i have a confession

Dear March 2020

Dear March 2020,

I started the month with high hopes and expectations. I had spent months preparing for a system conversion, worked crazy hours the first week and half of the month, and was preparing to get back to normal. Little did i know, that life was about to change dramatically. On March 13th I found out that my oldest daughter’s school system was closing for two weeks. I naively thought this would be short-lived. As we all know too well, what we thought would be a brief period at home, turned into a year. A year that has looked like nothing we’ve ever seen before.

The last year has not been the best. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months without seeing or touching the people we love. We have seen friends and family suffer, and in some cases, die from Covid-19. We have watched as loved ones get laid off and businesses close as our economy struggles under the weight of the pandemic. The list goes on about what has been terrible, bad, or not that great for the last year.

BUT I would argue that the last year has had some redeeming attributes. Please allow me to share the goodness I have found in the last year…

  1. I am grateful for a slower pace. We all know that we need to slow down or we’ll fall down, and I feel like 2020 made us all do that without apologies or regrets.

  2. Extra time with my children to observe firsthand their growth, learning, and experience with school. The window into their day(s) has been amazing. I’m in awe of how my oldest is as a student, and how my youngest is learning how to be a good peer among her classmates.

  3. Soft Pants – Working from home means that a work mullet (business on the top, soft pants or no pants on the bottom) is totally acceptable, as long as my appearance in view of the camera is professional. No one needs to know or see what’s below my desk, but my supervisor can rest assured there are always pants on.

  4. Getting outside (almost) every day has been so good for my soul. In 2019 I read the book There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather by Linda Åkeson McGurk with the hopes of making it a way of life. It took a pandemic to make it happen, but I’m committed. Raining outside? Put on a raincoat, some wellies, and get to puddle jumping. Cold outside? Put on a thick coat, a hat, some gloves, and get to walking. Hot outside? Put on some shorts, a t-shirt, some sunscreen, some sunglasses, and stroll.

  5. A deeper appreciation of making choices for the greater good. Growing up as a Japanese American, there was the recurring phrase “a good Japanese daughter wouldn’t ____.” As an adolescent, this was an infuriating thing for my mom to say, but she wasn’t wrong. Sometimes you have to make choices that are for the good of others not just yourself. So I will wear my mask, get my vaccine (soon!), maintain 6’ of social distance, and (im)patiently wait until I can see all the people I have missed.

I will say it again…
The last year may not have been the best, BUT I would argue that the last year has had some redeeming attributes. While some may want to rush back to the way things were before, I’m going to lean into the good things I’ve loved this last year. What lessons have you learned in the last year?

xoxo,
C


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i have a confession

I have a confession…

Spring is here and there are signs of new life everywhere we turn. The trees are more green as their leaves return, flowers are in bloom, and fun outdoor events fill our calendars. In this season of newness, we would like to share something fresh with you: it’s a brand new series called, “I have a confession.”

What are we confessing?

Sometimes we feel pressure to conform or align with what is popular or hide it when we don’t. Occasionally, we attempt to hold on to something we would rather get off our chest. Whether you’re going against the grain, or you just need to sound off about something, it can feel good to get rid of that nagging guilt, shame, or confusion…We are here to invite you to reveal your truths. Silly, serious, large or small, we want to hear them all!

We’ll go first.

I, Erica, have a confession…

At the risk of making myself into a pariah, I have to admit that do not like Chicago-style pizza. Don’t get me wrong, deep-dish, cheesy, carby, goodness is usually up my alley. I tried it, I wanted to love it, but it just fell flat. I don’t blame Chicagoans or their pizza, though. In my heart i realize that this savory dish needs the spice of Italian meats! Try as they might, vegetarian varieties just aren’t as flavorful. There. I said it. And phew, don’t I feel better!

I, Crystal, have a confession…

I am a Christian, and I cuss a little. Well, maybe a lot. Many like to think that those who believe in God are better than that and don’t cuss, but I for one am not that person. I also have more Christian friends than I can count on two hands that cuss too. I won’t out them, because that’s their confession to make. BUT let’s just say, being a Christian doesn’t preclude you from dropping the “f” bomb, yelling “oh shit” when something goes wrong, or a declarative “dammit” of exasperation.

I’ll never forget meeting a friend of my husband’s when we were first dating. This friend had already learned that I was in seminary (or as my husband jokingly called “Jesus School”), and wasn’t phased by it since he had grown up Baptist. We had a great afternoon/evening hanging out as a group, but then we had a moment. At some point in the evening, the friend dropped something and things went a little like this…

Friend: OH SHIT! Oh, no. I’m so sorry.
Me: What are you sorry for?
Friend: I cussed, and you’re in school to be a pastor.
Me: You do know who I’m dating right?
Friend: Of course, I do.
Me: He cusses like a sailor.
Friend: Yeah, but you’re going to be a PASTOR.
Me: Seriously, it’s cool. Shit. Damn. Fuck. Do you feel better now?
Friend: *sighs* YES!

I have plenty of people who are afraid to cuss around me because I believe in Jesus, but I’m pretty sure he cussed too. The Bible had its own editors who told us what they wanted in their stories, but I’m pretty sure Jesus cussed when he overturned the tables in the temple or got frustrated with the dopey disciples in the Gospel of Mark.

Have something you want to share?

If so, drop us a line here. These confessions can help us let go and move forward, leaving the shame and the guilt behind. You took an extra complimentary cookie at Harris Teeter? Tell us about it. You secretly wish your mother-in-law would wax her upper lip? Let us know! You have a smelly cubicle mate? It’s safe to speak freely here.

If you’re willing to share your confessions on the blog, let us know in your submission. Each of us is different in how we want share things, some are more open and others maybe not. You are more than welcome to confess publicly; our blog is a safe space for you to be your authentically amazing and imperfect self. If you would prefer to share anonymously, and we fully respect that. Either is okay with us! Your confession, your choice.

We do have one disclaimer to add. While we fully support the airing of grievances, we have ethical responsibilities to our readership and fellow humans. If your confession involves criminal activity, don’t tell us. Tell the authorities! If you have caused irreparable pain to someone else, this may not be the venue for your confession.

These confessions can be an opportunity to apologize or voice regret for regrettable choices and actions, just not criminal ones.

Thank you for hearing our confession and we cannot wait to hear yours.

C+E