The91Rewind

Today we continue our “How Did You Get Here” series with Carolyn Ghezzi. Carolyn got her start at North Carolina’s School of the Arts and is a performing arts legacy unto herself. She is based in Raleigh, North Carolina, but has worked all over the world. She has shared the spotlight with some of the dance world’s biggest icons and performed her original songs in front of thousands at global events. Her career encompasses performing dance and music in addition to coaching, teaching, and producing young artists. She is one of the most interesting women I have had the pleasure of knowing, and she just so happens to be one of my favorite ballet teachers at the North Carolina Dance Institute.

I am so excited to present The 91 Rewind’s first performing artist profile in our How Did You Get Here series.

Carolyn Ghezzi, professional dancer and musician.

How did you get started in music and dance? You mentioned coming from a musical family, how did that shape your love for music?

From as far back as I can remember I’ve been writing songs and singing. That came first and is part of my family legacy. My father was a well-known guitarist who played with the big bands, and also accompanied Judy Garland when she toured the East Coast. My mother was a jazz and opera singer, and her mother was a renowned opera singer in Wales. Music was all around me all the time. My mom has told me that I was writing entire Broadway shows when I was 5 years old. She created a space for me in the basement and I wrote out all the characters and parts and made up all the songs. Then, when I was finished, I would come upstairs, stand on the coffee table, and perform the show for the family. It makes me laugh even now.

Dance came a bit later when no one in my family could keep up with me. I was a bundle of energy, constantly moving, and my parents were exhausted. I was always running, jumping, dancing, moving, I never stopped. Sometimes doing cartwheels around the house for long periods of time. When I was 8 years old, they enrolled me at the Academy of Dance Arts in Winston-Salem. That was the start of my dance career. By the age of 9 my mother said I looked her in the eye and declared that I was going to be a professional dancer.

I’m very stubborn and I’ve always known how to channel that into helping push myself forward. I was taken into the North Carolina School of the Arts (NCSA) when I was 11 years old by Robert Lindgren, who at the time, was the Dean of the dance program at NCSA. At 15 years old, while I was still in school at the North Carolina School of the Arts, I was already dancing professionally as an apprentice with the North Carolina Dance Theatre.

When did you realize you wanted to be a professional artist? Was it a specific moment or a calling from within?

I think that just happened organically. With dance, you just do the work. You audition and either it happens or it doesn’t. With music, I just kept pushing forward; recording and performing, and it all just came together. I think I’ve always been an artist. It’s never been a choice for me. A few times I tried to do a regular job and ignore the artist in me, and that was a disaster. I’m miserable without my art. Being an artist is not an easy road and is not for everyone. But I feel that IT chose ME and not the other way around

Professional careers in the performing arts are hard to come by. How did this become a reality for you?

I really feel the reason that I’ve been successful in both music and dance is that I always knew instinctively when to rebel and when to be submissive. In the dance world, it’s all about discipline. Doing what you’re told, but making your way to the front of the class and demanding attention. Your style and your movement have to be undeniable. There is so much competition, but you can only really compete with yourself to be successful. As far as my dancing, I was driven every day to push myself harder and harder. I did have a private coach and amazing mentor, Nolan Dingman, from the New York City Ballet. I followed him around the country for several years as he helped me get to a professional level.

In the music world, I think my naivete was actually a good thing. Because I came from a musical family I thought everyone sat around and sang and played instruments all the time. That just seems like the everyday normal stuff to me. When I started recording and performing, I really didn’t stress or think much about it at all because it was just a part of me. Performing was something I’d always done as far back as I can remember.

I got involved with the AIDS Alliance to help raise money and I ended up working with them for 7 years on the World AIDS Day concert. That helped push my band into the national spotlight. I would be commissioned to write the theme song every year, and we would perform in front of as many as 15,000 people. During those years I got a lot of publicity a lot of opportunities and I even had a song that made it up the Billboard charts.

I think you just keep your head down, do the work, and be open to collaborating with other artists; which I always have been. Then, the opportunities present themselves and you just have to know when to grab them.

The radiant and stylish Ms. Carolyn.

Sometimes the struggle gets real. Tell us about a time when you weren’t sure if you were going to be successful? What did you do?

I had to laugh out loud about that one. Have I ever thought I wouldn’t be successful? How about every minute of every day? Haha. I’m a perfectionist and that’s something I struggle with daily.

For me, success is getting up every day doing what I love, having wonderful family friends, and being passionate about what I do and making a living doing it. I’m doing that very successfully now, and I found a good balance in my life as well. I enjoy everything that I do whether it’s reading biographies, watching documentaries and concerts, checking out new films by directors that I love, or just enjoying being at home and being grateful. I have some very lovely friends, and I enjoy spending time with them when the mood hits me. I’ve always been a loner and I protect and value my alone time.

Walk us through a typical work week? Is there even such a thing? Are you working on different projects simultaneously or do you compartmentalize?

I really don’t have a typical work week but I’m very disciplined and organized with my schedule. On Fridays, I start to look at the following week and see how many private dance classes I can fit in, what research and work I can do for my musicians, how I can balance my own time for my art, and still have time to relax. With the exception of my set classes at NCDI, everything else is constantly changing. I try to get up about the same time each day and make sure that I get some cross training in; whether it’s stretching, weights, biking, walking or giving myself a ballet class. I have my coffee and reading time in the morning, checking email and preparing for my day. I’m much more careful in the last few years about getting enough rest and making sure that I can balance both music and dance without compromising either.

It seems like you manage many different parts of being an artist…How do you stay grounded amidst the chaos?

Staying grounded is actually easy for me. The world can be a harsh place and I don’t really love reality. No artist tolerates reality. The hard part for me is finding my escapes. The amount of exercise I get keeps me grounded along with my family. I know what’s important in life, and I never stop being grateful. I’m of the mindset that you can live your life one of two ways. You can either feel entitled or grateful. I choose to feel grateful. That helps to keep me level and definitely keeps me happy.

I’ve always juggled music and dance…they do go together, of course. Sometimes I spend more energy on dance, sometimes music. In the last five years, however, I’ve split my time pretty evenly. I’ve written dozens of songs, recorded extensively, and performed everywhere from small coffee shops to big venues in front of 15,000 people. I’m totally comfortable in the performer role even though I’m basically an introvert. I’ve been making my living as an artist the majority of my life with some side jobs thrown in. I love being an instructor at the North Carolina Dance Institute, which I consider my home. I do private coaching which I’ve done since I was 17 years old while coming up through the ranks as a professional ballerina and also teach full classes. I run a music promotion company called CJG Innovative where I help independent artists reach their music goals. I’m still very active, writing and recording myself, with five new songs in the last year.

You mentioned loving to collaborate with others. Can you tell us about a really memorable project you worked on?

There are so many amazing projects that I’ve worked on it’s hard to choose one. Some of my most memorable times have been in the recording studio working with recording engineer and producer Jason Richmond. Jason is a young amazing talent who works out of Fidelitorium Studios (among others). I love going into the studio with different musicians, but having Jason produce the tracks. I believe Jason and I make a great team, and the music that’s come out of my projects with him has been some of the best that I’ve done. I no longer second-guess myself anymore when I write songs, and that’s very freeing. Plus, Jason is a genius in the studio and he knows how to capture the moment perfectly.

What advice would you give someone like myself who is looking to convert creative and lucrative hobbies to a full-time gig?

I think if you want to turn something that you love into something that you do for a living, you have to just keep working at it every day. Have your vision in mind and keep networking till you find the place where you belong. It can get very demoralizing and difficult at times, but you can’t give up. Music and dance are two of the hardest careers in the world. They can beat you down if you let them. It takes an incredible amount of inner strength, discipline, and passion to keep moving forward. You have to decide that you’re going to get there one way or another. I’ve done that my whole life, and I won’t kid you it hasn’t always been easy.

I’ve also had many years that were very difficult not just personally, and professionally, but physically and emotionally. But I think underneath it all, I’m an eternal optimist and believe that good things are waiting on the other side of all those difficulties. Anyone can give up, but that’s just too easy. I believe in going to the solution. In the last 10 years of my life, I’ve become very solution-oriented. I always tell my dancers, don’t waste your time and your energy on frustration, find the solution. What your mind believes is what you will accomplish. I believe I can accomplish anything I want if I work like crazy. Don’t give up.

The bottom line is, just keep going.

Thank you Carolyn!!!

We are so glad to share about the fabulous Ms. Carolyn Ghezzi, Raleigh’s performing arts hidden gem. If you’re interested in taking classes with Carolyn, check her out at http://www.ncdanceinstitute.com/index.htm! Come dance with us 🙂

In love and light,

taking care

The Power of a Shower

March 7, 2019 Crystal Varner Parker

For some of us, there’s healing power in sitting on the beach. For others, it may be hiking through the mountains. For many others, it may be a walk in the sunshine or splashing in rain puddles. Whatever it may be for you, there’s a healing power from being connected to something in nature. Crystal shares today a way we can connect with nature, when it’s not always possible.

For some of us, there’s healing power in sitting on the beach. For others, it may be hiking through the mountains. For many others, it may be a walk in the sunshine or splashing in rain puddles. Whatever it may be for you, there’s a healing power from being connected to something in nature. There may be moments where getting outside isn’t an option, and for those moments I’d like to share the power of a shower.

It’s important to find what helps you.

We’re regularly told the importance of getting outside to get some good old vitamin D. If we dig deeper into this topic, we can learn that it reduces stress, helps our immune system, helps us focus, can increase our short-term memory, increase life expectancy, and a whole host of other things. How we each want to connect with nature will vary on you as a person, but it’s important to find out what excites you about our natural world.

I’m a water healing person.

There’s something about the sound of water that does wondrous things for my soul. Whether it is the sound falling water from a rainy sky, flowing water along a creek or river, or the crashing sound of ocean waves…it improves my mood and makes me feel happy. I don’t have to physically touch the water, but it definitely gives me an extra boost when I can. There are times when getting outside and around water isn’t possible when I need it, especially when it’s after dark or there’s a terrible storm.

So what’s a water-loving girl to do?

I hop into the shower. I stand there and let the water wash over me. If standing doesn’t do the ticket, I sit down and feel immersed and surrounded. Suddenly my feelings of overwhelm and frustration melt away. Sometimes I have myself a pity party in the confines of my shower. The soothing support of the water allows me to let go and wash away the negativity. After my shower, I am refreshed and rejuvenated. Then, I can finally start to formulate my plan a.k.a. put on my big girl panties and conquer the world my problem of the moment.

The power of a shower.

If you need to generate some tranquility and connect with nature, but you can’t quite head off to the beach, I’d like to encourage you to give the shower technique a try. It may not be as good as a hike or a day at the lake but listen. The sound of the water falling inside the shower can transport you, to the perfect rainy day stroll, to a babbling brook, or your favorite spot on the shore.

We can’t always take an island vacation when we need a reset, but we can take a few moments to relax and reset before we try again. Next time you need a few moments, jump in the shower and see where the water can transport your mind and soul.

xoxo,

taking care

What exactly are we sorry for?

February 28, 2019October 12, 2022 The91Rewind

Every. Single. Day.

We hear women and girls saying, “I’m sorry.”

We are tired of the apologies because they are UNNECESSARY. It seems women feel the need to apologize when they have done NOTHING wrong. So What exactly are we sorry for?

Our very existence matters.

When we hear someone apologize for standing where someone is walking, it’s as if they are regretting that they exist at all. We can’t read minds or know to step out of the way exactly when someone needs to move past or around us. Everyone needs to breathe, to have water, to eat, and to occupy space. Existing and filling space is NOT something we have to apologize for.

We need connection.

There are moments in life where two or more people just need to communicate voice to voice. It may be easier, save time, or help drill down to a solution. It’s beneficial, yet we apologize for interrupting. “We are sorry to bother” or “sorry we had to call.” Rather than apologizing, perhaps we could greet one another warmly. We don’t always have the ability to schedule a conversation one week in advance with a calendar invite. A simple “hello” and “how are you” is a great icebreaker and can help smooth things over without making us feel small. There’s no need to apologize for interacting with another person—even it is spontaneous or unannounced.

We want to understand.

Sometimes we need feedback. We need to ask a question to get more information. We need an example or clarification to really understand what lies before us. There is this idea that we can only do our best if we have the right tools, yet we apologize for needing access to these tools of success. That doesn’t make sense! How many times have you heard a woman say “I hate to ask you this” or “I’m sorry if this seems like a stupid question” or “I’m sorry but I don’t understand…” It is a fact that asking questions leads to better comprehension that can resonate with all involved. Those willing to ask the questions are not only brave but highly motivated. When we are sorry for needing a better understanding of something, we are essentially apologizing for doing the job to the best of our ability. How silly is that?

We have value.

When we apologize for trivial things, it diminishes who we are as people. Most people that we interact with are not unilaterally irritated with us. They are not frustrated with our existence. But when we say we are sorry for small things, we invite that response. It’s like when someone tells you they have a stain on their shirt. You didn’t notice it, but now you can’t stop thinking about it. Enough is enough already. Stop apologizing. Just stop!

Each and every one of us is an adorable badass.

We are unique and each of us brings something special to the table. Our womanhood unites us, but our individuality helps us shine. You are not fucking sorry for existing, so don’t apologize. Save your sorries for those moments when you make an actual blunder. One that may cause a problem for another person like forgetting to do something you promised you would do or arriving late to a meeting.

Value who you are, the space you occupy, your beautiful voice FIERCELY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY. Because you my friend, are AWESOME! We are people who have feelings, desire connection, and experience emotions. We take up space. Sometimes we need to ask questions and get more information. Being human is nothing to apologize for.

xoxo,

C+E

Out and About

A Hairy Situation

February 21, 2019May 21, 2024 @happedancing

Today I want to talk about hairy situations. This is not a metaphor, ladies and gents. We are literally talking about body hair. It seems there is quite a spectrum of feelings about our bodily follicles and how we should manage them. Let me start by saying that the choice is yours and yours alone. Nobody gets to tell you how your body or hair should look. Now, if you are in a hairy situation and you want to get out of it, I have some pro tips 🙂

There are a variety of options depending on your budget, the rate of your hair’s growth, hair texture, etc. Each one has differing pros and cons, and finding the one for you can be an arduous task. After an almost lifetime of trial and error, I found my preferred method of hair removal. Her name is Helene and she is the owner of Sweet Pea Waxing Boutique in Raleigh, NC.

Raleigh’s expert Brazilian waxing boutique for men and women!!!! #shoplocalraleigh #raleighwaxing #raleighbrazilianwax #raleighesthetician #raleighblogger #raleighmalegrooming #downtownraleigh #raleighmoms #raleighdads #ncstate #raleighvalentinesdaywax #sweetpeawaxingboutique

Why wax?

If you desire smooth and hair-free parts, this is your best bet. The longevity of results can vary because everyone’s hair is a little different. Generally, whatever you choose to wax will be free of unwanted follicles for a few weeks. That is pretty major. Body hair is out of sight and out of mind for multiple weeks. When was the last time you shaved and didn’t have to worry about it for weeks? (Sometimes, if it’s cold enough, the leg hairs will just start growing right away!)

What’s it Like?

The third time’s the charm…it will be tempting to try to manage your hairy situation in between waxes, but RESIST! You might find you actually enjoy this little liberation from grooming. It will take approximately three visits for you to see your best results. Hair grows in three cycles which means that, at any given time, your hair is at three different lengths. By the time you leave your third appointment, the shortest hairs that were missed the first or second time will be removed, and all your follicles will be on the same page. This is important to remember. I was expecting to be “adult film audition-ready” after my first visit…and was not. By the third visit though, I was ready for my closeup—if you know what I mean 🙂

The other little-known benefit of waxing is that it actually changes your hair’s texture. I’ve been going to see Helene consistently for a little over a year now and my hair is noticeably different. It is less coarse and much softer, which makes it easier to remove with the wax. The whole waxing experience gets better as you go along.

Does it hurt?

Yes, but for like seconds at a time. The wax actually feels great going on. When it comes off, it stings for a moment but then it’s gone. That analogy of ripping a bandaid off is appropriate here, so try to think of it as temporary discomfort for future happiness.

Is it worth it?

In a word, YES! The money I have spent at Helene’s shop has saved me an abundance of time and stress. I can’t say it’s less expensive than shaving. But it isn’t much more. I shaved for years and years. The stubble, the bumps, the razor burn for me were undesirable, but necessary evils. But then it dawned on me. What’s the point of being free of body hair if your skin is irritated and uncomfortable? I definitely prefer my body sans hair, and waxing is the only method of hair removal that gives me the results I want.

Waxing is low maintenance, too, especially if you’re used to shaving a couple times a week. If you buy the serum (and make sure to use it every day) and get a good exfoliator, you’re golden. Smooth sailing for weeks! Things may get hairy in the few days before your appointment, but that hair will be finer and softer and less disruptive to your life.

First day at new location!! All Sweet Pea Waxing appointments are now at 4024 Barrett Drive # 204!!! #raleighwaxing #northhillsraleigh #shoplocalraleigh #raleighbrazilianwax #raleighbrows #raleighfacials #lashliftraleigh #nyeraleigh

Sweet Pea Waxing Boutique just moved!

The new location is off of Six Forks Road South. Helene and her new wax specialist Hannah offer a variety of waxing services for men and women and are welcoming new clients. With the addition of Hannah to the team, Sweet Pea Waxing Boutique has lots of appointment times. Online booking makes scheduling a breeze! The studio is immaculate, with charming decorations, and the most professional wax specialists in the area. Visit https://sweetpeawaxing.com/ for more information. Or better yet, make an appointment and see for yourself!

Head’s up first-time clients!!!

Mention that you heard about Sweet Pea Waxing Boutique on @The91Rewind for a sweet 20% off any service!

Living Well

thank you for speaking up

February 14, 2019October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

As a woman who was born and raised in Virginia, my head has been spinning from all that’s been going on. Normally, happenings with our state leaders don’t make national or international news, but we’re not so lucky right now. On the first day of Black History Month, we found out that our governor may have been depicted in black face or in a Ku Klux Klan hood in his medical school yearbook. Shortly thereafter, we found out that our lieutenant governor has been accused of sexual assault. Then to round it all out, our attorney general admitted to dressing as rapper in black face with friends in college. I think it goes without saying, but this has been shocking, and invites questions about who should be in leadership of our state. I’m not here to say what I think should happen with our leaders, BUT I do want to take a moment to say thank you to my friends who have been speaking up against racism after these disappointing and embarrassing revelations.

Despite many speaking out against racism, I’ve heard people say that they are shocked by the recent events.

Personally, I was initially stunned that this was occuring in the 1980s, but then again I wasn’t that surprised. I was a child in the 80s who was teased regularly for the color of my skin, the shape of my eyes, and the perceived differences. I remember having many conversations with Erica about her experiences for being teased for the color of her skin. Our shared bond of being the mixed kids at school was something my mother at least understood. As much as there has been progress, racial insensitivity is still a thing. Being left out of the conversations of people of color is not uncommon for us folks of mixed heritage too.

As we discern how to move forward, may I ask a favor?

Please don’t forget about the other people of color in your midst, in particular, those who are mixed race. We aren’t enough of one thing or the other to truly belong, so we get left out. Whether our ethnicity is Asian, Native American, African, Indian, whatever, different parts of society do not want to claim us. Some say they “don’t see us as different”, which is a nice thing to hear, I guess. But it is still the exception and not the rule. Both Erica and I have had plenty of people point out our differences over the years. It seems despite it all, we are still different enough. Enough to stand out. To be recognized as the other. We don’t quite belong, which leaves us continually sitting on the sidelines struggling with racism, latent and blatant.

We want to be part of the conversations that move us forward to a better future.

It is thanks to progress that our parents decided to cross the racial divide. We have the benefit of learning from both sides of our cultural and ethnic background, and know that understanding someone who is not quite like you can be a great thing. We know firsthand that teaching our children to be authentic and aware of those who are different is a great thing. After being aware, we begin learning about others that aren’t quite like us and appreciating what makes them unique.

We need you to help us.

Those of us with a different colored skin are in a difficult position. If I speak up about racism and racial inclusivity, I am perceived as a victim or I’m an angry person of color. BUT if other white people speak up, other white people listen. I beg of you not to write me off AND to not write off the prophets of your time. Together we can make this world a better place that is rich in culture, wisdom, and understanding.

Love your Japanese/Native American/Irish/Norwegian American mixed friend,
C

Living Well

one down, 11 to go!

February 7, 2019October 12, 2022 @happedancing

We are now into the second month of this year. If you’re anything like me, you are shocked at how rapidly January came and went. You may be equally shocked to find that it did not turn out how you expected or planned. Outside of paying bills and other basic human functions, I did not check a single box of my “stuff to do” list. I did not create my ideal routine or lose 10 pounds or start eating clean. I made very little, if any, progress. It’s too late for resolutions, but it’s too early to wait until next year. How do we get ourselves pumped up for the year when we’re only one month down, with eleven to go?

We all have a story in our heads and it can get a little dark when things get topsy turvy. Learning to spin that story into motivation for change is like giving yourself a mental high-five. Read on for some ideas on how to soften the blow of disappointment and affirmations to pick ourselves back up when life knocks us down.

We start with forgiveness.

We can all cut ourselves some slack, and right now, I know I desperately need it. As tempting as it is to beat myself up for what I didn’t get right, it only serves to make me feel worse. We have a long way to go in this still mostly new year. Let’s try to forgive the mistakes we have made or the things we forgot to prioritize and look to the future.

The story in my head is that this year is off to a bad start and will only get worse.

Positive Affirmation – I will forgive myself for over programming my time this month and work to define more free time in the future.

We can reframe.

Reframing or adjusting expectations has been a hot topic in my life lately, both professionally and personally. One of the principles of agile project management is to break up your large objectives into smaller, more digestible, action items. This serves to shift our focus to what we can control right now and away from distractions. Why worry about something that hasn’t happened yet? (This is easier said than done, believe me!) To clarify, reframing or adjusting or reassessing or whatever you want to call it is not giving up. It’s a tool to seek opportunities for improvement. Every failure or f*ckup is a chance to learn. When we apply our lessons learned, we get smarter and work better.

The story in my head is that I’m failing to manage my time effectively.

Affirmation – I may not have met my goal for being at work before 8 am every day, but I notice it takes me a long time to get ready to leave the house in the morning. I should focus on creating a morning routine!

We can give it another try.

The good news is that we have plenty of 2019 left to restrategize and live our best lives. So what if January was a bit of a doozy. We have eleven more months to keep plugging away and making little changes. The time is going to pass regardless of our attitude, so we may as well try and keep it positive, eh? If we can forgive ourselves, and reframe our expectations, we can find room for self-improvement.

The story in my head is that I should give up on making this year great.

Affirmation – I have learned so much already in this new year about how I manage time. I can focus on small improvements that will add up to make my life easier to manage.

The truth is that failure exposes opportunities.

Failure is not a dirty word. It is defined as “a lack of success”. It is not an abysmal humiliation performed by a dummy. It is not the end of the world. We tried, but it didn’t work. When something doesn’t go as planned, it is very tempting to look at the outcome as bad or a waste of time. But it isn’t those things. It is simply a lack of success, which if you think about it, is a pretty neutral statement. If we fail at something, we can rule out at least one approach that doesn’t get us where we want to be. With a little reflection, we may be able to learn why our effort was a flop and try something new.

The year is still pretty fresh, you guys. If you feel a little behind or a little lost or a little stuck, you are not alone. I feel all those things and I want you to know that it will be okay. We have the power to pause and forgive ourselves for mistakes. We owe it to ourselves to press rewind and reflect on the outcome of our efforts – for better or worse. And lastly, every day we wake up is a chance to try again. To apply those lessons learned and just keep moving forward.

Loving oneself means being your own cheerleader in good times and bad. Do yourself a solid and spin your story into motivation. We’ve got a lot of 2019 left…remember to cut yourself some slack when the ship hits the sand. Look for ways to wise up and fail forward and this just might be your best year ever.

In love, light, and laughter at ourselves,

How did you get here

How Did You Get Here: Natasha Foreman

January 31, 2019 Crystal Varner Parker

We are so excited to continue our How Did you Get Here series in 2019 on The91Rewind. Each time, we are bringing you stories of transformation, empowerment, and moxie. Today we have the opportunity to share the story of Natasha Foreman, whom you may know as curlycurvyyogini on Instagram, the founder of Lucid Punk apparel , and owner of Lucid Living. This woman wears MANY hats and she’s quite the calming healer. We can’t wait for you to get to know Natasha and love her as much as we do.

Reconnect through the power of sound. Each Tuesday, Natasha leads a Sound Concert from 6:15 – 7:15pm 🧘🏽🧘🏻‍♂️ Drop-ins are $17. All Lucid Living members receive 20% off of drop-in rate. #lucidlyliving 📸: @katieyuenphoto

How did you get started?

I totally lost my sh*t in 2009 when I was working as a financial advisor. I was extremely successful in my twenties and was fortunate to be in business alongside my boo. Everything was in this place of success in the eyes of many, but I spent my days managing 35 agents at the cost of 60-80 hour workweeks. I was always having to train and inspire others, but I was doing nothing to replenish and care for myself. In the midst of this, I gained 50 pounds, had an erratic sleep pattern, and my anxiety attacks (these initially started in college) became debilitating.

It was at this point, I decided something had to change. I broke things off with my boo, signed over my part of the business, packed up and left D.C. for Richmond. I stayed with my mom for nine months, during what I call my sabbatical, but I hardly left the house. This was a turning point for me. I had removed the factors causing me to hit this breaking point, but I didn’t have the tools I needed to care for myself moving forward.

After being on “sabbatical” for nine months, I had to start working again to support myself. I started working in financial advising again but in a more behind-the-scenes way. Fortunately, a client I knew owned a yoga studio, so I went to check it out. I had read that yoga could help with your breath, and I knew I could use some help breathing. I went to my first class, never stopped, and can now say that yoga saved my life.

Yoga was a catalyst. It pushed me toward more ways I could heal myself. Then, it turned into me wanting to share these tools with others.

What is the most rewarding thing about what you’re doing?

I get to hold space for people. Here, they can come into this space as they are and willingly move from this place of focusing outward to working inward.

What led you to feel the need to create Lucid Living?

Honestly, I moved from my heartspace. When I move from my heartspace, it’s where God or the Divine resides. I don’t always understand it or want to do it, but I follow it. I moved to my current physical space in March 2018, but prior to this, I was in a 200 square foot space in Carytown. The old space was just for healing services; I actually had to rent a different space for group classes. But one day my heartspace (the Divine) said, “I need you to do more. I need you to create a platform not just for you, but for others too.” So I did it. I wasn’t sure how, but I just did. Now, I have friends who don’t understand how I trust like this, but it’s gotten me this far, so I can’t stop.

What would you say has been the most challenging part of your journey?

Balance. I feel like I might be able to speak for other healers and those creating a space for others. We move from a place from working on ourselves to then seeing how great these tools are for others. I began caring for others and their ability to heal themselves, too. Once we start focusing on others, we forget about ourselves and our groundedness starts to suffer. I know now that I can’t be who I need to be for my clients, students, or anyone who comes here if I don’t take care of myself.

What is something you have learned?

So many things! Can the lessons stop??

To trust. When I feel this tug at my heart to move in a direction, I have to trust. When I don’t follow my heart, I see that I should have done it. Trusting and following that heartspace

Second, Fill my cup before I fill others. I know now that my nervous breakdown in 2009 was because I was constantly giving to others. Going. Giving. Going. Giving. Doing, BUT there was no being. There was no sitting and connecting in my space. I need to remember that I am important, and then I can do for others.

Seasons change, moon phases changes, and now our hours have changed! Our updated hours of operation are:⠀ ⠀ MON-THURS: 10am – 8 pm⠀ FRI: 10am – 6pm⠀ SAT: 9am – 5pm⠀ SUN: Closed⠀ ⠀ Book your appointment for an individual healing session online or call the studio at 804.592.0747 🧘🏽💆🏼🧘🏾‍♂️🧘🏻💆🏾🧘🏻‍♂️⠀ ⠀ #lucidlyliving ⠀ 📸: @katieyuenphoto

If someone wants to get started on this journey of being a healer, guiding people, or providing a space, what advice would you give them?

Find the tools that help you. If it’s yoga, singing bowls, or something you love, then that’s something to explore more. Go to a yoga teacher training and learn more for your own practice. If the sound of the singing bowls speaks to you, go to a training. Whenever we pursue a training, we don’t have to do or teach that thing. When I first went to yoga teacher training, I didn’t want to be a yoga instructor at all; I signed up to deepen my own practice. Before I finished that training, I was offered some teaching opportunities.I heard in my heartspace a call to do that thing I didn’t want to do.

Basically what I’m saying is to explore it all, because there are so many things in the alternative healing modalities. You have to explore to see what resonates for you. Determine which things help you feel the most grounded and centered, then if they do that for you, you’ll be able to hold space for others from the evidence of a lasting shift in your life.

How has all of this changed you?

Oh wow, this is being really real. Natasha now, is not Natasha back in 2009 (obviously), and I’m grateful for it. I needed to be that person back then, but I’m grateful that I have evolved. I transformed from being selfish and focusing on what I wanted, to a person who is grateful and wants to give. I feel like I have been given so much in the way of mentoring (from other small business owners, healers) and guidance from others, I want to be able to give back. People who know me from college and those who know me now are like two different worlds. Sometimes the people from now and then don’t always intersect, but those that do can really see the change in me. They can see the evolution, shifting, and growth. Hopefully, this is something we would all do, continually being better versions of ourselves.

What has surprised you most?

I like to be the person behind the scenes. I’m a learned extrovert, but really I’m the introvert that wants to be at home where I get fueled. What surprised me most, has been the reception of being in this space. Whenever we have a workshop or series-based class here and people leave talking about their experience, I’m pleasantly surprised that it happened here, at my place. I still can’t believe this space provides that, and my heart overflows with love and gratefulness. I have such gratitude for the words people say about what this space means for them. All I wanted to do is hold a space for people, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how receptive everyone has been of it.

Anything else you would like to share?

I’d encourage people to keep following their heart. I’m grateful for you two thinking of me to share what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. Thank you for your support at Lucid Living

Thank you for allowing us to interview you Natasha!

We hope you enjoyed getting know this awesome Richmonder. If you are fortunate enough to live in RVA, stop by Lucid Living for a healing service (Intuitive Massage, Thai Bodywork, Reiki, Yoni Steaming, Sound Therapy, and Aromatouch), a workshop, a Sound Concert, to purchase something from Lucid Punk Apparel (Reiki -infused clothing), or to learn more. When Natasha isn’t at Lucid Living, she also volunteers with the Junior League for the last ten years, and serves as the Vice-Chair on the Project Yoga Board of Directors.

Let the Himalayan singing bowls help you stay balanced and relaxed this holiday season. ⠀ ⠀ Join us this evening for a meditative Sound Concert from 6:15 – 7:15pm w/ Natasha. We can't wait to see you there!⠀ ⠀ #lucidlyliving⠀ 📸: @katieyuenphoto

pause + rewind + try again

Holding Each Other Accountable

January 24, 2019October 12, 2022 Crystal Varner Parker

Recently I got into one of those Facebook debates with someone I didn’t know. I wanted to assume the other person was a decent human being because of our shared acquaintance. But, as it happens with most social media debates, I walked away feeling more frustrated and disappointed in the state of our current social climate than anything else. It seems as though we say things on the internet that we wouldn’t say to someone’s face. It also feels as though our sense of common decency is slipping, and that we are no longer willing to hold each other accountable.

The aforementioned debate began over a BBC article about Gillette’s recent video…

My cousin shared this article asking for thoughts. I read it and watched the video and thought it had a good message. I didn’t QUITE see why there was so much outrage, but that didn’t mean others weren’t justified in their feelings. This led me back to my cousins thread, where a couple thoughts had been shared.

I thought the youtube video comment was immature at best, but I was stunned by the second comment.

I took a moment to pause and wondered if it was worth responding.

I had to decide if I was going to engage in an internet debate. After wrestling with whether or not to respond, I felt like couldn’t let this sexism slide and responded. But before I knew it, my mother joined the conversation too.

Hours passed before my cousin’s friend responded…

I chewed on his words, and made one last response…

I never received a response to my comment, and I’m not all that surprised.

What has surprised me most about this, has been the resistance to being held accountable in this #MeToo world we live in. What is wrong with other men holding other men accountable for bad behavior? This video by Gillette says that some men are ALREADY holding other men accountable, but what’s wrong with more doing this? Women aren’t the ones (typically) teaching boys to beat each other up, to say inappropriate things to women, nor are they the ones (typically) silencing other women in meetings. We as women cannot fix what men are doing, but other men can (and should) speak up to one another.

Now, don’t get me wrong, women should be holding other women accountable too.

We should not excuse women being bitchy because it’s “that time of the month.” When our friends start gossiping about another woman, we have to stop the conversation in its tracks. BTW, Erica, did just this not too long ago while out with a group of her girlfriends. Want to know the best thing about this? No one got mad, the gossip stopped, and everyone STILL had a great time. We can take this even further though! When women hear that a another woman has been the victim of sexual assault or violence, we can stop the conversation from going down the “she deserved it route.” Instead we can empower the victim to speak up, or say that we hear your story, and we can that we’re sorry for their awful experience. We can sit alongside someone in their pain, and we can point out negative behavior even when we’re having fun.

Regardless of our gender, we shouldn’t make excuses for bad behavior.

I think some of the outrage over this Gillette video has to do with the fact that something has struck a nerve for a lot of people. Many of us want to say or do whatever it is that we want, but holding each other accountable makes us uncomfortable. Being held accountable means we have to make changes, and that the way we’ve always done it isn’t the way to move forward.

I hope we can be unafraid of being challenged to be better and do better.

Even if it’s difficult, I believe we need accountability. We are society that can make progress, but only if we are willing to make that progress forward. Society improves when more us improve. There was a time when segregation was acceptable, but it no longer is. There was a time when voting rights were only for white men, but it no longer is. There was a time when child labor was acceptable, but it no longer is. We still have a lot of work to do as a collective society, but if we all do our part, I’m optimistic we will become greater.

Growing with you,

Living Well, taking care

Running on Hip-Hop

January 17, 2019April 14, 2023 @happedancing

I love hip-hop music. Ever since I was young, the beats, clever lyrics, and artful storytelling has created a soundtrack for my life. Through the ups and downs, I have always been able to relate to the ongoing struggle conveyed through this genre, and at times, come to depend on it for motivation. My life, my movement, and my spirit are running on hip-hop.

My childhood came with a lot of questions…

I was a multi-racial (read: not white) kid adopted by a white family. Apparently nothing is more curious than this. Musings like: ‘Where did I come from?’ ‘Why do people keep asking why I look different than my parents?’ ‘Why do people care?’ rolled around in my head. I was bombarded with questions from all different directions; from schoolmates to strangers on the street…’Which one of my parents had jungle fever?’ ‘What am I mixed with?’ ‘Who are my real parents?’ ‘Why don’t I act black?’ ‘How come I act so white?’

It seemed everyone had a different expectation for me and felt entitled to unsolicited inquiries about my personal life.

It is vexing. Luckily, my brilliant parents had the wisdom to enlighten me on my situation. They said, “People will recognize quickly that you are different. That you look different and that our family is different…and they will have questions. We are here to help you whenever they arise, but how you answer is up to you.” As a kindergarten student, I didn’t fully understand what they meant, but in time, these words have come to serve me well.

This is not a post about race, it’s a post about motivation through music.

What mom and dad were trying to convey to me is that I define myself. People throw shade at things they don’t understand, but I need not subscribe to the opinions of others. People will tell you aren’t ready or that its impossible, but what do they know? My values, dreams, accomplishments, and behavior determine my character and my path in life.

F*ck the haters. Don’t listen when people say “you can’t”. Do YOU. Don’t let your last name or your neighborhood limit your aspirations. Go make yourself, because you are the only one who can. Don’t let the fear of others stifle your dreams.

So how does this relate to my love for hip-hop music?

There are many recurring themes in hip-hop music; the strongest among them is that adversity is certain in life, BUT that we have the power within us to rise above.

Not every hip-hop song is about struggling through conflict or overcoming negativity, but many of them are. Some hip-hop artists are like field reporters that share up-to-the-minute details about life in various marginalized populations. Other artists relate through comedy, or stories from their past. In its early days, hip-hop music offered a glimpse into a life most Americans knew nothing about.

In addition to keeping it real, I think hip-hop music encourages us to make the very best of our situation.

We can pause where we are, not only to celebrate how far we have come, but also to refocus on our path forward. Hip hop music helps me realize that I am enough. I am a dynamic human, and while I may not be perfect, I have some damn fine qualities. It helps me to remember exactly where I came from and appreciate the effort I have invested in myself to get here, now. Most of all, it motivates me to keep pushing forward.

Regardless of who’s featured on the track, this message of self-reliance and staying true to yourself despite challenges and doubt can be applied to all areas of life. Whether it’s the soundtrack to your training plan, your party playlist, or your get-pumped-on-the-way-to-work song, everyone has “their jam”. You know, that song or album that makes you feel like you can take on the world. You love it! And I love it for you. Who doesn’t need to remember that they are, indeed, totally Grade-A, shiny, diamond badass?

At the end of the day, hip-hop music resonates with me because I am human and I struggle.

I want to be more resilient; maybe even poke a little fun at the lessons I have learned along my way. I can use a reminder that I’m not alone and it’s going to be alright. And that’s what hip-hop music does for me.

Here are some of my favorite lyrics from Chance the Rapper’s record “All We Got” from the Coloring Book album

Wish I could tell you it’s ready

Tell you it’s ready today

They don’t give nothing away

You gotta fight for your way

And that don’t take nothing away

Cause at the end of the day

Music all we got

Isn’t this all we got?

So we might as well give it all we got

Music all we got

running on hip-hop,

taking care

pace yourself

January 10, 2019October 12, 2022 The91Rewind

Pace yourself.

This new year is just underway, and the To-Do list is growing longer every minute.

We have proven we can accomplish many things, but we realize we cannot do them all at once.

As we tackle our epic goals for 2019, let’s not forget to pace ourselves.

xoxo,

C+E