How did you get here – The91Rewind

We are super excited to introduce you to our next guest in the “how did you get here series.” Carrie Cheatham is the co-owner of Snail Mail, LLC in Richmond, Virginia. These cards have a special purpose and can be found in various local businesses. BUT rather than tell you about them, let’s let Carrie have the honors…

Tell us a little bit about you?

My name is Carrie and I create hand-painted greeting cards. When I say hand-painted, I mean every single one is painted by my hand, and I don’t have any originals. Between my husband (Andrew) and I, we have painted close to 11,000 cards in two years. The motivation behind what we do is that we give back a portion of the proceeds is given to local organizations that support our refugees and immigrant neighbors. We partner with five different organizations, all but one is located in Virginia. We work with two organizations that help our Latino neighbors, one is based in Fredericksburg and the other in Richmond. Then we work with an agency in Harrisonburg, Richmond, and LA.

How and why did you start your journey?

It started when I was in college. I was a sociology major at Randolph Macon College and had no idea what I wanted to do. During my senior year, I did an internship with ReEstablish Richmond and I worked under Kate Ayers who is now the executive director. I worked alongside her during my internship and fell in love. I had no idea there were so many resettled refugees in Richmond. They are such a special group of people. It taught me a lot about how privileged I am as an American, and just how easy I have it. If I can use what I have learned in my lifetime to say that you are welcome here, you are important, you had a life in Afghanistan, you had a life in the Congo, but now you’re here, and everything is so different. I want to be someone that they can trust and confide in.

After I interned, I volunteered for a while, but then I graduated from college. Suddenly I had to figure life out on my own. (FYI: Adulting is hard!) So I got a job as one does out of college, but in 2017, I knew I wanted to go back to working with refugees and being in community with them again. At the time, I was also getting frustrated with our political environment and how hateful and exclusive it was. I didn’t know at first what I could do or make. I couldn’t just make a product and sell it, because that’s not who we are. It has to have a purpose.

Then my husband had a suggestion. “You make everyone birthday cards and Christmas cards… Why not make greeting cards? Now we’re here. It went from frustration, to wanting to take these heavy emotions and transform them into something productive. It took a lot of soul searching and conversations, until my husband pushed me to just do it. Turns out people like greeting cards more than we thought.

What is the most rewarding thing about your venture?

It’s the support. When I first started I thought I was going to get a lot of kickback, because of where the money goes. The community of Richmond has rallied around us, and it feels good to know that this space is welcoming. It feels good to know that it’s not just me or my husband that feel like this. There are so many people in this community that love who we are, but love our mission. Reconnecting with ReEstablish Richmond through this, directly by volunteering again and being in connection with refugees. If we’re going to advocate for them, then we have to have conversations and be good neighbors ourselves. The community of Richmond, Orange (where I’m from), and Charlottesville, basically the central Virginia region has supported us, loved us, and believed in us. Coming from a small town to a city has been hard and intimidating, but through this, I have felt so loved. It drives me to do more, be more and to make more.

What was the most challenging part?

The cards themselves. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of creative energy. It also takes a lot from one hand. This one hand (Carried held up left hand) does a LOT of work.

Fortunately, my husband helps with the painting. I draw all of the designs in a sharpie pen and he can go through and fill in if he has an example. Here’s the funny thing… I do an okay job painting because I know that I can go back and touch it up. Andrew is not that way. He paints it all perfectly, so his cards are way more effective. They’re just ready to go for stamping.

By stamping, I mean actually stamping each card. They are all stamped twice with two different branded stamps. An additional unrealized challenge is that the cards require a lot of thought into creating the words to put on them. Inspiration can come at the most random times or not at all. Currently, I have cards with sunflowers on them and no words.

What have you learned?

So much! So so much!

Being a maker is not easy. Being a maker of a product is something very special. It’s your own baby, that you coddle, and love on. A prime example is when we launched our website… I called the woman who helped me make it when I hit publish and asked her, “should I be crying?” She told me, “YES, it’s like you’ve birthed a baby. You’ve been working on this for months.”

I’ve also learned that every single moment is special. I’m so thankful to be on this journey and grateful that it began by working with refugees. Now I have so many of their stories to tell and experiences to share with people. Learning to love the little things is something I didn’t notice until I started doing this. Now every little victory is really special.

What advice would you give someone else on this path?

Have a purpose. It makes it so much more meaningful to have something that you’re making it for. Not everyone needs to give money back, not everyone needs to advocate for somebody, but having some sort of underlying mission and why for what you do it really important. It makes it easier on those hard days when you can’t think of anything, don’t want to paint anything, or don’t want to make anything. When you think about why you’re here and what you’re doing, it’s easier with a purpose. So, know your why.

How has it changed you?

Drastically. It has drastically changed me.

I have always been an empathetic person, somebody who tries to put myself in other people’s shoes. I think of how everything ties together to push me in the direction of being where I’m supposed to be. Right out of college I got a “big kid” job and then I started making these cards on the side. Suddenly I realized something didn’t fit, and realized it was my job. I took a leap of faith, quit my full-time job with benefits. I started working super part-time somewhere else 15 hours a week, and spent the rest of my time these making cards.I know that I’m in a fortunate situation because I’m married and the second income is a huge help.

But having that moment when I was sitting in the office realizing that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be at my old job changed me. I realized that I am supposed to be with people and be a voice for people who don’t have a voice right now. It’s changed me in so many ways that I can’t pinpoint just yet. It’s like this puzzle that keeps on adding onto itself. I don’t know where this is going to be in five years, but I’m just trusting it. It’s been built so beautifully, and I’m grateful. The universe is doing something pretty great.

What has surprised you the most?

How many people want to sell our cards and buy our cards!
They’re super simple, and they’re blank inside. You have to write something inside them yourself!

Also, most of the stores our cards are in, the businesses reached out to us about selling them. Urban Farmhouse, for example, reached out to us, and we found out that they learned about us through a hashtag on Instagram. We didn’t even launch a website until this spring. We sold cards through Facebook and word of mouth at first. Our cards made it into their first store in the fall of 2017, and it was at this point that we created an Instagram account. It’s so surprising how much word of mouth and social media makes a difference.

Anything else you’d like to share?

It makes it a lot easier having someone who does this with you. My husband has a full-time job, and he still helps me all the time. I think that speaks wonders of the type of person he is. You see my face and hear from me all the time, but he works behind the scenes. He paints, he stamps, he packages, and gets cards where they need to go. He likes to say he’s the shipping and handling guy. The behind the scenes support is so important. He encourages me, he reminds me to take a break, and pushes me to keep going. Andrew doesn’t like having his picture taken, so you don’t see him, but he’s behind the scenes really making a difference. He deserves a lot of credit.

Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us Carrie!

If you’re looking for a card to send for the next birthday, holiday, or a just-because occasion, we highly recommend checking out Snail Mail. We are big fans, and we hope you will be too! Also, don’t forget to give Snail Mail a follow on Instagram or a like on Facebook.

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Sarah Goodwin

May 23, 2019October 12, 2022 @happedancing

There is simply no substitute for discipline and good, old-fashioned hard work. I have had the pleasure of watching our next guest author transform over the past 18 months, and wow. It is truly amazing to see someone exemplify what it means to DO THE WORK. I’ve done a lot of things in life, but I haven’t done anything like what Sarah shares with us today. Without any further ado, I introduce you to my dear friend Sarah Goodwin in a very VERY special “How Did You Get Here” Interview…

Brief Bio – Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Sarah Goodwin and for as long as I can remember, I’ve been obese. I remember noticing size difference between me and classmates in Kindergarten, and later asking my thin friends about what they ate, how they restricted their diets, controlled their cravings, how they exercised, etc. when I was in 4th grade. To say I’ve been acutely aware that I was bigger is an understatement. I felt the bullying, name-calling, shunning,…that’s to be expected from children. I’ve seen evidence that coworkers/former friends/acquaintances have discussed my appearance in a negative way. It never feels good to read those words, especially when it’s someone I felt close to, but it’s illuminating about that person’s true self. There’s a negative stigma around size, and people associate your worth, or lack thereof, based on your appearance. People see an obese person and assume lazy, unhealthy, doesn’t care. What they don’t bother seeing is the person behind that: their likes, dislikes, personality, health issues hindering any effort to get healthier.

How did you get started/here?

We had family photos taken in Fall 2017 when my son was around a year old. I wanted our little family to have some really great photos of all of us while he was still little and learning to walk. When we got the files from our photographer, I was in complete shock. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the big smiles and the excellent quality of the photos. But I was at my highest known weight…is that how I look to everyone else? It certainly wasn’t the person I saw in the mirror every day. It’s a sickening feeling; I’d been morbidly obese for years, but I never saw myself as such. Which is odd. I am generally confident about certain things, but in that moment I had very low confidence and body image. It shook me enough that I decided I didn’t want to look that way and was ready to make changes.

Tell us about it. Why?

Between those photos and how I appeared in my son’s 1st birthday photos a couple weeks later, I’d had enough. I’d had that feeling before, of being ready to change, to diet or exercise. And most of the time it was short lived. Good faith efforts with no real results. Most of the photos I took with me and my son ended up getting deleted because I hated how I looked. Which is terrible in retrospect, because he’ll never be that small again.

On 12/27/17, my husband introduced me to a Facebook group called Ketogenic Dieters (KD). Years ago, we tried a LCHF (low carb, high fat) version of the diet for a very short period, but this group’s method was different. The KD group follows a nutritional ketogenic diet: LC, but not HF. They’ve developed a really great document that sums up the diet and science behind it, complete with pages of links to reputable studies for specific topics. (We primarily follow the work of Phinney & Volek). This document is a 45 page e-book, and I credit that file with providing the foundation for everything I’ve done in the past year. Later, I joined the Ketogains group, which follows pretty much the same philosophy. Both groups have excellent resources that I’ve been studying.

Most people think of eating large volume of fat when they think “ketogenic.” Which makes sense; the medical ketogenic diet was designed to treat pediatric epileptic patients, and has been extended to treat some people with autism, cancer, etc who benefit from higher amounts of fat intake. The ketogenic diet based on eating certain ratios of macronutrients, so a percentage of your daily calories should come from protein, fat, and carbs. You may be surprised to learn that it wasn’t designed for weight loss, even though that can be a result.

All you need for ketosis is carb restriction. Put simply, ketosis is a metabolic process where the body burns fat instead of glucose. Period. There are a couple of things to remember…first, you can hit the ketogenic ratio, but be eating far too many calories in which case you would not realize the benefits. The other thing is nutrients: if your goal is fat loss, why prioritize eating fat? Wouldn’t it make more sense to burn what the body already has stored? The nutrition for my plan involves adequate protein to protect muscle mass to make sure you’re losing fat, not muscle, and mostly fibrous, leafy green veggies and avocado which are low in sugar and high in fiber. When you think about it, it’s what we’d all consider to be healthy: meat + veg. Lots of micronutrients found in those sources.

I started following the macros (grams, not percentages) from Ketogenic Dieters (KD) on 1/1/18 and have lost a little more than half my weight. I’ve had 4 DEXA scans since then, which have shown the weight lost to have been from fat, not muscle, which means I’m eating sufficient protein to protect muscle mass. I decided at some point during 2018 that I wanted to attempt the Tobacco Road Half Marathon in 2019. I’d done the race in 2016 with a time of 3h:58m. My goal for 2019 was to be under 3hrs, which is a huge change, but doable. I started training in the fall and it’s paying off. Every time I complete a long run (6mi, 8mi, 9.5mi, etc), I’m floored that…

1. I was able to complete it.
2. I didn’t die.
3. Finishing that distance made me feel stronger and energized to do even more.

I finished Tobacco Road Half Marathon with a time of 2h:47m, well below my goal. A month prior, I also signed up for the Cary Greenways Half Marathon that would take place 2 weeks after Tobacco Road. I figured I was already in shape to run, so why not. Cary Greenways was much hillier, but I beat my own personal record and finished at 2h:43!! I’m thrilled that this body is capable of so much and is rising to the challenges I’m throwing at it.

Most interesting part?

I’ve gained some confidence, and don’t have the burden of strangers’ glares when I’m out in public any more, but I’ve noticed insecurities that I didn’t have before. By getting rid of the major issues, I’ve uncovered some that were too minor to have taken much mental space before. So I’m working on those. ☺ It’s a great reminder that the grass isn’t always greener and that everyone is working through something. If we approached others with the understanding that, in spite of appearances, they’re also working through a personal struggle, I think the world would be a bit more harmonious.

Most rewarding part?

Obviously, the vanity of losing half my weight in just over a year and being in a smaller body is hugely rewarding. I’m down more than ten pants sizes and have gained confidence in many areas, not just physical appearance. I’ve never bought as many clothes as I have in the past year, but it’s been fun to be able to shop in the “regular” size section. I’m smaller now than I was in grade school both in weight and clothing size. I look and feel different. I catch myself looking in the mirror from time to time trying to accept my new features, that this is real, this is how I look.

But from a health perspective, my body fat percentage has reduced significantly, and is now considered in the “fitness” range. I’m running long distances and challenging this body, my body, to do things it’s never been asked to do before.

There are dozens of non-scale victories (NSV) that I celebrate, because the scale is an asshole and doesn’t tell the whole story! From being able to wear a seatbelt more comfortably, cross my legs, sit in a chair without my hips squeezed in the sides, smaller clothing sizes, share the rocking chair side-by-side with my son, less knee pain when walking, get out of the recliner without pain/effort, walk up stairs easily, squat to look my toddler in the eyes (HUGE NSV).

What motivates?

At first, it was the movement on the scale. I don’t think I stalled until 5-6 months in, which is incredible. But it’s also now a personal challenge to finish what I’ve started and continue to challenge this body to meet new goals. I’ve not come this far to only come this far. I’ve kept track of my journey and metrics in a datebook. I made a list of NSVs that I hoped to achieve and have almost completed all on that list! The rest will come as I continue my journey.

I should mention that I don’t have an ultimate scale goal. I’ve had milestone weight goals along the way, and goals have been updated as I’ve hit each one. First to see if I could reach my pre-pregnancy weight, then to see if I could get under 200 lbs, then to lose certain percentage of my starting weight. I’m past the 50% lost mark, and have attained a “healthy” body fat%. I don’t have a firm BF% or weight in mind, but I want to gain muscle mass and definition, which is totally subjective and I won’t know when I’m ready to start maintaining until I get there. This is uncharted territory for me, so I’m going to feel it out and decide what feels and looks the best to me.

Most challenging part?

In all of this, it’s been more apparent that I’d been living with an eating disorder, specifically binge eating. But it went undiagnosed. Doctors always told me to eat less and exercise, but never bothered to find out if there were any medical issues (goes back to the stigma of being fat: doctors frequently discriminate against us). Because I committed to following my macros without cheating, I’d set strict boundaries for myself. To help firm that up was the knowledge that after being in ketosis for several weeks and becoming fat adapted, the choice to jump off the wagon and eat a super carby meal would:

1. Give me considerable GI distress
2. Kick me out of ketosis and derail progress,
3. Be incredibly difficult to get back on track motivation-wise.

It doesn’t work for everyone, but I upped the ante to try and keep myself from binge eating and going off track and it’s been successful. I haven’t binged since starting, in spite of temptation.

Every time I’d cheated in the past, I’d never been able to limit the cheat to just one bite, one meal, one day. It always lent to excuses, and inevitable failure. If I didn’t commit to change, then I wouldn’t change. It was ultimately only hurting me, but would now also negatively impact my son, his eating habits, how he interacted with his mother. A lot more was on the line.

As I’m getting closer to whatever my goal will be, I’m feeling the pressure of “what if.” What happens when I start maintenance? It’s a definite fear that I’ll wind up undoing all of this hard work.

What have you learned? Advice to give?

This year and this process has been full of introspection. I’m grateful that 1/1/18 I had the courage to start on this journey. Grateful that I put in the effort to jump in, learn, and commit 100% to changing the way I eat. Because of that effort of my past self, and her hard work and determination, my current self is reaping the reward.

I’m so incredibly grateful for the KD and Ketogains communities for providing evidence-based info from reputable sources. It’s no pseudo-science from some chiropractor or “You-Tube” star – there’s peer-reviewed studies backing up the methods. That’s important to me.

There are several people that I’ve gotten to know in these groups and have learned from them. I keep screenshots of many of the inspirations shared within the group to reference when I need support:

-It’s a slow process, but quitting won’t speed it up

-When you feel like quitting, think about WHY you started

-Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow

-Do something today that your future self will thank you for

-Failure to Plan is Planning to Fail

My advice is to just start. No one is perfect from day one. Strive for progress, not perfection. When you make a mistake, spend some time deconstructing it, make a plan to address the trigger the next time it pops up, and move on. You can’t fix the past, but you can make better decisions going forward.

We are so grateful to have a compassionate and hardworking friend to bravely share her transformation. She reminds us that no one is perfect, but we are all trying. And if we lead with that, we can’t go wrong. If you want to learn more about Sarah’s journey, head over to @operaticsarah on Instagram!

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Carolyn Ghezzi

March 14, 2019April 14, 2023 @happedancing

Today we continue our “How Did You Get Here” series with Carolyn Ghezzi. Carolyn got her start at North Carolina’s School of the Arts and is a performing arts legacy unto herself. She is based in Raleigh, North Carolina, but has worked all over the world. She has shared the spotlight with some of the dance world’s biggest icons and performed her original songs in front of thousands at global events. Her career encompasses performing dance and music in addition to coaching, teaching, and producing young artists. She is one of the most interesting women I have had the pleasure of knowing, and she just so happens to be one of my favorite ballet teachers at the North Carolina Dance Institute.

I am so excited to present The 91 Rewind’s first performing artist profile in our How Did You Get Here series.

Carolyn Ghezzi, professional dancer and musician.

How did you get started in music and dance? You mentioned coming from a musical family, how did that shape your love for music?

From as far back as I can remember I’ve been writing songs and singing. That came first and is part of my family legacy. My father was a well-known guitarist who played with the big bands, and also accompanied Judy Garland when she toured the East Coast. My mother was a jazz and opera singer, and her mother was a renowned opera singer in Wales. Music was all around me all the time. My mom has told me that I was writing entire Broadway shows when I was 5 years old. She created a space for me in the basement and I wrote out all the characters and parts and made up all the songs. Then, when I was finished, I would come upstairs, stand on the coffee table, and perform the show for the family. It makes me laugh even now.

Dance came a bit later when no one in my family could keep up with me. I was a bundle of energy, constantly moving, and my parents were exhausted. I was always running, jumping, dancing, moving, I never stopped. Sometimes doing cartwheels around the house for long periods of time. When I was 8 years old, they enrolled me at the Academy of Dance Arts in Winston-Salem. That was the start of my dance career. By the age of 9 my mother said I looked her in the eye and declared that I was going to be a professional dancer.

I’m very stubborn and I’ve always known how to channel that into helping push myself forward. I was taken into the North Carolina School of the Arts (NCSA) when I was 11 years old by Robert Lindgren, who at the time, was the Dean of the dance program at NCSA. At 15 years old, while I was still in school at the North Carolina School of the Arts, I was already dancing professionally as an apprentice with the North Carolina Dance Theatre.

When did you realize you wanted to be a professional artist? Was it a specific moment or a calling from within?

I think that just happened organically. With dance, you just do the work. You audition and either it happens or it doesn’t. With music, I just kept pushing forward; recording and performing, and it all just came together. I think I’ve always been an artist. It’s never been a choice for me. A few times I tried to do a regular job and ignore the artist in me, and that was a disaster. I’m miserable without my art. Being an artist is not an easy road and is not for everyone. But I feel that IT chose ME and not the other way around

Professional careers in the performing arts are hard to come by. How did this become a reality for you?

I really feel the reason that I’ve been successful in both music and dance is that I always knew instinctively when to rebel and when to be submissive. In the dance world, it’s all about discipline. Doing what you’re told, but making your way to the front of the class and demanding attention. Your style and your movement have to be undeniable. There is so much competition, but you can only really compete with yourself to be successful. As far as my dancing, I was driven every day to push myself harder and harder. I did have a private coach and amazing mentor, Nolan Dingman, from the New York City Ballet. I followed him around the country for several years as he helped me get to a professional level.

In the music world, I think my naivete was actually a good thing. Because I came from a musical family I thought everyone sat around and sang and played instruments all the time. That just seems like the everyday normal stuff to me. When I started recording and performing, I really didn’t stress or think much about it at all because it was just a part of me. Performing was something I’d always done as far back as I can remember.

I got involved with the AIDS Alliance to help raise money and I ended up working with them for 7 years on the World AIDS Day concert. That helped push my band into the national spotlight. I would be commissioned to write the theme song every year, and we would perform in front of as many as 15,000 people. During those years I got a lot of publicity a lot of opportunities and I even had a song that made it up the Billboard charts.

I think you just keep your head down, do the work, and be open to collaborating with other artists; which I always have been. Then, the opportunities present themselves and you just have to know when to grab them.

The radiant and stylish Ms. Carolyn.

Sometimes the struggle gets real. Tell us about a time when you weren’t sure if you were going to be successful? What did you do?

I had to laugh out loud about that one. Have I ever thought I wouldn’t be successful? How about every minute of every day? Haha. I’m a perfectionist and that’s something I struggle with daily.

For me, success is getting up every day doing what I love, having wonderful family friends, and being passionate about what I do and making a living doing it. I’m doing that very successfully now, and I found a good balance in my life as well. I enjoy everything that I do whether it’s reading biographies, watching documentaries and concerts, checking out new films by directors that I love, or just enjoying being at home and being grateful. I have some very lovely friends, and I enjoy spending time with them when the mood hits me. I’ve always been a loner and I protect and value my alone time.

Walk us through a typical work week? Is there even such a thing? Are you working on different projects simultaneously or do you compartmentalize?

I really don’t have a typical work week but I’m very disciplined and organized with my schedule. On Fridays, I start to look at the following week and see how many private dance classes I can fit in, what research and work I can do for my musicians, how I can balance my own time for my art, and still have time to relax. With the exception of my set classes at NCDI, everything else is constantly changing. I try to get up about the same time each day and make sure that I get some cross training in; whether it’s stretching, weights, biking, walking or giving myself a ballet class. I have my coffee and reading time in the morning, checking email and preparing for my day. I’m much more careful in the last few years about getting enough rest and making sure that I can balance both music and dance without compromising either.

It seems like you manage many different parts of being an artist…How do you stay grounded amidst the chaos?

Staying grounded is actually easy for me. The world can be a harsh place and I don’t really love reality. No artist tolerates reality. The hard part for me is finding my escapes. The amount of exercise I get keeps me grounded along with my family. I know what’s important in life, and I never stop being grateful. I’m of the mindset that you can live your life one of two ways. You can either feel entitled or grateful. I choose to feel grateful. That helps to keep me level and definitely keeps me happy.

I’ve always juggled music and dance…they do go together, of course. Sometimes I spend more energy on dance, sometimes music. In the last five years, however, I’ve split my time pretty evenly. I’ve written dozens of songs, recorded extensively, and performed everywhere from small coffee shops to big venues in front of 15,000 people. I’m totally comfortable in the performer role even though I’m basically an introvert. I’ve been making my living as an artist the majority of my life with some side jobs thrown in. I love being an instructor at the North Carolina Dance Institute, which I consider my home. I do private coaching which I’ve done since I was 17 years old while coming up through the ranks as a professional ballerina and also teach full classes. I run a music promotion company called CJG Innovative where I help independent artists reach their music goals. I’m still very active, writing and recording myself, with five new songs in the last year.

You mentioned loving to collaborate with others. Can you tell us about a really memorable project you worked on?

There are so many amazing projects that I’ve worked on it’s hard to choose one. Some of my most memorable times have been in the recording studio working with recording engineer and producer Jason Richmond. Jason is a young amazing talent who works out of Fidelitorium Studios (among others). I love going into the studio with different musicians, but having Jason produce the tracks. I believe Jason and I make a great team, and the music that’s come out of my projects with him has been some of the best that I’ve done. I no longer second-guess myself anymore when I write songs, and that’s very freeing. Plus, Jason is a genius in the studio and he knows how to capture the moment perfectly.

What advice would you give someone like myself who is looking to convert creative and lucrative hobbies to a full-time gig?

I think if you want to turn something that you love into something that you do for a living, you have to just keep working at it every day. Have your vision in mind and keep networking till you find the place where you belong. It can get very demoralizing and difficult at times, but you can’t give up. Music and dance are two of the hardest careers in the world. They can beat you down if you let them. It takes an incredible amount of inner strength, discipline, and passion to keep moving forward. You have to decide that you’re going to get there one way or another. I’ve done that my whole life, and I won’t kid you it hasn’t always been easy.

I’ve also had many years that were very difficult not just personally, and professionally, but physically and emotionally. But I think underneath it all, I’m an eternal optimist and believe that good things are waiting on the other side of all those difficulties. Anyone can give up, but that’s just too easy. I believe in going to the solution. In the last 10 years of my life, I’ve become very solution-oriented. I always tell my dancers, don’t waste your time and your energy on frustration, find the solution. What your mind believes is what you will accomplish. I believe I can accomplish anything I want if I work like crazy. Don’t give up.

The bottom line is, just keep going.

Thank you Carolyn!!!

We are so glad to share about the fabulous Ms. Carolyn Ghezzi, Raleigh’s performing arts hidden gem. If you’re interested in taking classes with Carolyn, check her out at http://www.ncdanceinstitute.com/index.htm! Come dance with us 🙂

In love and light,

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Natasha Foreman

January 31, 2019 Crystal Varner Parker

We are so excited to continue our How Did you Get Here series in 2019 on The91Rewind. Each time, we are bringing you stories of transformation, empowerment, and moxie. Today we have the opportunity to share the story of Natasha Foreman, whom you may know as curlycurvyyogini on Instagram, the founder of Lucid Punk apparel , and owner of Lucid Living. This woman wears MANY hats and she’s quite the calming healer. We can’t wait for you to get to know Natasha and love her as much as we do.

Reconnect through the power of sound. Each Tuesday, Natasha leads a Sound Concert from 6:15 – 7:15pm 🧘🏽🧘🏻‍♂️ Drop-ins are $17. All Lucid Living members receive 20% off of drop-in rate. #lucidlyliving 📸: @katieyuenphoto

How did you get started?

I totally lost my sh*t in 2009 when I was working as a financial advisor. I was extremely successful in my twenties and was fortunate to be in business alongside my boo. Everything was in this place of success in the eyes of many, but I spent my days managing 35 agents at the cost of 60-80 hour workweeks. I was always having to train and inspire others, but I was doing nothing to replenish and care for myself. In the midst of this, I gained 50 pounds, had an erratic sleep pattern, and my anxiety attacks (these initially started in college) became debilitating.

It was at this point, I decided something had to change. I broke things off with my boo, signed over my part of the business, packed up and left D.C. for Richmond. I stayed with my mom for nine months, during what I call my sabbatical, but I hardly left the house. This was a turning point for me. I had removed the factors causing me to hit this breaking point, but I didn’t have the tools I needed to care for myself moving forward.

After being on “sabbatical” for nine months, I had to start working again to support myself. I started working in financial advising again but in a more behind-the-scenes way. Fortunately, a client I knew owned a yoga studio, so I went to check it out. I had read that yoga could help with your breath, and I knew I could use some help breathing. I went to my first class, never stopped, and can now say that yoga saved my life.

Yoga was a catalyst. It pushed me toward more ways I could heal myself. Then, it turned into me wanting to share these tools with others.

What is the most rewarding thing about what you’re doing?

I get to hold space for people. Here, they can come into this space as they are and willingly move from this place of focusing outward to working inward.

What led you to feel the need to create Lucid Living?

Honestly, I moved from my heartspace. When I move from my heartspace, it’s where God or the Divine resides. I don’t always understand it or want to do it, but I follow it. I moved to my current physical space in March 2018, but prior to this, I was in a 200 square foot space in Carytown. The old space was just for healing services; I actually had to rent a different space for group classes. But one day my heartspace (the Divine) said, “I need you to do more. I need you to create a platform not just for you, but for others too.” So I did it. I wasn’t sure how, but I just did. Now, I have friends who don’t understand how I trust like this, but it’s gotten me this far, so I can’t stop.

What would you say has been the most challenging part of your journey?

Balance. I feel like I might be able to speak for other healers and those creating a space for others. We move from a place from working on ourselves to then seeing how great these tools are for others. I began caring for others and their ability to heal themselves, too. Once we start focusing on others, we forget about ourselves and our groundedness starts to suffer. I know now that I can’t be who I need to be for my clients, students, or anyone who comes here if I don’t take care of myself.

What is something you have learned?

So many things! Can the lessons stop??

To trust. When I feel this tug at my heart to move in a direction, I have to trust. When I don’t follow my heart, I see that I should have done it. Trusting and following that heartspace

Second, Fill my cup before I fill others. I know now that my nervous breakdown in 2009 was because I was constantly giving to others. Going. Giving. Going. Giving. Doing, BUT there was no being. There was no sitting and connecting in my space. I need to remember that I am important, and then I can do for others.

Seasons change, moon phases changes, and now our hours have changed! Our updated hours of operation are:⠀ ⠀ MON-THURS: 10am – 8 pm⠀ FRI: 10am – 6pm⠀ SAT: 9am – 5pm⠀ SUN: Closed⠀ ⠀ Book your appointment for an individual healing session online or call the studio at 804.592.0747 🧘🏽💆🏼🧘🏾‍♂️🧘🏻💆🏾🧘🏻‍♂️⠀ ⠀ #lucidlyliving ⠀ 📸: @katieyuenphoto

If someone wants to get started on this journey of being a healer, guiding people, or providing a space, what advice would you give them?

Find the tools that help you. If it’s yoga, singing bowls, or something you love, then that’s something to explore more. Go to a yoga teacher training and learn more for your own practice. If the sound of the singing bowls speaks to you, go to a training. Whenever we pursue a training, we don’t have to do or teach that thing. When I first went to yoga teacher training, I didn’t want to be a yoga instructor at all; I signed up to deepen my own practice. Before I finished that training, I was offered some teaching opportunities.I heard in my heartspace a call to do that thing I didn’t want to do.

Basically what I’m saying is to explore it all, because there are so many things in the alternative healing modalities. You have to explore to see what resonates for you. Determine which things help you feel the most grounded and centered, then if they do that for you, you’ll be able to hold space for others from the evidence of a lasting shift in your life.

How has all of this changed you?

Oh wow, this is being really real. Natasha now, is not Natasha back in 2009 (obviously), and I’m grateful for it. I needed to be that person back then, but I’m grateful that I have evolved. I transformed from being selfish and focusing on what I wanted, to a person who is grateful and wants to give. I feel like I have been given so much in the way of mentoring (from other small business owners, healers) and guidance from others, I want to be able to give back. People who know me from college and those who know me now are like two different worlds. Sometimes the people from now and then don’t always intersect, but those that do can really see the change in me. They can see the evolution, shifting, and growth. Hopefully, this is something we would all do, continually being better versions of ourselves.

What has surprised you most?

I like to be the person behind the scenes. I’m a learned extrovert, but really I’m the introvert that wants to be at home where I get fueled. What surprised me most, has been the reception of being in this space. Whenever we have a workshop or series-based class here and people leave talking about their experience, I’m pleasantly surprised that it happened here, at my place. I still can’t believe this space provides that, and my heart overflows with love and gratefulness. I have such gratitude for the words people say about what this space means for them. All I wanted to do is hold a space for people, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how receptive everyone has been of it.

Anything else you would like to share?

I’d encourage people to keep following their heart. I’m grateful for you two thinking of me to share what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. Thank you for your support at Lucid Living

Thank you for allowing us to interview you Natasha!

We hope you enjoyed getting know this awesome Richmonder. If you are fortunate enough to live in RVA, stop by Lucid Living for a healing service (Intuitive Massage, Thai Bodywork, Reiki, Yoni Steaming, Sound Therapy, and Aromatouch), a workshop, a Sound Concert, to purchase something from Lucid Punk Apparel (Reiki -infused clothing), or to learn more. When Natasha isn’t at Lucid Living, she also volunteers with the Junior League for the last ten years, and serves as the Vice-Chair on the Project Yoga Board of Directors.

Let the Himalayan singing bowls help you stay balanced and relaxed this holiday season. ⠀ ⠀ Join us this evening for a meditative Sound Concert from 6:15 – 7:15pm w/ Natasha. We can't wait to see you there!⠀ ⠀ #lucidlyliving⠀ 📸: @katieyuenphoto

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Kari Pichora

October 16, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

This month, “How Did You Get Here” takes us to the beautiful desert of Arizona where we get acquainted with Kari Pichora, or KJ as we know her. KJ and Erica met in 2017 at Ragnar Carolinas, a relay race on the trails of South Carolina’s Ann Springs Close. KJ’s love for outdoor adventuring combined with her kind and down-to-earth spirit is captivating. She moved to Arizona earlier this summer, but we had to keep in touch with our girl! Luckily, we managed to catch up with her this week, in-between trips.

By day, KJ is an orthotist, or is it a prosthetist? Some weeks, maybe it’s both. She works with her clients to create unique orthotic and prosthetic equipment that will aid in rehabilitation and ultimately help them get back to enjoying life. When she’s not working to put people back together again, she’s working on herself. KJ is the poster-child for solo travel and she’s sharing a little of what she’s learned through exploring the world as a party of one.

Tell us about life in Arizona! Why did you want to move there?

I had the opportunity to live in Arizona for a few months in 2014 and loved it. I found the desert very calming. After my short stay I ended up in LA and found myself driving a couple of hours most weekends to the desert for adventures; the wildlife is abundant and you will never hear such stillness and quiet anywhere else. I decided to go back to Phoenix to enjoy that calm feeling, be outside every day (yes, even possible in the summer!), and have basically anything I want to do hobby/activity/exercise/eating-wise at my disposal. Most others are also out taking advantage of living here and as an early riser, it’s nice to see so many other people out before the sun. Also, the people are consistently friendly. Simply put: I feel like I fit in and belong in the desert!

What is the most rewarding thing about solo adventuring?

I always say “it’s not an adventure until things start going wrong”…and adventuring alone makes you figure it out. There are lots of lessons learned in preparedness and working through problems that can translate over into day to day life. Also, I’ve met a lot of wonderful and impactful people that I wouldn’t have met if I was with others.

What is the best adventure you have had so far?

That’s like asking me which one of my cats I like best! Any adventure that takes me to places I can’t get to by car is my favorite. One place I always find myself going back to though is Zion National Park. Every time I go there it’s like I’m seeing it for the first time. The beauty is breathtaking, the hikes are diverse, and the views are worth the work you put in. Zion is one of the places that has changed me in that it has helped me to want to do my best to be healthy so that I can do the hikes and see the views of all the places.

What motivates you to travel and adventure on your own?

It’s knowing that I can either go alone or not go at all. I started doing things on my own because people would cancel plans. I started just by doing simple things like dinner on my own. You begin to become comfortable with your own company which is an amazing thing. I then went on a cruise by myself. And then adventures like hiking mountains and camping. Being alone helps me be more mindful of my surrounds and notice things I wouldn’t with others but it also makes the times that you do get to experience something with someone that much more special.

I also like to do adventures like camping and crazy hikes because I think being uncomfortable is good for us. The world we live in has made it too easy for us to maintain comfort all the time and we begin to take it for granted, and worse, expect it. I see people literally break down because of silly things that go wrong and they have to be uncomfortable for even a short period of time. Go on a three-day camping trip with no running water and you’ll come out with an enhanced appreciation for the things we take for granted and a lot of them at the expense of the planet.

What is the most challenging part?

Learning new skills…like pitching a tent and building a fire! It’s true what they say: if it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you.

What have you learned? What advice would you give someone else who’s interested in being a solo adventurer?

I have learned that being able to find your bearings is very important! Always have a map and take a class to learn some skills (REI has some good ones). Also, trust yourself. If something feels off, whether it’s the route you’re taking or the campsite you picked, you’re probably right.

And lastly, be prepared to go with the flow because you can’t plan for everything. Once I was traveling to Sedona from LA for a half marathon. Along the way, I remembered that AZ doesn’t participate in daylight savings time. Forgetting this small detail meant I was cutting it close and may miss the race. I remembered there was also a half marathon taking place in Yuma which was a little closer. I decided on the fly to reroute. So, there I was, in Yuma (very southern, hot AZ) but dressed for Sedona (cold, especially coming from LA).

I wanted to accomplish a half marathon that day and I was going to make it happen! Otherwise, I would have gotten up at 2 AM for nothing! It was a good decision because after the race I drove to Organ Pipe National Monument to camp and explore and met one of the most special friends that I have right now. Even though you think something isn’t working out how you want, don’t focus on that. Reroute your focus, change your goals, and succeed…kind of like the average workday, right?!

How has it changed you?

It has helped me realize I’m stronger than I thought. Some of these things may have seemed beyond my capability until I was in the moment working through it. I’m not good at asking for help in my personal life but doing adventures solo has allowed me to practice that. I’ve asked strangers for lots of help over the years and not one person has denied me help and not one person expected anything in return even if I tried to give them money. A stranger has fed me, a stranger has towed my car out of a ditch, a stranger has helped me put up my tent so I have shelter, a stranger has helped me find my way either literally with directions or with life advice..and the best part is, some of those strangers are now great friends!

I also find myself not even thinking about helping or doing nice things for others when I am in the situation to do so. I think about the help I’ve been given often and it’s nice to put that back out into the world when I can.

What has surprised you the most?

The way people treat you when you’re alone. When I went on the cruise alone I got weird looks when I would go to dinner or events alone, extra special service (which I won’t lie, was nice!), and just surprised exclamations that no one would be joining me even though I would say “just me!” with a smile and hold up my book. A couple I made friends with said they thought that maybe I was going through some tragic life event like a divorce. It made me realize that a lot of people are so uncomfortable with their own company, that they need to have a reason to be seen alone. This was a while ago and I think it has changed since then which I am happy to see.

If I’m on a camping or hiking adventure a lot of people exclaim how brave I am for doing it alone and I feel like they tend to watch out for me. It has been surprising to see just how caring people actually are. I remember one couple returned my mace that fell out of my backpack at some point and I had no idea. They asked if I had mace which was really weird (thank goodness it was daytime!) and when I realized it was gone they presented it to me and said that I was the only one they’ve seen alone so they figured it was mine. It restores my faith in the world that we live in a society where people watch out and are concerned for one another 🙂

We are so glad to have caught up with KJ between adventures.

It seems like her relationship with nature helps her find and connect with humanity in the world. We LOVE and are inspired by her story and can’t wait to get outside and look for the good in the world.

How has it changed you?

What has surprised you the most?

We are so glad to have caught up with KJ between adventures.

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Abigail Spanberger

August 31, 2018October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

We have a new story of transformation, empowerment, and moxie today as we continue our “How Did You Get Here?” series. If you live in Virginia’s 7th Congressional District, the name of today’s guest may be a familiar one. If you’re watching the congressional races across the country featuring strong women then there is a good chance you are familiar too. Today, we are happy to talk with Abigail Spanberger and ask her, “How did you get here?”

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I am running for Congress, I live in Henrico County, I’m married, a mom to three girls, and I’m a Girls Scout leader. I am running for Congress because I really truly believe, particularly at this point in history, that we need people in Washington who are committed to understanding the issues facing the people in their districts, communities, and focused on trying to fix the problems facing our country. For me, this is my community. This is where I grew up. This is where I moved back to in order to raise my girls by family. For me, this race is incredibly personal for the fact that I don’t I see that same commitment to this community from our current representation. I have always been focused on public service and being engaged in my community. First, it was as a Federal law enforcement officer, then it was as a CIA operative. Now that I am in a public space running for office, it is a departure from my previous experiences.

How did you get started on your journey?

It has been an evolution towards this. I started considering how I could get more politically involved. Then it was how could I get more involved in advocating for things important to me. Then this evolved into “would I ever considering running for something down the road”. Ultimately it became a little more immediate of a thing that I had decided to run. I never really thought I would be in this place where I would be running for Congress.

What has been the most interesting thing?

Actually being able to interact with different communities and groups across the district, particularly those that I would have never been invited to enter or otherwise aware. Some of these may be a cultural community or organizational community, particularly those outside of the county where I live. Going to small festivals in places that I would never have previously known were happening. Being able to experience all these different communities has been an unexpected benefit and so rewarding.

What is the most rewarding thing about your whole process?

Seeing the excitement people have when they realize that they can have an impact on the changes they want to see. People coming to the conclusion that they can advocate for something different and learn that they can make it happen. Watching people come to this realization when we won the primary and then seeing people celebrate the success of what they wanted. While I am the candidate, I am only a piece of the larger pie, a piece of the group of people in this district that want to see something different. There are many people who are putting their time into making this it happen. There is so much commitment on the part of so many people all the way from Culpeper to Nottoway, they are the people that make this campaign possible. This has been so humbling.

You have done some interesting things through being a federal agent and CIA operative. Do you feel that they have prepared you for this or is it vastly different?

They are vastly different, but in many ways, they have prepared me. The skills I learned as both a federal agent and CIA officer were that every day was different and that you had to be prepared for anything. You have to be quick on your feet. You have to be responsive, but not reactive. While I wouldn’t have thought that being a CIA case officer was very similar to running for office because they’re not the same at all. In one, you’re trying to fly under everyone’s radar, and on the other side, you’re announcing yourself as you walk into a room. But the disposition that it requires, and the level of calm attention to detail while being very responsive is a very transferable skill.

Working through your journey that has gotten you to this point, what was the most challenging part?

I think it has been making a final decision towards something. While I was with the CIA I LOVED my career with the CIA, but ultimately with my family, we decided we wanted something different, and wanted to move back to Virginia. I had to work through the decision to leave my job and leaving a career and a calling that I loved. I then had to pivot to something new that was generally unknown. Once I got here and established a life in the private sector in a job that I really enjoyed, I then took the next step to leave all of that to run for office. This has all lead to what is basically a year-and-a-half-long job interview that may or may not go well for you. Taking each step and leaving the comfort of something I really loved to a place I believed would be the next step on my path without knowing. I was taking a step towards something when I didn’t know one end from the other. The most challenging is the second guessing if I’m doing the right thing.

What would you say you have you learned the most?

That I can only control what it is that I do, what our team does, and what we are focused on. I can anticipate, I can prepare for, but I can only control what we do.

What advice would you give someone who decided to set out on this journey?

You have to be 100% in it. You have to be totally driven to achieve a goal. It is a goal that will be shared with the people who are helping you and people who are volunteering. I would never have imagined when I launched this campaign that we would have all these volunteers. Really, truly, fundamentally understand why you’re doing it and what you’re doing it for, because the more you can articulate that through your action and words the more people who want to advocate for that same purpose will want to join your efforts. While I didn’t realize it at the time, the reason we have been successful is we have made it accessible to people who want to be involved in politics in this district and want to change representation in this district. You can never anticipate what it’s going to be, but be ready for the rollercoaster of it. As long as you know why you’re doing it, and stay focused on that piece of it it’s going to be really exciting. It’s 100% worth it.

What has changed you going through all of this that’s brought you to this point?

What has changed me or what has changed in me?

Yes…

What has changed me is that I am now in this place that I now get a lot of unsolicited advice and criticism. This has been a learning experience for me. I can generally handle constructive criticism pretty well, so overall it has been a positive impact. Being aware of all of the opinions that come at you from different sides and recognizing that in every nugget of suggestion or criticism there is room for you to improve or make things better. I think I’ve honed and shaped who I am as a candidate because of all of this feedback.

What has surprised you?

There are people who from the beginning of the campaign, conceivably a year-and-a-half before I would even be in Congress, have been telling me their concerns. They have been sharing with me their personal stories because there is a hope. A hope that if I make it through the primary, then if I became the nominee, then if I were to win, and then get sworn in in January, that at some time later I could be available later to address their concern. The fact that people would share really personal stories because I’m the closest thing to rectifying a situation in their life. This is really astounding. What this has taught me is that people really want and need people who listen to them and want to understand the challenges they face. There is a real disconnect between the people who live in this neighborhood or county from with those actually legislating. They have an impact on their lives without an inkling of the challenge the community members are facing on a daily basis. That’s been the most surprising. How many people are willing to share, because they hope it can inform something productive you can do a year-and-a-half later.

As a mom to three girls, what do you hope for the girls in our country?

I would like for young girls to be nurtured and encouraged by what they see and by the way people react to them that they can do anything. Regardless of what interests them, it shouldn’t be interesting that a mom is running for Congress. It’s not interesting when a dad runs for Congress. They have the same opportunity. An opportunity to take a path or not, whether it’s a really uncommon path or the common path. That’s what’s most important to me, that we can find ourselves in a place in the future where it’s not so noteworthy that there are so many women running for Congress. That this is just normal. And it still may be a crazy idea for some young women, but for others, it’s simply the path they want to pursue. Just like for some men. For some it’s crazy, and others it’s just the path they want to take. I think we have grown, but there is still a lot of space between where we are and where we could be. The way we’re going to get there is by people clearing that path so it’s less uncharted and less scary.

Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us Abigail.

If you’re interested in learning more about Abigail in her campaign, check out her website or connect with her on social media (Facebook, Instagram, twitter).

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Carrie Grace

July 30, 2018October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

We have a new story of transformation, empowerment and moxie today as we continue our How Did You Get Here Series. Today, we’d like to introduce you to Carrie Grace. Some of you may follow her on Instagram, and if you’re not following her we recommend it. She is a ray of sunshine in the a sea of selfies and negativity. Perhaps you were lucky enough to have received or have been gifted her Kindness Box. These are no longer available for sale, BUT she does have something new on the horizon. Carrie is a former teacher turned motivational speaker, who is on a mission to inspire others to spread joy and kindness, in hopes of people making the world better than they found it. She believes that no act of kindness is too small or ever wasted. She currently travels the country to inspire others and has she’s been featured on major media including USA Today, Huffington Post, His Radio, and many more. Carrie stays busy encouraging us all to push through our fear of rejection, but we are most thankful she made time for us this week.

Make people feel golden. 💛

What is the most rewarding thing about your venture?

To be honest, it’s the people. I’ve had the chance to interact with so many different people, and to hear their stores…lots of different people. I love the storytelling aspect of this, hearing what others have to share. It’s always been about the people.

How and why did you start your journey?

I am not someone who thought I would have a career as motivation speaking or who particularly enjoyed public speaking. My journey into this career began when I was invited to speak at my friend Lara Casey’s Making Things Happen Conference in 2014. If I’m honest about this, I hated it. Not the conference, but the speaking part. I loved being the one welcoming the attendees. Forming relationships with those attending was the best for me, but one day, Lara said that I needed to be a speaker. She said I had something to share and I had to get comfortable being the one speaking. It was after this experience that I realized I had to have a mindset shift about making speaking a career. After having opportunities speaking, I had people telling me that I could make a career doing this, but at first it wasn’t profitable. Initially, I was bartering and trading things for my time speaking. BUT trading things doesn’t pay the bills! I had others encourage me to find people with a budget to pay me to be their speaker. It was after this that I began reaching out to various groups and businesses to be the speaker for their events and training programs.

"So grateful for the new friends made these past few days at #mthconference. Truly life changing. Thank you!" – @jodiemore We know for a fact that the people you meet and the friends you make at the #MTHConference are life-changing, and we absolutely love hearing stories about the genuine friendships that have stemmed from the Making Things Happen Conference! Deep, authentic friendships can change lives and businesses, and we're so encouraged by the relationships that begin here! Will you be joining us? Just a few days left to take advantage of our Early-Bird Rate! Take nearly 50% off your ticket to MTH at the link in our profile.

What was the most challenging part?

I’m thinking it’s finding the right events. Being my own marketer. Keeping up with the travel. Right now it’s been in the United States, but it’s expanding to Canada later this year.

What have you learned?

Everything. I went from products to service, and it’s a totally different world. Figuring it all out. I’ve made some mistakes along the way. I’ve had some speaking engagements where afterwards you say, “hmmm, that wasn’t my best.” There’s always a learning curve.. It’s can be scary. There are days that I want to quit, but it all comes back to the people. You get to have an impact telling a story and people continually find a point they can relate to and grow.

What advice would you give someone else on this path?

If you don’t have a risk-taking in your blood, it’s very hard to do. You have to be good at rejection. That’s why I speak on rejection. It’s not about who you know, it’s more about your willingness to know someone. Are you willing to send that email? Are you willing to pick up that phone? My mind is wired that way, maybe to a fault. I know that not everyone is like that, as we tend to think we can’t do it.

How has it changed you?

This is not what I expected my life would look like. For me, it’s what I’m proving to myself. In the beginning, I gave a commencement speech in front of a thousand people with a cap and gown on. Once I did that, I think it made it easier to be honest when I’m speaking. I went real big, real fast. Never in my life have I been in front of that many people. There’s nothing that can prepare you for that, but it’s probably one of my top ten favorite moments. I can sit here and say, “Gosh, I did that.” Even if it wasn’t my best or if you could tell l I was nervous, I can say that I did it. Not only did I do it, but I got up there, I didn’t run, I didn’t throw up, I didn’t trip. I can do hard things.

What has surprised you the most?

Honestly, I’m surprised that people have a lack of faith in humanity. I’m amazed that people have such low expectations. The world isn’t great right now, I get that, so their view is skewed that the world is out to get them.

Community makes your burdens lighter and your triumphs feel more celebrated. I got a ton of DMs when I shared about hosting people in my house every month. I moved a city over and further away from my friend group. I remember crying a ton last November because I felt so isolated. Don't we all at some point?! So, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I took an action step. I posted in a few local fb groups and asked if people wanted to meet monthly at my house to discuss business and life. There were no requirements and no one got turned away. It is a come as you are group, and surprisingly a lot of people felt the same as me. So now every month 35+ women come to my house. We laugh, we cry, and we cheer each other on fiercely! So if you are feeling alone or isolated, be the invitation. Buy flowers for someone who needs a pick me upper. Text people and check in. And love people with all you got because we need each other.

Anything else you’d like to share?

Don’t give up until you have heard one hundred ‘no’s’. That’s really hard. Don’t stop going after things until you’ve got a hundred, then take a break. Sometimes after two no’s we’ll give up, go sit in the corner, and cry.

I always tell people there are two kinds of people in the world. One is the person who only sees the finish line. The other is the one who only sees the obstacles in the way of the finish line. If you cannot train your brain to see just the finish line, you will stop at the second obstacle you encounter. There will always be obstacles. You won’t make it to the finish line if you don’t have the stamina to keep going up hill…If you cannot keep your eyes on the finish line, you might still get there, but it’s going to be a much harder thing. Sometimes you have to take a detour to get to the finish line. People tend to focus so hard on being in the race, that their eyes aren’t on the finish line, so the second their eyes come off the second it becomes really hard.

You start small. I’m a runner, and run about 90 miles a month. 3 miles a day isn’t hard, because if you do something everyday, it adds up.If you send 3 emails a day, you’ll send 90 by the end of the month. Out of those 90, someone is probably going to say yes. AND you haven’t even hit 100. We like to think it’s all or nothing, but I like to look for opportunities of all kinds.

Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us Carrie.

If you’re interested in learning more about her, you should check out her website, follow her on social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter), and/or subscribe to her newsletter. If you’re looking for a speaker for your business or school, consider bringing Carrie in to talk about empathy. Did you know that empathy is one of the most important skills we can learn? Empathy teaches us to cherish our humanity and value one another. We develop better relationships through empathy, not just with our family and friends, but with our co-workers and everyone with whom we come in contact. If we can be more empathetic, we can have better customer service, better work relationships, and stronger leaders. Sounds like a win right?

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How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Kelli Lemon

June 29, 2018October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

We are beginning a new series here on The91Rewind. We are bringing you stories of transformation, empowerment, and moxie. Today we have the opportunity share the story of Kelli Lemon, whom you may know as likethefruit on Instagram. This woman wears MANY hats and has exciting things on the horizon! You can find her around Richmond, VA interviewing folks for Coffee With Strangers RVA, hosting events, and soon you’ll catch her at the Urban Hang Suite. (If you don’t know Kelli yet, we are delighted to introduce her to you today.)

1. So we know that you’re involved with the podcast and co-founded Richmond Black Restaurant week, but is that all?

That’s not all, but the funny thing is none of this was ever part of the plan. I did one thing, and suddenly someone saw me and called me to do more stuff. Great example is that I’m the weekend “on air” personality for Radio One Richmond (iPower 91.2 and KISS), but this kinda just happened. I was working at VCU and doing sideline broadcasting for basketball. One day Jeff Anderson tracked me down through the VCU directory to talk to me about being on the radio. Nine years later and here I am STILL. Now because of this, (and some other things), I get asked to host events all over. I make sure that I only agree to host at events that I would actually attend (Event for 20-somethings? Nope, I don’t know what a 21 year old wants.).

The podcast happened because I serve on the board for the Salvation Army Boys and Girls Club. We do a lot of events to get the kids connected, and one of the guys on the board, Matt Pochily (producer of the podcast), said he seen a show I did on NBC12 called RVA Grooves. I think we can do something with that like a podcast. We started talking about what this would look like, and I said, “So you want me to just have coffee with strangers?” Then we had a name, and the rest is history.

Wow. I remember calling @ryank_letsmotivate and saying…."Yo.. We're doing this podcast thing for fun and I NEED you to be our first guest!" He didn't hesitate. Thanks Ryan for kick starting something that has become SO RICHMOND! *Fun fact – Ryan has on a Biggie shirt cause we taped this on March 9th 🙌🏽 Happy 3rd anniversary @mattpooch @mcqueen_of_hearts @candidcompositions #CoffeeWithStrangers #Repost @rvastranger You guys!!! 3 years! 3 years ago today we dropped episode 1 of #CWSRVA with Ryan Kopacsi and this week's episode with @amyblacktattoos was number 96! Thank y'all for the amazing support! HUGE shoutout to @feathermurden, @murden & @popsongrace for believing in us and letting us drink their coffee! So…. WHO SHOULD BE THE 100TH STRANGER?

2. So let’s get this straight, you’re on the radio, doing the podcast, co-running Richmond Black Restaurant Week, doing events, and opening the Urban Hang Suite. Is that it?

Well when you say it like that, it does sound like a lot. Everything I’m doing is with other people, except The Urban Hang Suite. I co-founded Richmond Black Restaurant week with Shamika Bellwood and Amy Wentz. Coffee Strangers is with Matt Pochilly. The events around town are DJ Lonnie B and I together, but some are ones he’s created and some we’ve been asked to do together. Like the Art of Noise is something he created, but we always do it together. We have other events like hip hop bingo that we’ve come with by asking ourselves, “What is our age group missing?” and then we do it. Then there’s Urban Hang Suite which will open later this year, and that’s the one that is all mine.

3. You’re doing lots of great things around Richmond! What is the most rewarding thing about your venture?

It’s definitely helping people.

Helping people find their happy, their greatness, or what it is they want to do. The word I keep hearing from people is that….

Transparency is a big part of this. People expect you to be happy all the time, but I’m not and I try to be honest about it. I’m honest and open about suffering from depression. It’s challenging. You smile through it. You know that this too shall pass. Thankfully I have a great support system: my therapist, my friends, my village. They are there to pick me up. People like to say I have the luckiest job in the world and that I get to do the cool stuff. But they brush off the fact that I’m working, even if it’s a fun event. They get to come, have fun, and go home early; but I’m there after they’re gone, often until 1:00 AM. All that to say, it is work, but it’s not completely work when I love what I do.

3. Authenticity is important to us on The91Rewind and you seem to be living that out. What would you say has been the most challenging part of your journey?

I try to tell the real story, Good and bad, and not hide anything. But because I’m media and very much seen, I sometimes I have to bite my tongue when I don’t want to. What I have learned from a business standpoint, is that I won’t agree to do things I don’t believe in. But media, they just want you to get the information out there; they don’t want your opinion. When something is dead ass wrong I just want to say it, but I have to hold that back. If people are saying something that is wrong, you want to speak up. Thankfully I have a village that I send stuff to to get their feedback or support to determine how to respond.

HEY YOU!!! Do me a favor…. Piss a lot of people off with your DOPENESS today! Okay!!!! #MoodForLife SN: Shout out to @styleweekly for featuring me along with some other #DopeAndDifferent #RVA women as Social Media Influencers! #WCW on stand now! AND.. Tickets for the #MLK #AONRVA go on sale Friday and Y'all know that's my 42nd B Day Weekend! Check out my IG stories for more info! #KelliLemon #LiveRICHmond 📸 @mcqueen_of_hearts #IWontDieWithMyDreams

4. What has surprised you the most?

The need for these things. We never would have started Richmond Black Restaurant Week if it wasn’t needed. I never would have created any of these unique opportunities for my age group if they were not needed.

Coffee with Strangers is our social outlet, but it’s also a chance to be nosy and see what people are doing. It’s still needed because people have said they’ve moved to Richmond because of it. They’ve said they can see themselves reflected in the lives of the strangers. There are cities more advanced than us, but people are choosing RVA!

The other surprising part is how people feel about me. People really feel like they know me. It’s scary sometimes. They hold me at a high level, but I’m just Kelli. People will use the term local celebrity, but I hate it, I’m just a local that happens to know a lot of people.

5. Take us back to the moment you decided to embark on this journey. Let’s focus on your baby, The Urban Hang Suite. Why did you start this?

It’s funny you ask this, because I was just thinking about this. It started when I was sitting in Mama J’s…

I had left my job at VCU to go work there. People thought I was crazy to leave a good paying state job, but I knew I wanted to be in the hospitality business. I love the entertaining part of it. When I was burnt out from the restaurant part of things, I knew I wanted to do something that would stimulate the social part of me. People would come into Mama J’s and sit for hours because they have no other place to go. People will call and want to know where I am or where I was going because they just wanted to kick back. In the midst of that, Coffee with Strangers was really picking up, and I was beginning to appreciate coffee. I was also seeing what the coffee shop environment can bring people together. Then I started looking at the things I had done in previous jobs and what I loved about them. Four things stuck out: I am socially connecting people through food, sports, arts, and educations. These are the things I’m good at and getting the conversations to happen so people will talk. I needed to create a place where people can connect.

The premise of The Urban Hang Suite is that I wanted a place where people could catch this “grab and go” vibe. If you only have 20 minutes but you want to see what’s going on, come in, and then go. If you have time to chill, come sit down in the back and hang out. The front of the space will be like a Starbucks on steroids, and the back of the space will have music, sports, games,

The place is for the creatives, the introverts that want to be near people but still have a corner to be safe. There will be some structure with planned events, but I want most of it to be organic. Selling culture in a cup: coffee + connections + culture. These are my main three focuses. We are setting this vibe where people didn’t think it could happen, but everyone is welcome. For example, special needs that are hanging out nearby, blue collar worker who takes the bus to work for an hour each day, the politician, educator, lawyer or person needing a space to hangout, all commingling. This spot is for everyone and THAT is something I gotta make sure I feel and see. This area is changing, and I want to see us create a downtown city culture that gives you a place to sneak into.

Late nights and early mornings on Broad. #CountdowntotheUHS @urbanhangsuiterva #KelliLemon #LiveRICHmond #DopeAndDifferent 📷 @iamraymondhawkes

We are excited to come hang out at The Urban Hang Suite. When can we come get a little culture-in-a-cup?

My goal is to be open by 8.04.2018 because that is RVA day. This will be a soft opening, and we hope to be open for real in September. The Urban Hang Suite is a Virginia place. I hope that 80% of everything purchased or sold in The Urban Hang Suite will be from Virginia. I’m trying my hardest to be loyal to local. Local artists will do the art in the space and we’ll be open for first Fridays. I’m looking forward to seeing the connections people make here.

Cheers Humans! Y'all rock the shit out of this week!!!! It's definitely gonna be a DOPE one!! #KelliLemon #CoffeeWithStrangers #VirginiaisforLovers 📸 @mcqueen_of_hearts

Thank you for allowing us to interview you Kelli!

We hope you enjoyed getting know this awesome Richmonder. If you are fortunate enough to already know her, we hope you learned something new. Either way, we hope you’ll checkout The Urban Hang Suite when it opens. Iin the meantime give it a follow on instagram so you can keep up with the progress (the counter and back-splash are awesome)!