taking care

Just Ask

How many times have you wondered if someone could do something you needed, but you didn’t ask out of fear? How many times have you needed help from someone, but you didn’t ask for worry it would inconvenience them? How many times have you skipped asking for what you needed, because it seemed unattainable? What if you would just ask and received the best possible answer?

Whenever we ask a question, there are two typical answers we can receive:

“yes” or “no”. I firmly believe that we skip asking what we perceive to be a tough question because we fear that the receiver of our inquiry will respond with “no.” Why is this such a big deal? We hold back, don’t get what we want or even need, all because someone MIGHT tell us “no.”

Over the last year, I’ve been a risk taker with asking for things.

Even when the request seems big, I ask it anyway. And do you know what’s happened? People say yes more often than they say no. And, when they have said no, things have managed not to fall apart. What did I lose by asking and being told no? Absolutely nothing. BUT, what happened when they said yes? I got exactly what I wanted and needed.


What does it cost to ask?

Maybe it’s our pride. Maybe it takes courage. Maybe it’s Maybelline (JOKES!). Perhaps putting our own wants and needs first makes us feel a bit guilty. I have heard from friends and coworkers that they feel stressed and overwhelmed by all the appointments on their calendar. I’ve asked them if they have asked to move any of those appointments to better times for their schedules. And do you know what they say? No, not even once. They’ve even added that they can’t because of the position of leadership of the meeting organizer. But, I always push back and encourage them to ask anyway. Perhaps the meeting could move to another day of the week, or move to a better time in their schedule. I have had the courage to do this at work, on more than one occasion, and it’s turned out okay. On multiple occasions I’ve been able to move the meetings to a better time. On a couple occasions things couldn’t be changed. BUT, I’ve never lost my job for asking.

What do we gain by asking?

Lots of things like the courage to keep asking, continued growth from doing what we’ve been afraid to do, maybe we even get the help we need. Over the last year, Erica and I have been working hard to grow this little blog of ours. We hope to connect with new people and grow our community. In order to do this it requires us asking people to join us and be part of new things. Interviewing Kelli Lemon, Carrie Grace, and Abigail Spanberger didn’t happen by chance. It took asking, putting ourselves out there, and risking a “no” from them or their team. To this day, we keep asking and keeping striving to grow (in various ways).

What will you do the next time you have a question to ask?

I hope that you’ll just ask it anyway. I hope you’ll cast away your fear. I hope you’ll push yourself further ahead. And if you’re feeling nervous, remember to tell yourself that you’re an adorable badass! (P.S. we have #ADORABLEBADASS cards! If you need one, just drop us a line)



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wall paper you can save and use on your phone

wall paper you can save and use on your phonewall paper you can save and use on your phone

wall paper you can save and use on your phone

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Carrie Grace

We have a new story of transformation, empowerment and moxie today as we continue our How Did You Get Here Series. Today, we’d like to introduce you to Carrie Grace. Some of you may follow her on Instagram, and if you’re not following her we recommend it. She is a ray of sunshine in the a sea of selfies and negativity. Perhaps you were lucky enough to have received or have been gifted her Kindness Box. These are no longer available for sale, BUT she does have something new on the horizon. Carrie is a former teacher turned motivational speaker, who is on a mission to inspire others to spread joy and kindness, in hopes of people making the world better than they found it. She believes that no act of kindness is too small or ever wasted. She currently travels the country to inspire others and has she’s been featured on major media including USA Today, Huffington Post, His Radio, and many more. Carrie stays busy encouraging us all to push through our fear of rejection, but we are most thankful she made time for us this week.

What is the most rewarding thing about your venture?

To be honest, it’s the people. I’ve had the chance to interact with so many different people, and to hear their stores…lots of different people. I love the storytelling aspect of this, hearing what others have to share. It’s always been about the people.

How and why did you start your journey?

I am not someone who thought I would have a career as motivation speaking or who particularly enjoyed public speaking. My journey into this career began when I was invited to speak at my friend Lara Casey’s Making Things Happen Conference in 2014. If I’m honest about this, I hated it. Not the conference, but the speaking part. I loved being the one welcoming the attendees. Forming relationships with those attending was the best for me, but one day, Lara said that I needed to be a speaker. She said I had something to share and I had to get comfortable being the one speaking. It was after this experience that I realized I had to have a mindset shift about making speaking a career. After having opportunities speaking, I had people telling me that I could make a career doing this, but at first it wasn’t profitable. Initially, I was bartering and trading things for my time speaking. BUT trading things doesn’t pay the bills! I had others encourage me to find people with a budget to pay me to be their speaker. It was after this that I began reaching out to various groups and businesses to be the speaker for their events and training programs.

What was the most challenging part?

I’m thinking it’s finding the right events. Being my own marketer. Keeping up with the travel. Right now it’s been in the United States, but it’s expanding to Canada later this year.

What have you learned?

Everything. I went from products to service, and it’s a totally different world. Figuring it all out. I’ve made some mistakes along the way. I’ve had some speaking engagements where afterwards you say, “hmmm, that wasn’t my best.” There’s always a  learning curve.. It’s can be scary. There are days that I want to quit, but it all comes back to the people. You get to have an impact telling a story and people continually find a point they can relate to and grow.

What advice would you give someone else on this path?

If you don’t have a risk-taking in your blood, it’s very hard to do. You have to be good at rejection. That’s why I speak on rejection. It’s not about who you know, it’s more about your willingness to know someone. Are you willing to send that email? Are you willing to pick up that phone? My mind is wired that way, maybe to a fault. I know that not everyone is like that, as we tend to think we can’t do it.

How has it changed you?

This is not what I  expected my life would look like. For me, it’s what I’m proving to myself. In the beginning, I gave a commencement speech in front of a thousand people with a cap and gown on. Once I did that, I think it made it easier to be honest when I’m speaking. I went real big, real fast. Never in my life have I been in front of that many people. There’s nothing that can prepare you for that, but it’s probably one of my top ten favorite moments. I can sit here and say, “Gosh, I did that.” Even if it wasn’t my best or if you could tell l I was nervous, I can say that  I did it. Not only did I do it, but I got up there, I didn’t run, I didn’t throw up, I didn’t trip. I can do hard things.

What has surprised you the most?

Honestly, I’m surprised that people have a lack of faith in humanity. I’m amazed that people have such low expectations. The world isn’t great right now, I get that, so their view is skewed that the world is out to get them.

Anything else you’d like to share?

Don’t give up until you have heard one hundred ‘no’s’. That’s really hard. Don’t stop going after things until you’ve got a hundred, then take a break. Sometimes after two no’s we’ll give up, go sit in the corner, and cry.

I always tell people there are two kinds of people in the world. One is the person who only sees the finish line. The other is the one who only sees the obstacles in the way of the finish line. If you cannot train your brain to see just the finish line, you will stop at the second obstacle you encounter. There will always be obstacles. You won’t make it to the finish line if you don’t have the stamina to keep going up hill…If you cannot keep your eyes on the finish line, you might still get there, but it’s going to be a much harder thing. Sometimes you have to take a detour to get to the finish line. People tend to focus so hard on being in the race, that their eyes aren’t on the finish line, so the second their eyes come off the second it becomes really hard.

You start small. I’m a runner, and run about 90 miles a month. 3 miles a day isn’t hard, because if you do something everyday, it adds up.If you send 3 emails a day, you’ll send 90 by the end of the month. Out of those 90, someone is probably going to say yes. AND you haven’t even hit 100. We like to think it’s all or nothing, but I like to look for opportunities of all kinds.

Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us Carrie.

If you’re interested in learning more about her, you should check out her website, follow her on social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter), and/or subscribe to her newsletter. If you’re looking for a speaker for your business or school, consider bringing Carrie in to talk about empathy. Did you know that empathy is one of the most important skills we can learn? Empathy teaches us to cherish our humanity and value one another. We develop better relationships through empathy, not just with our family and friends, but with our co-workers and everyone with whom we come in contact. If we can be more empathetic, we can have better customer service, better work relationships, and stronger leaders. Sounds like a win right?

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