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I am sorry for my silence

For years I was silent. Maybe it was out of fear. What would be the consequence if I spoke up? Would I lose my job? What would my friends or family say? But now, all I can say is I am sorry for my silence. 

You need allies. 

Whether you are facing racial, religious, gender, sexual orientation, you name it discrimination, you need allies around you. It’s difficult to know who the allies are among you if we remain silent. You need us to let you know that we acknowledge you for who you are, view you as a whole human being, and love you despite what others are saying. You need us to tell others that we stand in solidarity with you, even if we may not face the same forms of discrimination as you, but we are on your side. I am sorry for my silence when you need me to be your ally. 

You need advocates 

When you were (or still) struggling and unable to speak for yourself, you need those of us with the ability to speak up to do so. You need some of us to be more than allies among you, because you need us to advocate for you. We need to speak up in the places and spaces to say that you matter, you deserve the same rights and protections as everyone else, and that the discrimination you’ve faced, are facing, and continuing to face is wrong. You cannot be the only voice speaking up against the injustices that you’re facing. Sitting quietly by your side while you silently struggled is not enough. There is a reason for your silence, and I’m guessing it’s much larger than my fear of consequences. I am sorry for my silence when you need me to be your advocate.

I will not be silent any more.

At the risk of angering some, alienating others, and standing up for what’s right, I will not be silent in the face or your struggles anymore. I cannot promise that I will be a perfect ally or advocate, but I’m going to do the best that I can. If i’m not doing it quite right, I do ask that you (gently) let me know. The list of struggles by those around me can feel endless, but here are the issues currently weighing on my heart…

Sexual violence
Gender identity/sexual orientation discrimination 
Racial discrimination
Asylum seekers treated inhumanely at the United States port of entry
Gender discrimination
Religious discrimination, particularly against Muslims
(please note this list is ever growing and not all-inclusive)

I cannot promise that I will be a perfect ally or advocate, but I’m going to try and do the best that I can. I hope that together, we can all work to make this place a better world for us all. One step at a time. 

xoxo,

C

NOTE: The timing of this post is fortuitous, and I cannot take full credit for this coming when it did.
Changes are happening after the outcry over the treatment of asylum seekers at the USA/Mexico border
This week concludes the celebration of Pride month.
This Saturday marks the ordination of someone in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) ,that I admire and respect, as a Minister of Word and Sacrament. Their ordination is historic, as they are the first openly non-binary individual to be ordained in the PC(USA). I am better for knowing them, learning from them, and to know they are serving the church. 

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maybe it is a scary time to be a man

Every now and then an issue arises upon which I feel the need to offer some commentary. This most recent claim that I have seen about times being scary for men seems preposterous at first. I’ve been ruminating on it for quite some time, and I guess if you do take a moment to think about it from the (white) male perspective, maybe it is a scary time to be a man.

Now, with the #metoo movement going strong and countless individuals stepping forward

to confront the people that have raped or assaulted them; and others speaking out to identify known perpetrators in various Industries, men have quite a bit to worry about. Our very own, tangerine-tinted #45 claimed not long ago that this is a time when “you can be guilty of something you may not be guilty of.” Aside from the numerous grammatical issues with this statement, there is something larger lurking in the background. I believe what President Trump is referring to is the idea that you can be held accountable for something that you do not believe you are guilty of. The idea that the law is more powerful than our opinions of ourselves, why for someone like Trump, that is scary indeed.

To that end, anyone claiming that this is a scary time for boys is right.

Behavior that was previously dismissed as boys being boys is now realized as inappropriate, dangerous, and at times predatory behavior. It means that men have to calculate risk before approaching a situation; they have to think before they speak and act to ensure that they do not offend, endanger, or otherwise mislead the individuals with which they are interacting. I suppose it would be scary to discover that those little lewd comments, the gestures, the seemingly harmless banter with the women (or men) in your life could actually be taken the wrong way. Not only that, but that it could blow back on you. I guess it would be frightening to come to the realization that what you thought was innocent fun and flattery were actually damaging. The criticality of men not only understanding but anticipating the impact of their behavior is imperative but it is new territory. (This has been woman’s plight since the dawn of time…)


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The good news in these scary times is

that some of the privileged few are immune from the perils of being held accountable. Don’t be too afraid of the future,  (white) men, because if you’re the right color, and you have the right re$ources, you can overcome your accusers and still be confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States.  

I’m pissed,
E


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