taking care

doesn’t manage time wisely

I can remember my first report card from elementary school. Many of the remarks on it are still true today, but one in particular, stands out…


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Ah yes. It seems I have always had difficulty managing the amount of “things” needing to be done in a given amount of time. As many will tell you, I’m typically 2-5 minutes late to any given event. I really don’t like this about myself, but I have learned to manage this, perhaps, better than the time itself.

Maybe it’s a gross underestimate of time, maybe it is an endless desire to be optimistic in what I accomplish, or maybe it’s just some part of my brain that’s completely missing. I always seem to be running out of time. Does anyone else feel this way?

What’s to be done about it? Not much. In fact, I would say that exactly nothing can be done about the time. The time is going to do what it is going to do. We can’t change it’s cadence, we can’t stop it, and we can’t get any more once we’ve spent it. Like an arrow, time is only traveling forward.

This brings me back to my report card and the idea of time management. If time is constant, then we can’t control it. We have to accept it and work within its confines, right? So, we can’t really manage the time, now can we?

I was listening to a radio show the other day, Geet Bazaar, on WKNC 88.1 (the BEST radio station in Raleigh) and one of the hosts was talking about time management. As an accomplished professor, she is constantly asked for tips about managing time and becoming more productive. She said she would answer everyone’s questions, once and for all: “You cannot manage time. You can only manage yourself…”

It was like I had been thumped in the forehead. The speakers on the radio went on, discussing how we can only control our own behavior, and that we have to make good decisions with our use of time–each analogy more illustrative and resonating than the last. But, that initial statement, so profound and bold. It stays with me today.

Admittedly, it is empowering to know that we are in command of our behavior. We can choose our actions and reactions. We choose how we live our lives, erego, how we spend our time. If you think about it, we can never really know how much time we are going to have…Maybe we should find it a little more precious.

Like my dear friend Crystal said last week, it can’t all be important. Let your heart tell you what is. Let’s be a little more choosey, a little more frugal with our time. After all, we can only spend it once and there is a strict no-return policy.

Namaste,

E

 

taking care

Progress

Progress. It’s a fickle thing. It can take years of momentum to accomplish just a kernel. It can also seem like it happened overnight. Sometimes things are moving along  just fine, and  suddenly they grind to a halt. Progress can be measured/noticed/recognized in many ways, but I’m convinced you have to look to find it. You have to check in with yourself a bit to process what has happened and decide what to do next. 

After some underwhelming race finishes a couple years ago, I found myself asking that very question-“what now?” I had completed my fall running events, but didn’t achieve the personal records I had envisioned.  I was pretty bummed out. I trained harder than ever before-I even tried a new training plan with wan additional day of running! I had the time in my schedule to add the extra day, and I was sure it would increase my speed.

A friend of mine, who is a registered dietitian and power lifting coach and marathoner, explained that I had probably under-performed at my events because I was over training and to continue would likely wind up with me getting injured. How could that be? I know people who run twice as much I do on a weekly basis! What she said next really threw me for a loop; “training for any event is deeply individualized, and it’s likely you were just not physically ready for the mileage increase in that particular plan.” 

I completed the training, but when race day came I was broken down instead of refreshed. She told me quite simply that if I wanted to run more, I was going to have to  focus my efforts, eliminate some other workouts, and be willing to build mileage slowly over time.   

Have I mentioned how impatient I am? The idea of doing anything slowly over time just seems like drudgery. However disappointing this news was, I had to face the facts. My method had not yielded the results I wanted. I was more focused on the outcome than I was on the path to achieve it. I wanted to break my record from the previous year and was willing to try anything to make it happen. I got caught up.

Flashback to my fifth grade teacher and her famous saying:


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I hadn’t failed to plan, my plan had failed. Was I a failure? Surely not. I was disappointed, but I was also motivated to find a better plan. 

Failing to plan is not limited to the absence of a plan. It can also mean following the wrong plan, or having too small a plan for the scope, or over planning. I don’t really like this saying now that I think about it. There are a million ways to fail with or without a plan, but most of the time you don’t really know until the end.

We cannot avoid trying something because we don’t have a perfect plan. We should plan to fail, in fact.  When something doesn’t work, we can learn from it and make better choices the next time. Even a failure can lead to doing better in the future.

I want to go back to my fifth grade teacher and tell her to stop giving the kids anxiety. Failure is not a bad thing! Failing as fast as possible can be viewed as a path to breakthrough success. We should change the saying to something a bit more inspiring: 


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It gets me thinking about how many times I have tried something new and felt disappointed. Maybe that wasn’t a result of not working hard enough, maybe the let down was inevitable because of a flaw in the plan. Disappointment, like failure, is not a bad thing necessarily. The fact that one has an opinion, good or bad, on the outcome of an event shows an investment. (If we don’t care at all about something it’s easy to let it go.) Disappointment can drive us to make huge leaps forward. 

After we experience a setback in life we are faced with two choices – we can give up, or we can regroup and try again. While giving up is an option, in my opinion it isn’t the best one. If you give up every time you hit a wall, you’ll just be left with a long list of limitations.

If you want to learn something, if you want to experience progress, you have to be willing to screw up a little. You have to go for it despite not knowing exactly how or what to do and possibly fail. We will never be able to know in advance if the plan will work. We’ve got to be willing to try it anyway. 

If it doesn’t work out, at least you know that it doesn’t work out. You have knowledge and experience, and THAT my friends, is progress!