dish actually taught me something new. I make blistered green beans all the time in the oven, but I never parboil them. I just throw them on in after rinsing and trimming. Chef suggested that parboiling the green beans first would ensure maximum caramelization and even cooking. Ah-ha!

Once the beans were appropriately blistered, we assembled our plates with the fish, the green beans, and the chilled salad. The salsa verde had been quietly melding in a ramekin since the beginning of the lesson, but as we spooned it down over the chilled salad, I knew it was going to be the star of the evening. As the time came to dig into our “Everyday Mediterranean” dishes I could hardly contain myself. They were really delicious, AND the fact that we didn’t have to clean up made the whole experience that much more enjoyable.

My absolute favorite recipe of the evening was the chilled noodle salad with salsa verde , which is just a genius raw sauce to have in your cooking arsenal. Salsa verde is a mix of vinegar, oil, citrus, and fresh herbs…you could add in any other fragrant tidbits like capers or shallots you have on hand. It’s perfect for fish, veggies, grilled naan, or roasted potatoes (I’ve actually made it three times since I went to the cooking class because it’s THAT good).

Simple but effective.

That was really the theme of the whole evening. Simple techniques, flavorful ingredients, and an effective recipe that turned out what I can only call a “weeknight masterpiece”. Sur La Table gave mom and I an opportunity to enjoy creating a meal together while making new friends and learn a few new cooking techniques. The recipes were delicious, but more than that, they were practical and approachable.

The instructor, Chef Rebecca had an inclusive teaching style that allowed each participant to embody their own level of experience. She gave general directions, but offered one-on-one assistance if you had additional questions. If you’re new to cooking, this class will provide a chance to learn in a welcoming and playful environment. If you have some experience, you can really put it to the test! If you’re looking for a delightfully low maintenance culinary adventure, sign up for a cooking class at Sur La Table. You and your best gal / mom / partner / neighbor / WHOMEVER will have an excellent time

taking care

Believing is Seeing

June 14, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

This past Sunday evening, I found myself a little restless. I spent a delightfully relaxing and fun weekend with friends, and after completing everything on my to-do list, I still had some extra energy. Not sure what to do about the antsy state I was in, I decided to take the dog for a walk. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but walking the dog, at least walking MY dog, is really not an easy task. He is S L O W and doesn’t really understand that the point of the walk is to move in a forward progression. I was quite sure this would be a disaster and you know, believing is seeing.

My dog, Bandit (or El Bandito), is a sweet scruffy terrier mix, who despite his independence, has a lot of challenges. His limbs are really short and he has trouble getting those back legs up and down stairs. He is afraid of storm drains and bicycles. He’s easily spooked by the closing of a car door. The neighbor’s new puppy may as well be the Boogie Man. To Bandit, taking a walk is like being on the front lines of a battle: everything is terrifying and we could perish at any moment.

shout-out to my dog! he is the cutest, sweetest, snuggliest… #nationalpuppyday #bandito #permapup #messyhairdontcare

While he has always been a lowrider, he hasn’t always been afraid of everything.

I have read that anxious dogs usually suffer from a lack of confidence. I have also read that dogs do a really amazing job of reading the energy of their human companions. Was it possible that my concern for Bandit and his anxiety was actually making things worse? I’ve been called a helicopter mom more than a few times…

I can’t imagine it’s fun for my boy to be scared all the time.

I have my own issues with anxiety and depression. I know how awful it is to live with constant nagging fear that something isn’t right and it breaks my heart. So, with all of this rolling around in my head, I decided to take action. First, I made an appointment with our local vet (Six Forks Animal Hospital in Raleigh is THE BEST!), and then I leashed up the pup for a walk around the neighborhood. While I wasn’t sure exactly what I would/should/could do to help Bandit, I knew I wanted to help.

We explored the neighborhood as the sun was setting. We moved at his pace and I let him sniff all the things along the way. We stopped to watch ants carry things, we smelled flowers, we even went potty two different times! We came upon a small clearing to the side of one of the buildings. Bandit and I spotted Smokey (our mischievous rebel cat who insists on walking with us) off in the bushes so we settled down in the grass. We stopped to watch life happen for a while.

Smokey and Bandit played while I just took a breath.

As I let myself relax, I began to notice the twinkling of fireflies. At first, it was just one or two, but the longer we sat, the more I discovered. I remember thinking in recent years that there aren’t as many fireflies these days as there were before, like when I was little. As I sat there Sunday night, I had to believe what my eyes were telling me. There were hundreds of beautiful twinkly bugs right here in front of me. I hadn’t seen them before because I wasn’t really looking. I didn’t believe they were there so I didn’t know how to look.

This got me thinking about El Bandito. He’s been through a lot in his almost eight years…

but he is resilient and sweet and a really good boy. I let myself believe that his issues were beyond help and used it as an excuse not to see a solution. I realized that I was projecting my fear and anxiety that something bad would happen onto Bandit. I was assuming the worst and creating a spiral of negativity that was coming to fruition.

I reflected and we spent almost a half hour in the field of the fireflies…

until one sparked a little too close to Bandit’s nose and he started to take off. I felt so bad that he was startled, but it was also kind of hilarious. 🙂

So, maybe we didn’t solve his anxiety in one walk, but I began to grasp that I have to change my mindset about Bandit. I have to believe that his anxiety can be helped and that he can learn to trust me as his pack leader. We are going to the vet this week to get our yearly vaccines and discuss a training plan. I am excited to re-frame our relationship and work with my boy.

The thing about relationships—any and all relationships, is that the way we think about them becomes our reality.

We can choose to see the best or see the worst. We can choose to be a support system for those who are dear to us, or a shelter. When we shelter our loved ones, we take their power away. We don’t allow them to build confidence in their ability to stand on their own two (or four sometimes) feet.

We can’t keep the people and things we love from feeling pain…

but we can help to comfort them. We can encourage freedom and allow trust and confidence to flourish at the same time. We can show up and be present for a dinner, a phone call, even a dog walk. When we believe in the good, when we believe things can change for the better, it is only then that we can start to see just how amazing they can be.

food + drink

Hooked on the ‘buch!

May 31, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

I LOVE BEVERAGES! Be it a sparkling water, a fresh pressed juice, a cup of Joe, or even a fancy Italian soda, I love them ALL! There is something about a refreshing sip of deliciousness that reinvigorates me…my favorite “fun” beverage of late has got to be kombucha. Who am I kidding? This is not news. My love affair with this bubbly beverage has been building for years, and I can successfully say that I am, without a doubt, hooked on the ‘buch.

So what is kombucha anyway?

Aside from being unnecessarily difficult to pronounce, this funky, delicious, little treat is mystifying. At its simplest, kombucha is a fermented beverage made from tea, sugar, bacteria, and yeast. The fermentation process yields a concoction of vinegar, B vitamins, and other chemical compounds (Mayo Clinic). At its most controversial, kombucha may be a divine wellness tonic no one should live without. (Maybe that’s a little dramatic…)

While there are many aboard the kombucha train, its benefits are difficult to quantify. There are a deluge of claims about kombucha; everything from boosting immune health, to probiotic properties, to lowering blood pressure. Unfortunately, there is no documented scientific evidence to support these claims (plus some people may be allergic to it) so we will just focus on its uncanny ability to delight taste buds.

So what’s the deal? Why am I hooked on this stuff?

It’s a delicious and refreshing, natural and most often organic, substitute for water that does not lead to excessive thirst or calorie intake.

In the quest for a healthy lifestyle, I began to notice that alcohol is a tricky beast. It’s a beverage, but it doesn’t quite quench thirst. It actually makes us thirsty. Most often we answer this “thirst signal” by drinking more alcohol, which makes us even more dehydrated…

This conundrum of beverages-that-leave-us-thirsty is not limited to drinks with alcohol; it can be the case for most beverages that have stuff; i.e. flavors, sweeteners, preservatives in them. The “thirst quenching” properties of said beverage are usually overshadowed by whatever is used to flavor that beverage. Maybe they are not adding calories, but these enhancements can add chemicals. And nobody wants that.

As the weather gets warmer we can appreciate the need for adequate hydration, especially for those of us who reside in these ever-so-muggy southeastern states. But, did you know that hunger can be thirst in disguise? That’s right. A hunger pang can actually just be the body begging for a little hydration. If you have ever heard a dietician recommend drinking a glass of water when hunger strikes, this is why.

Why should you drink kombucha?

It’s ALIVE! This may freak some people out, but it’s actually a cool thing. Because of the bacteria culture that is used to bring the bubbles, kombucha is a living food! This means a lot of complex things for the kombucha supply chain, but for the consumer it means that you’re getting a product that contains perishable ingredients and has a pretty aggressive shelf life. That’s what I call getting fresh!
It’s mostly good for you. You will still need to eagle-eye those labels because not all kombucha is created equal. The industry itself is still in the early stages. Lots of new companies bringing their ‘buch to market in small batches with humble ingredients. Here in Raleigh, NC I can find locally brewed ‘buch that is naturally flavored just about anywhere.
It’s a great way to stay hydrated and refreshed. Maybe it’s the bubbles, maybe it’s the seasonal flavors or the fun colors. In my (incredibly biased opinion) the taste is the VERY BEST reason to enjoy it. And, at less than 50 calories a serving, (again not all brands but a good many) it’s a great way to get hydration and flavor (and bubbles) in one magical, fizzy place.

Don’t just take my word for it, get your buns to the nearest Whole Foods (or grocer of choice) and pick up some kombucha today! It may help stave off a hunger craving, it may help you stay hydrated, it may even cure what ails you, but you will never know unless you try! That ‘buch may be a little funky, but then again so are you. Be brave and buy yourself some ‘buch! 🙂

Cheers!
E