The91Rewind

Just keep showing up

May 17, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

The a-MAY-zing run streak is still going, but…

it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been running a few times a week for years now, but this whole running-every-day thing is quite an experience. I’m finding out that this challenge is more mental and less about exercise or burning calories or anything else. Why is it so hard? Well, because there’s only one way to do something every day. And that is to simply do it. To decide, no matter what, to …

There have been a few days were I ran around the neighborhood in the dark. There were days that running one little mile seemed like a marathon. For some reason, every day I complete my goal (to run for at least 10 minutes or 1 mile), I feel a tiny victory. Each little success gets me excited to keep pushing forward.

I absolutely LOVE making lists and checking boxes, y’all. I am BEYOND thrilled to have 16 (at the time of this writing…I know it’s day 17 but I haven’t gone for my run yet today!) little check marks to show for my efforts. I wonder how many more I will rack up as the streak goes on.

This whole experiment has me marinating on what it means to be accountable

and how we define commitment. In so many cases we use these words—accountability and commitment, to illustrate how we interact with and support other people. We want people to be accountable for their actions and honor commitments. Not just talk, follow through. Sincerity and integrity foster trust.

When people do what they say they will do, we can rely on them. When people follow through on a promise, we can have confidence in what they say next time. We feel warm and fuzzy when we can trust people; it is a beautiful thing and helps to deepen our relationships. Conversely, when people are flaky, it makes us feel not so good.

What about our relationship with ourselves?

The way we treat ourselves informs the way we treat other people. We may not like to think of it that way, but it’s a fact. So how do you practice accountability? How do you manage commitments you’ve made to yourself?

Often times we are tempted to blow things off when no one is looking. The more we show up for ourselves, the more confidence we build. By doing what we said we would do, even when no one is watching, we empower ourselves. We learn to trust in our own abilities and our confidence grows.

I couldn’t agree more. First, you have to commit; to decide the thing is worth doing. Second, you must hold yourself accountable. This is where creativity, flexibility, and forgiveness are key because things almost never go as planned. If you can bond these two things; if you can hold yourself accountable to your commitments, results are sure to follow.

When Crystal and I started brainstorming this aMAYzing month we both wanted to try something new and a little out of our comfort zone. I had no idea I would be stepping into such a dramatic transformation. Running every day is teaching me that I am worthy of my OWN investment. It’s helping me to find confidence in myself and my ability to stick to something. The results are over two weeks of checkboxes and for me, that is enough to keep me going. How many will I get? I still don’t know, but I’m going to keep showing up and see what happens.

namaste,

taking care

five minutes may be changing my mind

May 9, 2018April 14, 2023 Crystal Varner Parker

As you read last week, I have a modified goal of trying to follow our old 5 minutes may change your mind challenge. I have routinely struggled with making exercise a priority. I work full-time, I am the mom of a toddler and a four year old, I have a side hustle, and I’m on the go A LOT for work. Can I do this challenge? I’m not sure, but five minutes may be changing my mind…

Day Two:

This day was destined to be a sh*tshow. I had four separate appointments for work, along with an evening event as well. In between the normal workday and the evening event, I needed to pick up my friends daughter from preschool. Afterwards, I needed to pick up my daughters and trade off of kids and vehicles with the Hubs. Turns out he had his work car, which meant there was no room for an extra kiddos…This also meant I wasn’t going to make my evening event. I stayed at dance with all three girls, wearing the toddler on my back in the Ergo carrier. I walked all over the studio, trying to keep all of them entertained while we waited on pictures to happen. Needless to say I did not intentionally exercise, but I’ll count the frantic running everywhere and babywearing as a workout. At least, it felt like one!

Day Three:

I managed to squeeze in a short walk outside in between things at work. Was it much of a walk? No, but it was better than day two.

Day Four:

At 5:33 am I received a text from a friend asking if I wanted to meet up before dinner to squeeze in a walk. She knew about this challenge and wanted to help me stay on track before our dinner with friends. I arrived early for dinner, got the toddler all wrapped on my back, and had the four year old ready to head out with us. Next thing I know everyone starts showing up and beergaritas are getting passed out. I kept the heavy toddler on my back for at least a half hour then, and again for 45 minutes later. I failed to get my walk in, but i’m counting this toddler hauling as my workout.

Day Five:

Today was a FULL day. I had breakfast with my family, met up with some Richmond area moms to dream about Mama Tribe RVA. After that I was off to Bloom, which was hosted by the Richmond Moms Blog. As one of their new contributors and social media manager, I was there the whole time walking around and helping with clean up. For over four hours, I was here, there, and everywhere. All this walking and lifting and clean was absolutely a workout. After it was done, all I wanted was rest and time with my babies.

Day Six:

I don’t know what happened. Church, restless kids, a little housework and an evening meal later…Suddenly, it was 9pm! Day six came and went without a workout, but I found myself missing it. I knew I didn’t get it in and was frustrated. That’s something, right?

It is the final day of week one, and I got a solid twenty minute wal in. This may be my best day of the challenge thus far. I kept both kids in the stroller, which meant I was walking and pushing that almost 60 pounds. I actually looked forward to AND enjoyed my workout today. so I’m calling this a win.

Recap…

So, did I complete my 5 minute workout streak for the first week of May? No, I had one day that was barely passable and another where I didn’t complete my workout at all. Technically this may have been a fail, BUT it was a learning experience. I’ve realized that I enjoy taking time each day to get up and be active, BUT it’s hard to make this a priority. The good news is that I’m going to stick with it and see if I can’t make week 2 a little better. Am I going to beat myself up over how week one went? Hell NO! Am I aiming to do better during week two? HELLS YES! Stay tuned!

taking care

five minutes might change my mind

May 3, 2018October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

As you heard on Tuesday, Erica will embark on an aMAYzing challenge this month with a “run streak”; running consecutive days in a row. I think it’s fair to say that we all know that here on the91rewind, Erica is #teamfitlife more than myself. I happen to have a complicated relationship with fitness. I’ve learned over the last few years that exercise calms and centers me, but it’s not something I particularly enjoy doing. Since that’s the case, I broke out an old post (five minutes MAY change your mind) from a couple of years ago in an effort to bring fitness back into my life. At this moment, I have my doubts, but I’m hopeful that five minutes MIGHT change my mind.

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Ever since I was a kid I stayed active doing things…

I would spend as many days as my uncle would allow swimming in his pool. In elementary school I had a brief stint cheerleading, to which Erica was a witness. Not many people are witnesses to those days, and I’m forever grateful. As most Asian kids will attest, I was forced told I would do martial arts. The days in class were spent having fun with my friends, but I don’t know that I would say I always ENJOYED going.

By high school I found the sports that I enjoyed doing…

I discovered the joy of playing lacrosse and field hockey with a team comprised of girls from various Henrico County public schools. In the midst of playing those sports, I discovered that I may have resented my parents making me do martial arts at first, but looking back now, I actually loved it. I’m forever thankful they pushed me to stick with it.

Despite finding sports I liked there was a limit…

I do not like to sweat. Anything that requires a LOT of sweat is not my cup of tea. This is a ory for another day, but I’ll just say that I do NOT like sweating.

Why does any of this matter?

Erica knows all these things about me. She also know that I want to be healthy so I can live a long life with my kids. To do this, fitness is key. She also knows that I don’t like to lose, so a challenge is good for me. Back when we first shared this challenge I was supposed to participate, but I also found out I was pregnant. I battled morning sickness the ENTIRE first trimester. Last year I wanted to try again, but I had a newborn and was just returning to work. Now this little one is nearly 15 months old and I need to get fitness back in my routine. Maybe I’ll do the full workout, maybe not. Most important of all, I’m getting off my butt for AT LEAST 5 minutes everyday.

Making time for myself while balancing my family (husband, 4 year old, and toddler) won’t be easy. BUT, if I don’t make time for myself who will? I’m hoping 5 minutes will change my mind, and get me doing more, but you’ll have to wait and see…

xoxo,

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taking care

Make it a-MAY-zing!

May 1, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

So it’s May. We are beginning the fifth month of 2018. To some of us it’s like WOW where did the time go? For others it may seem to be dragging along. At this point, spring is in full swing and we are finally coming back to life after a long and strange winter. As the summer draws near, let’s shake off the cold and make this new month a-MAY-zing!

There’s a revitalizing quality about this time of year. The newness of flora and fauna, the longer days, and there is SO MUCH LIGHT! It’s amazing, and if you notice, it energizes people. Look around. People are taking dogs for walks, they are out jogging. They are drinking on porches, dining on patios, and playing cornhole. This time of year is a great “goldilocks” time to take advantage of outdoor activities; it’s not too hot or too cold. It’s just right.

Having that said, I want to invite you to join our 91 Rewind a-MAY-zing Challenge! Crystal and I are going to kick off this month by doing something that scares us a little. We are going to challenge each other to make a new habit. We’ll pick something and try to do it every day for an entire week. After the week, we will report back on the good, the bad, and the ugly. Who knows? May-be we will a-MAY-ze ourselves? (haha I can’t quit with the May puns!)

For the first week of May, I’m going streaking. RUN STREAKING that is. I’ve been hearing a lot about these everyday runners and I’m intrigued. Some people have run every day for multiple years. This astounds me. I mean, I run all the time, but certainly not every day. I’m kind of afraid my legs will fall off, but a dear friend of mine @run_rhea_run gave me a bit of advice on the subject. She said to start small with a short period of time, and check in along the way. Rhea is a streaker, a 4X Boston Marathoner, speed demon, and general badass. She said she started with a week and just kept going with it. Now over four years later, she is still streaking and running stronger every day.

It is nearly impossible for me to imagine running for 1500+ days in a row, but I’m sure Rhea felt that way too when she began. I don’t necessarily have the same expectations for myself, but it’s really cool to see how a small idea can evolve into something really awesome. If you just stick with it and allow yourself to be a part of the process, transformation will occur. She has had good and bad days, but she’s run through them all. Maybe just a mile at a time, maybe slowly, or around an airport terminal, but she just sticks with it. It’s inspiring to see such determination.

So that’s what I’ll do, too. I’m going to run every day for seven days in a row. This is scary because I may not make it through the entire week..I am telling you all about it so feel free to ask me how it’s going. If I do make it through the week, I will have a choice to make on day eight: end the streak or keep going…I have no idea know how this will go, but I’m excited to give it a try.

People say you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time. While we do not advocate or support eating elephants at the 91 Rewind, we do hope you have elephant-sized dreams and goals. We support your efforts in making them a reality and invite you to take a step—or maybe a week’s worth of steps towards making this month A-MAY-ZING! Persistence pays off, so as long as you can get started, your on your way.

P.S. – Crystal is also taking on a challenge for the first seven days of May…stay tuned for her post later this week!

Namaste,

taking care

the gift of receiving

April 26, 2018April 14, 2023 Crystal Varner Parker

I can still remember the day like it was yesterday…

I was four weeks into my motherhood journey of being a mom to two and I had things to do. With my husband at work, I had to fly solo with the parenting. One kid wanted to get out and play, one needed a nap, and still there were groceries to buy. How was I going to get it all done and maintain sanity? I was nervous about managing the day and the littles by myself. I set out on my mission anyway, not knowing the gift of receiving that awaited me.

I made it through our trip to the park without a hitch…

We spent the afternoon at ARCpark (arguably our favorite park in RVA) where the three year old explored and did ALL the things. The baby nursed and snuggled while her big sister played. Then, when it was time to leave, no one fussed or caused a scene. It was glorious, and I was filled with confidence I could handle the rest of the afternoon.

Now it was time to do the grocery shopping…

I was convinced I could handle this trip on my own, because I had babywearing on my side. I got the baby all wrapped up in the Moby, three year old joyfully held my hand as we walked to get a shopping cart. We bought ALL the things, or at least all the things on the grocery list, and headed to the registers to make our purchases. I was exhausted from the day and truthfully, hoped for as little small talk as possible at the check out.

Then the question came…

The store manager asked if he could unload my shopping cart for me. I was taken aback. Here was this person, who undoubtedly had more important things to do, who wanted to unload my shopping cart. This manager guy was sitting rather high on the chain of command, but he still wanted to help me? My first inclination was to say no. I’m an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to help me. But I was compelled to say yes, to accept this offer despite not needing it. I’m terrible at asking for help and accepting it when it was offered. In this instance, I didn’t NEED the help, but who was I to say no? I was a postpartum mom trying to do it all, but why? Who said I have to do it all on my own?

It looks like two people supporting each other; one person leaning back (almost in a trust fall), and the other holding them up. No one person can exist alone and no one person can support themselves.

We often seek independence and feel weak asking for or accepting help from another, but we all need a little help sometimes. An offer has to be accepted in order to have value, and sometimes that offer is as much for the benefit of the giver as the receiver. Receiving a gift is a gift unto itself.

Accepting the gift of receiving is simple. Here’s what you do:

Say yes to the offers of help.
Tell someone you need support.
Offer help to someone who needs it
Repeat.

We can all accept the gift of receiving if we just say yes.

xoxo,

taking care

Namaste Y’all!

April 20, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

If you’ve taken a yoga class or two, you may have heard the word “namaste”. You may have also seen memes like “namastay in bed” or “#namaslay”. These are fun and you all know I LOVE a clever meme, but it detracts from the meaning of this amazing word. Really, it’s more than a word. It’s a practice unto itself.

Namaste is a sanskrit word that literally means “I bow to you.” It is used as a salutation and can be a greeting or farewell. Pretty simple, but when flavored with context and seasoned with yoga philosophy, these three little syllables become so much more.

The word “namaste” symbolizes the connection of different individuals through the fabric of the universe. It reminds us that, although we are different humans, we are all one at the same time.

Let’s begin with a teensy bit of yoga philosophy…

While most people believe they are familiar with “yoga” they are really only familiar with one aspect or “limb” of the yogic path: the physical practice of asana (you know, the poses like upward and downward facing dogs, the sun salutations and happy babies, etc.). There are seven other “limbs” of yoga that make up the entire philosophy and cover a variety of topics such as how we treat ourselves, how we treat others, meditation, and breathing to name a few. If you’d like more information in the 8 limbs of yoga, try this.

In a broader sense, the word yoga means to yoke. What are we “yoking”? In one sense, the body and the mind. In another sense, we are connecting ourselves to the world at large.

Yoga is a form of exercise, but it’s not just fitness and fat burning. It has spiritual roots, but it is not a religion. It is a philosophy, through which regular practice builds awareness, focus, and confidence, in addition to physical strength, balance, and coordination. Yoga requires equivocal and simultaneous effort from the mind and body, and is quite unlike other physical activities for this reason.

It is an individual activity, but yoga is popular in a group setting, such as a yoga class. Even though practitioners are learning and progressing at their own rates, there is a shared energy among the students in the group. We are all in different places, but we are thinking, moving, and breathing as one being. It’s amazingly powerful.

There is usually a teacher in the room leading class, but that individual is much more of an adventure guide, as we can only teach ourselves. That’s right! At the risk of my livelihood as a yoga teacher, I’m telling you that nobody can “teach” you how to do yoga. Instructors make thoughtful suggestions based on our experiences and observations, but it is up to you, as both student and inner teacher to take what you want and leave what you don’t.

So when we say “namaste” it is not just a cute way to end class or a signal students to jump up and leave the room. It is a shout-out to our connectedness. It helps us tie the physical yoga practice to the other limbs of the philosophy. When our mind and body work in harmony, we realize our truest self. It reminds us that teacher and student are equals. It encourages us to use our practice to prepare us for what happens in life; working through challenges, staying focused despite obstacles, returning to our breath and intention…it is so much more than a workout.

The exchange of “namaste” between teacher and student encourages us to pay forward the goodness we create through our practice, to feel grateful for our gifts, and to keep the yoga in our lives even after we roll up our mat.

I recognize the light, the goodness, and the power within you, because it is also within me. I bow to you, as you to me. Although we are different,we are connected, we are one.

– E

just for fun

we have some news

April 12, 2018October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

It’s only April, but 2018 has brought a lot of newness and great opportunities for us both on the 91 rewind. We are so grateful to have you whether you’re new to us or a longtime follower (back from the HebrewDawn days). No matter when you joined us, we are excited to have you along for the ride! With that being from said, we have some news to share…

I am now a contributor on the Richmond Moms Blog. You’ll still hear from me on motherhood occasionally, but I’ll share some of my motherhood and parenting specific thoughts over there. We’ll be sure to share a link to those posts with you all. If you are a Richmond area mom or dad, you should definitely go check out the blog…and not just when I am posting! Posts on Richmond Moms Blogs are often Richmond focused, but most of it is great stuff to carry us as we navigate parenting whether in Richmond or not
You can now find Erica’s yoga schedule here on our site! If you’re looking for a yoga class and live in the Raleigh area or will be visiting the Raleigh, then you should go to one of her classes! Erica is someone who is naturally a great teacher, but she’s also a joy to be around (as her best friend I MAY be biased). For starters, ask her how to make downward dog less taxing and be the restorative pose it’s meant to be…
We have a NEWSLETTER coming and our first edition is coming your way later this month! Make sure you sign up so you’ll stay in the know about all things 91 rewind. You’ll be the first to know about upcoming events, receive special gifts, and stay informed of anything you may have missed here. Sign up here.
We have a new series coming soon, called “How did you get here?” Through these posts we’ll share the stories of people who have been transformed, folks who empower us, and those who just plain have moxie! We cannot wait to introduce you to our first rock star. If you have someone you’d like to see featured, send us note.
You are now able to begin scheduling us for your events! Are you looking for a retreat or event speaker, particularly focusing on self-care? Looking for a pop-up yoga event instructor? Read something here that piqued your interest, but want to dig deeper into the topic? Then we’re your gals. Reach out to us via our event request page or send us an email. We love being able to connect with you all, especially in person!

Thank you for being on this path with us. We hope you’ll find the 91 rewind to be your place to hit pause, catch your breath, hit rewind and try again.

xoxo,

taking care

OMG…STAHP!

April 5, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

Have you ever heard something so ridiculous that the only appropriate response is an eyeroll? I’m on the older end of the millennial spectrum, and while I try to distance myself from it, there is one turn of phrase I find myself using quite a lot these days…

The reply, often accompanied with an eyeroll, that is delivered when you can’t even. When someone has literally just told you something so outlandish that you can’t conceive of it.You’d rather them stop talking than go on another minute.

If there is one thing that makes me feel this way, it is an excuse. You know how they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions? I disagree. It’s paved with shitty excuses. Maybe I just have some sort of aura that makes people feel like they have to explain themselves? I don’t know, but it seems that I am on the receiving end of a lot of them.

I get it though…When we are very little most of us learn to “ask politely to be excused”; we go off to school and work and we get “excused” absences; we ask people to “excuse us” if we inconvenience them for any number of things, from cutting them off in line, to asking them to repeat themselves.

So, what is an excuse, really? Why is it provided? Whom does it benefit? At its core, an excuse is something offered to make someone feel a little less bad about something. You could say excuses are derived from guilt. Guilt is a powerful and compelling emotion and excuses are there to ease that guilt. Something less than favorable happened and an excuse is developed to soften the blow of disappointment. Most of the time, the party receiving the excuse knows it’s a load of malarkey, yet we tolerate them anyway; like a good enough excuse will glaze over any negative feelings.

Sadly, it does not work this way. Often the excuse is for the benefit of its creator more so than for the receiver. We feel better about screwing up when we can explain it. The truth is that we can only control our own behavior and excuses lead us down a slippery slope.

No one is perfect, but we should take pause before we start compiling flimsy reasons why we could not or did not do something. First of all, consider if the person you’re formulating the excuse for is even worth it. Most of the time, people are too preoccupied with their own lives to care why you didn’t blah blah blah. (Take it from me, as a yoga teacher, I PROMISE I am not judging you for not coming to class in a month. I’m just happy to see you today.)

Excuses can be damning, too, by drawing unwanted attention to something that may otherwise go unnoticed. I was late for a big, off-site, sales meeting a couple years ago. Like of the 50 people there, I was the last person in the door and sitting down as the CEO of our company was giving his introduction. I was mortified, but decided to apologize to him when we broke for lunch. I told him I had difficulty finding parking and that I didn’t mean to walk in late. He said to me, “Gosh, I didn’t know you were late until just now!” Whoops. Open mouth, insert foot.

In some situations, an excuse may suffice, but an apology is often so much better. We are all human and the truth is that sometimes we stink! We drop the ball and we make mistakes. Did you cause someone else a hard time? If so, they probably don’t care why it happened, or who’s fault it was, or whether or not you meant to do it. They likely just want you to acknowledge the incident. Excuses are not time machines. They can not take away disappointment, in fact they can actually make things worse. A sincere apology can help us relate much better than an excuse ever will.

In light of that, next time you find yourself grasping at excuses, OMG STAHP. Take a second to ask if it’s worth it? Does the excuse receiver really care? Can you simply own your choices and ask for forgiveness? Can you stand in your truth without blaming others? There’s no need to feel guilty because none of us is perfect. It’s okay to be unapologetic and authentic and late and forgetful and over-programmed and tired and make mistakes. We are human!

Let’s give up the excuses and get on with our lives. Let go of the guilt and embrace our authenticity. Go ahead and get real with people. They’ll love you for it 🙂

taking care

5 reasons to #loveYOU

March 21, 2018October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

At the beginning of March, I had the privilege of attending Sweet Cheeks All Natural’s “#LoveYOU” kick-off event. This was the first of many Sweet Cheeks events focusing on self-care. The topic of self-care comes up everywhere these days…Maybe that’s because most of us don’t do it enough, if we do it at all. Taking care is something we value at The 91 Rewind. We believe that everyone can share a little more of the T.L.C. we dole out to others with ourselves as well.

Not too long ago, Erica and I were having a conversation about what self-care means for each of us. As you may expect from two best friends of nearly 27 years , we have similar ways of caring for ourselves, BUT there are still some differences to note. We both love yoga, but our connection to the practice happened at different times. I began practicing yoga a little over ten years ago at Yoga Source. Erica didn’t step onto the mat until 2011 when a friend conned her into taking a class. I love a great restorative class, where I can focus on my breathing and allow myself to relax through deep stretches. Erica gave restorative a try a few weeks ago and told me she would rather do someone’s calculus homework than to take another restorative class. If I had to describe Erica‘s preferred type of yoga class, it would be one in which she is upside-down as MUCH AS POSSIBLE (FYI-I simply cannot fathom how a person finds relaxation from something like that…).

I mention this not to suggest that one type of yoga practice is better than the other, but to highlight that different methods can yield the same outcome. We both experience a euphoric yet relaxing, warm-fuzzy, post-class feeling, but we take different paths to get there. Caring for ourselves is much the same, in that it depends on individual preferences. Each of us will need something a little different, and only you can truly know what that is.

So, while I cannot tell you exactly HOW you need to care for yourself, I CAN tell you some reasons WHY you should care for yourself; why you have to #LoveYOU. I’ve debated the best way to do this, so I decided to go with a David Letterman-esque “Top 10 List.” Unfortunately, ten is far too many reasons to really remember, so I’m going to stick to five. Let’s keep it simple. Now, without further ado, here are the top five reasons to #LoveYOU!

#5 You are beautiful! Society wants to tell us what beauty is and should be, AND how or what we need to make ourselves beautiful. But let me tell you, none of that is true. There is nothing you need to do to make yourself beautiful. Beauty comes from within and extends to our outer being. You are beautiful with or without makeup; with or without the perfect outfit, or expertly styled hair. You are real and flawed and amazingly alive and that is truly beautiful. You are already here, my dear, living and breathing. There is nothing MORE you need to do to make yourself beautiful. Just #LoveYOU, and everyone else will, too.

#4 You are important! Obviously, our needs are important. That’s why we have jobs! So we can provide for ourselves…but how many of us REALLY feel that our needs are the MOST important? How often do we put off going to the doctor because we can’t miss work? How many times do we reschedule appointments because we are just too busy? How often do we want to take time for ourselves but feel too guilty to actually do it? What are we afraid of? If you ask me, it’s the fear that once we finally DO put ourselves at the top of our list, that we will never be able to go back to how things were before. Maybe that’s true, but hey you are important! After all, no one else can authorize our self-care. You deserve to feel important and it’s okay to put YOU first.

#3 Your happiness matters! I find this is hardest for mothers, and women in general, to grasp and embody. Women are natural care-takers and have a habit of prioritizing the needs of others, sometimes at the expense of our own happiness. We make a lifestyle of overextending and begin to feel stressed out and unappreciated. We wonder why no one seems to care about us, yet we behave as if we never need anything. Acknowledging that we deserve happiness and taking time to discover and create our own joy tells others that we DO matter and that our happiness is a priority.

#2 You are enough! The world would like us to believe that we are needy and ill-equipped. There are entire industries that thrive on people’s fear that they are not good enough (we won’t name any names…). Tapping into the human fear of inadequacy is a great sales tactic, but a terrible life philosophy. We question our career choices, believing the right job will suddenly fulfill us. We think we need to buy the right clothes or accessories to help us feel more love. We feel like a bigger house means a better life. We believe that our adventures only count if they get lots of “likes” on social media. We seek affirmation of ourselves from external sources. No one can tell you who you are. You would still be you without an instagram account, without a fancy job, without the latest clutch that you paid a fortune for. You are not perfect, but you are whole. You are complete, you are enough.

#1 (and Most Important) YOU’RE AN ADORABLE BADASS! You are a first-edition, limited-release, ORIGINAL. There has never been, nor will there ever be another YOU. You are the only person you can be. Embrace your originality my friend, because no one has it quite like you.

It may sound backwards, but taking care of ourselves can help us take better care of others. Learning to cherish ourselves; working to #LoveYOU flaws and all, makes us better. It makes us more kind, more compassionate. After all, you can’t convince anyone of anything until you first convince yourself.

There are a truckload more reasons to #LoveYOU and we hope this little countdown may inspire you to some steep on some reasons of your own. We often feel pressure to achieve or obtain. That self-worth is derived from doing things. You are alive and individual, and that’s all that is required.

If you doubt any of these reasons, stand in front of a mirror and repeat as many times as necessary. Some days it’s easier to believe than others, but EVERY DAY you need to #LoveYOU…no matter what!

xoxo,

taking care

doesn’t manage time wisely

March 14, 2018October 12, 2022 @happedancing

I can remember my first report card from elementary school. Many of the remarks on it are still true today, but one in particular, stands out…

Ah yes. It seems I have always had difficulty managing the amount of “things” needing to be done in a given amount of time. As many will tell you, I’m typically 2-5 minutes late to any given event. I really don’t like this about myself, but I have learned to manage this, perhaps, better than the time itself.

Maybe it’s a gross underestimate of time, maybe it is an endless desire to be optimistic in what I accomplish, or maybe it’s just some part of my brain that’s completely missing. I always seem to be running out of time. Does anyone else feel this way?

What’s to be done about it? Not much. In fact, I would say that exactly nothing can be done about the time. The time is going to do what it is going to do. We can’t change it’s cadence, we can’t stop it, and we can’t get any more once we’ve spent it. Like an arrow, time is only traveling forward.

This brings me back to my report card and the idea of time management. If time is constant, then we can’t control it. We have to accept it and work within its confines, right? So, we can’t really manage the time, now can we?

I was listening to a radio show the other day, Geet Bazaar, on WKNC 88.1 (the BEST radio station in Raleigh) and one of the hosts was talking about time management. As an accomplished professor, she is constantly asked for tips about managing time and becoming more productive. She said she would answer everyone’s questions, once and for all: “You cannot manage time. You can only manage yourself…”

It was like I had been thumped in the forehead. The speakers on the radio went on, discussing how we can only control our own behavior, and that we have to make good decisions with our use of time–each analogy more illustrative and resonating than the last. But, that initial statement, so profound and bold. It stays with me today.

Admittedly, it is empowering to know that we are in command of our behavior. We can choose our actions and reactions. We choose how we live our lives, erego, how we spend our time. If you think about it, we can never really know how much time we are going to have…Maybe we should find it a little more precious.

Like my dear friend Crystal said last week, it can’t all be important. Let your heart tell you what is. Let’s be a little more choosey, a little more frugal with our time. After all, we can only spend it once and there is a strict no-return policy.

Namaste,