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I am sorry for my silence

For years I was silent. Maybe it was out of fear. What would be the consequence if I spoke up? Would I lose my job? What would my friends or family say? But now, all I can say is I am sorry for my silence. 

You need allies. 

Whether you are facing racial, religious, gender, sexual orientation, you name it discrimination, you need allies around you. It’s difficult to know who the allies are among you if we remain silent. You need us to let you know that we acknowledge you for who you are, view you as a whole human being, and love you despite what others are saying. You need us to tell others that we stand in solidarity with you, even if we may not face the same forms of discrimination as you, but we are on your side. I am sorry for my silence when you need me to be your ally. 

You need advocates 

When you were (or still) struggling and unable to speak for yourself, you need those of us with the ability to speak up to do so. You need some of us to be more than allies among you, because you need us to advocate for you. We need to speak up in the places and spaces to say that you matter, you deserve the same rights and protections as everyone else, and that the discrimination you’ve faced, are facing, and continuing to face is wrong. You cannot be the only voice speaking up against the injustices that you’re facing. Sitting quietly by your side while you silently struggled is not enough. There is a reason for your silence, and I’m guessing it’s much larger than my fear of consequences. I am sorry for my silence when you need me to be your advocate.

I will not be silent any more.

At the risk of angering some, alienating others, and standing up for what’s right, I will not be silent in the face or your struggles anymore. I cannot promise that I will be a perfect ally or advocate, but I’m going to do the best that I can. If i’m not doing it quite right, I do ask that you (gently) let me know. The list of struggles by those around me can feel endless, but here are the issues currently weighing on my heart…

Sexual violence
Gender identity/sexual orientation discrimination 
Racial discrimination
Asylum seekers treated inhumanely at the United States port of entry
Gender discrimination
Religious discrimination, particularly against Muslims
(please note this list is ever growing and not all-inclusive)

I cannot promise that I will be a perfect ally or advocate, but I’m going to try and do the best that I can. I hope that together, we can all work to make this place a better world for us all. One step at a time. 



NOTE: The timing of this post is fortuitous, and I cannot take full credit for this coming when it did.
Changes are happening after the outcry over the treatment of asylum seekers at the USA/Mexico border
This week concludes the celebration of Pride month.
This Saturday marks the ordination of someone in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) ,that I admire and respect, as a Minister of Word and Sacrament. Their ordination is historic, as they are the first openly non-binary individual to be ordained in the PC(USA). I am better for knowing them, learning from them, and to know they are serving the church. 

Living Well

thank you for speaking up

As a woman who was born and raised in Virginia, my head has been spinning from all that’s been going on. Normally, happenings with our state leaders don’t make national or international news, but we’re not so lucky right now. On the first day of Black History Month, we found out that our governor may have been depicted in black face or in a Ku Klux Klan hood in his medical school yearbook. Shortly thereafter, we found out that our lieutenant governor has been accused of sexual assault. Then to round it all out, our attorney general admitted to dressing as rapper in black face with friends in college. I think it goes without saying, but this has been shocking, and invites questions about who should be in leadership of our state. I’m not here to say what I think should happen with our leaders, BUT I do want to take a moment to say thank you to my friends who have been speaking up against racism after these disappointing and embarrassing revelations.

Despite many speaking out against racism, I’ve heard people say that they are shocked by the recent events.

Personally, I was initially stunned that this was occuring in the 1980s, but then again I wasn’t that surprised. I was a child in the 80s who was teased regularly for the color of my skin, the shape of my eyes, and the perceived differences.  I remember having many conversations with Erica about her experiences for being teased for the color of her skin. Our shared bond of being the mixed kids at school was something my mother at least understood. As much as there has been progress, racial insensitivity is still a thing. Being left out of the conversations of people of color is not uncommon for us folks of mixed heritage too.

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As we discern how to move forward, may I ask a favor?

Please don’t forget about the other people of color in your midst, in particular, those who are mixed race. We aren’t enough of one thing or the other to truly belong, so we get left out. Whether our ethnicity is Asian, Native American, African, Indian, whatever, different parts of society do not want to claim us. Some say they “don’t see us as different”, which is a nice thing to hear, I guess. But it is still the exception and not the rule. Both Erica and I have had plenty of people point out our differences over the years. It seems despite it all, we are still different enough. Enough to stand out. To be recognized as the other. We don’t quite belong, which leaves us continually sitting on the sidelines struggling with racism, latent and blatant.

We want to be part of the conversations that move us forward to a better future.

It is thanks to progress that our parents decided to cross the racial divide. We have the benefit of learning from both sides of our cultural and ethnic background, and know that understanding someone who is not quite like you can be a great thing. We know firsthand that teaching our children to be authentic and aware of those who are different is a great thing. After being aware, we begin learning about others that aren’t quite like us and appreciating what makes them unique.

We need you to help us.

Those of us with a different colored skin are in a difficult position. If I speak up about racism and racial inclusivity, I am perceived as a victim or I’m an angry person of color. BUT if other white people speak up, other white people listen. I beg of you not to write me off AND to not write off the prophets of your time. Together we can make this world a better place that is rich in culture, wisdom, and understanding.

Love your Japanese/Native American/Irish/Norwegian American mixed friend,

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Is This Really Happening?

I’m not sure how we got to the point in our country where terrible things are considered acceptable, but I cannot sit back and watch anymore. Some of us may choose to turn off the news, silence the radio, and pretend that all the terrible things aren’t happening. I’ve tried it, but you cannot really escape the fact that children have been ripped from their parents arms, neo-Nazis and neo-Confederates are up for election, and blatant racism is considered acceptable. I’m left wondering almost daily, “is this really happening?”

The sad truth is…

All of this is happening and so much more. I could list all that’s wrong, but honestly that’s only going to make us feel more depressed as we’re acutely aware of what’s going on.

So what are we supposed to do?

We need to speak up and stand up when we see something that’s wrong. The thing that pushes us into action may be different for each of us, but we all reach a point where we have to…


We cannot let that which we know is wrong persist. Injustice knows no party lines. Treason knows no party lines. The future of our communities, our country, and our world depend on us.


If you’re upset about what your elected officials (congress, senate, you name it) are doing…say something to them. It’s your right and responsibility. Call them! Email them! Don’t stop until they listen. If they never listen and ignore their constituents, vote them out of office. Let’s not forget midterm elections are just around the corner. If you’re not sure whom to contact, start here:

This page will help you find contact information for your local elected officials so you can start a conversation.

Most of all…

Don’t sit idly by and do nothing. There is always something you can do…so go DO it!

Together, we can work to make this world better. The good guys usually win, it just takes time and hardwork. I’m pressing pause on my complacency, rewinding my silence , and trying again to have the courage to speak up for what I believe in. I’m up for the challenge are you?