Category: taking care

taking care

What exactly are we sorry for?

The91Rewind

Every. Single. Day.

We hear women and girls saying, “I’m sorry.”

We are tired of the apologies because they are UNNECESSARY.  It seems women feel the need to apologize when they have done NOTHING wrong. So What exactly are we sorry for?

Our very existence matters.

When we hear someone apologize for standing where someone is walking, it’s as if they are regretting that they exist at all. We can’t read minds or know to step out of the way exactly when someone needs to move past or around us. Everyone needs to breathe, to have water, to eat, and to occupy space. Existing and filling space is NOT something we have to apologize for.

We need connection.

There are moments in life where two or more people just need to communicate voice to voice. It may be easier, save time, or help drill down to a solution. It’s beneficial, yet we apologize for interrupting. “We are sorry to bother” or “sorry we had to call.” Rather than apologizing, perhaps we could greet one another warmly. We don’t always have the ability to schedule a conversation one week in advance with a calendar invite. A simple “hello” and “how are you” is a great icebreaker and can help smooth things over without making us feel small. There’s no need to apologize for interacting with another person—even it is spontaneous or unannounced.

We want to understand.

Sometimes we need feedback. We need to ask a question to get more information. We need an example or clarification to really understand what lies before us. There is this idea that we can only do our best if we have the right tools, yet we apologize for needing access to these tools of success. That doesn’t make sense! How many times have you heard a woman say “I hate to ask you this” or “I’m sorry if this seems like a stupid question” or “I’m sorry but I don’t understand…” It is a fact that asking questions leads to better comprehension that can resonate with all involved. Those willing to ask the questions are not only brave but highly motivated. When we are sorry for needing a better understanding of something, we are essentially apologizing for doing the job to the best of our ability. How silly is that?

We have value.

When we apologize for trivial things, it diminishes who we are as people. Most people that we interact with are not unilaterally irritated with us. They are not frustrated with our existence. But when we say we are sorry for small things, we invite that response. It’s like when someone tells you they have a stain on their shirt. You didn’t notice it, but now you can’t stop thinking about it. Enough is enough already. Stop apologizing. Just stop!


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Each and every one of us is an adorable badass.

We are unique and each of us brings something special to the table. Our womanhood unites us, but our individuality helps us shine. You are not fucking sorry for existing, so don’t apologize. Save your sorries for those moments when you make an actual blunder. One that may cause a problem for another person like forgetting to do something you promised you would do or arriving late to a meeting.

Value who you are, the space you occupy, your beautiful voice FIERCELY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY. Because you my friend, are AWESOME! We are people who have feelings, desire connection, and experience emotions. We take up space. Sometimes we need to ask questions and get more information. Being human is nothing to apologize for.

 

xoxo,

C+E

 

Living Well, taking care

Running on Hip-Hop

@happedancing

I love hip-hop music. Ever since I was young, the beats, clever lyrics, and artful storytelling has created a soundtrack for my life. Through the ups and downs, I have always been able to relate to the ongoing struggle conveyed through this genre, and at times, come to depend on it for motivation. My life, my movement, and my spirit are running on hip-hop.

My childhood came with a lot of questions…

I was a multi-racial (read: not white) kid adopted by a white family. Apparently nothing is more curious than this. Musings like: ‘Where did I come from?’ ‘Why do people keep asking why I look different than my parents?’ ‘Why do people care?’ rolled around in my head. I was bombarded with questions from all different directions; from schoolmates to strangers on the street…’Which one of my parents had jungle fever?’ ‘What am I mixed with?’ ‘Who are my real parents?’ ‘Why don’t I act black?’ ‘How come I act so white?’

It seemed everyone had a different expectation for me and felt entitled to unsolicited inquiries about my personal life.

It is vexing. Luckily, my brilliant parents had the wisdom to enlighten me on my situation. They said, “People will recognize quickly that you are different. That you look different and that our family is different…and they will have questions. We are here to help you whenever they arise, but how you answer is up to you.” As a kindergarten student, I didn’t fully understand what they meant, but in time, these words have come to serve me well.

This is not a post about race, it’s a post about motivation through music.

What mom and dad were trying to convey to me is that I define myself. People throw shade at things they don’t understand, but I need not subscribe to the opinions of others. People will tell you aren’t ready or that its impossible, but what do they know? My values, dreams, accomplishments, and behavior determine my character and my path in life.

F*ck the haters. Don’t listen when people say “you can’t”. Do YOU. Don’t let your last name or your neighborhood limit your aspirations. Go make yourself, because you are the only one who can. Don’t let the fear of others stifle your dreams.

So how does this relate to my love for hip-hop music?

There are many recurring themes in hip-hop music; the strongest among them is that adversity is certain in life, BUT that we have the power within us to rise above.

Not every hip-hop song is about struggling through conflict or overcoming negativity, but many of them are. Some hip-hop artists are like field reporters that share up-to-the-minute details about life in various marginalized populations. Other artists relate through comedy, or stories from their past. In its early days, hip-hop music offered a glimpse into a life most Americans knew nothing about.

In addition to keeping it real, I think hip-hop music encourages us to make the very best of our situation.

We can pause where we are, not only to celebrate how far we have come, but also to refocus on our path forward. Hip hop music helps me realize that I am enough. I am a dynamic human, and while I may not be perfect, I have some damn fine qualities. It helps me to remember exactly where I came from and appreciate the effort I have invested in myself to get here, now. Most of all, it motivates me to keep pushing forward.

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Regardless of who’s featured on the track, this message of self-reliance and staying true to yourself despite challenges and doubt can be applied to all areas of life. Whether it’s the soundtrack to your training plan, your party playlist, or your get-pumped-on-the-way-to-work song, everyone has “their jam”. You know, that song or album that makes you feel like you can take on the world. You love it! And I love it for you. Who doesn’t need to remember that they are, indeed, totally Grade-A, shiny, diamond badass?

At the end of the day, hip-hop music resonates with me because I am human and I struggle.

I want to be more resilient; maybe even poke a little fun at the lessons I have learned along my way. I can use a reminder that I’m not alone and it’s going to be alright. And that’s what hip-hop music does for me.

Here are some of my favorite lyrics from Chance the Rapper’s record “All We Got” from the Coloring Book album

Wish I could tell you it’s ready

Tell you it’s ready today

They don’t give nothing away

You gotta fight for your way

And that don’t take nothing away

Cause at the end of the day

Music all we got

Isn’t this all we got?

So we might as well give it all we got

Music all we got

running on hip-hop,

E

taking care

a long way to go

@happedancing

Maybe it’s because Santa is watching, maybe it’s because of all the cookies and alcohol go to our heads, or maybe there really is a surplus of cheer in the air…this time of year is different than the others. It feels different, depending on where you live it may even look different. For some reason, the holidays are viewed as the pinnacle of the winter season, but in reality, they are merely a kickoff party. Winter has just begun and there are almost three months of cold and darkness ahead. The dropping of the ball on New Year’s Eve is a symbolic start, but it’s still winter. And we have a long way to go.

I found myself reflecting on the winter solstice this year.

From a calendar standpoint, this is just a nod to a new season, but for me it is starting to mean a little more. It just so happened that I was teaching a yoga class, on the first day of winter, under an *almost* full moon. I may not have paid any attention to this, but some fellow teachers at the studio where I work were holding a special celebration of the solstice after my class. So, of course I had to be inquisitive and find out more about why the solstice needed celebrating.

The winter solstice is the 21st day of December and is the shortest day of the year. For those of us in the northern hemisphere, it is also the darkest day of the year. This year was kind of special in that there would be a full moon on the day after the solstice. This was an amazing stroke of luck in my opinion.Not only would the days get longer after December 21, but the moon would be full and bright and illuminate the darkness. It was as if the universe was challenging me to see things differently.


There is a tendency to treat winter like a new Christmas toy.

We love it out of the box, we are having so much fun until that shit gets real. Just as a toy would break, or need new batteries, or have pieces fall off, our sentiment about the winter does the same thing. It falls off. We party until the first of January, but soon we want to skip forward to spring break. We dislike the shorter days and having to wear multiple layers of clothing. We lament the money we spent over the holidays. We swear off every bad choice we made in the previous year and vow to redeem ourselves through a torrent of new year’s resolutions.

We want to leave the bad weather and bad habits and fast forward to the fun stuff. We are results oriented and we want to skip to the part where it’s done without having to go through the discomfort of not quite being there yet. Winter is the same way. We don’t enjoy being in it, we just want to be past it.

Sadly, the discomfort, the ickiness, the undesirable state of “going through” something is necessary.

In order to reach a new place, we will have to step away from where we are. We will have to spend a moment in transition. Winter is the same way…Unless someone has invented a time machine, we are going to have muddle through this winter time. Even though it’s dark and cold, and it seems we have such a long way to go.

So how does this relate to the winter solstice?

We’ve talked about choosing to be present before, and we can choose to be present here. In the middle of winter. When it’s dark and cold. Instead of lamenting an entire season, we can illuminate ourselves and lighten things up a bit. We can burn candles in our home. We can make a cup of tea or a pot of soup. We can gather with our loved ones and connect. We can even go outside in the evening and watch the days grow longer, one by one. Maybe, if we take the time, we can appreciate that slow but steady progression of the season.

The thing I’m learning about the winter time is this:

the light isn’t absent or missing, it just comes from the inside instead of the outside. WE have generate it, to charge it, nurture it. WE have to be the light. It sounds cheesy, but the holidays SHOULD be like a kick off party. We should try to keep the spark of kindness and generosity going throughout the season. We have to find it, that bright warmth, within ourselves and learn to shine in the darkness.

I would be remiss NOT to point out that this situation; this progress of inching forward at a glacial pace, is a bit of a microcosm for the world we live in. It seems that everywhere we turn we are raising awareness and building followings and embracing new opportunities, yet at times it feels like we are completely in the dark. There is still racism, sexism, bigotry and ignorance. The are coalitions and hashtags and foundations, but there is still pain. How can this be? How can things be changing all the time and yet, we still have such a long way to go?

It’s because like the seasons, things change gradually.

They don’t just go all at once like a switch. They creep, little by little. And we can creep too, right on into the world we imagine. Slowly but surely, plodding away at a glacial pace. The winter, like a lot of the bullshit in our lives, is happening, whether we like it or not. The best thing we can do is learn to be luminous. To cultivate light and warmth from our insides so that we can shine in the darkness.

Shine on my friends, and be the light!

Namaste,

E


taking care

protect our calendars, protect ourselves

Crystal Varner Parker

As we look ahead to a new year and manage the commitments on our holiday schedule, it is easy to get caught up and feel overwhelmed. We feel the need to be all things to all people. We fear being left out, so we say “yes” to every invitation despite all of the other “normal life” stuff we have to manage. We have hopes of saying no to some of the things, yet we choose not to protect our calendars. What if we chose to protect our calendar, and as a result protected ourselves?

Sounds Necessary, Right?

Protecting our calendars is incredibly important for our sanity. I recently had the privilege to speak at a couple of events on the topic of protecting our time. Some of those in attendance were already working to protect their calendar but didn’t know it. Others were desperate for guidance on how they could it. To me, it all comes down to understanding the word “Shabbat.”


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What is Shabbat?

It is derived from the Hebrew verb meaning to rest, cease, or stop. “Shabbat” is commonly associated with Jewish traditions, but at the most basic level, it is a verb. We all NEED Shabbat in our life. If we continue with all of our go-go-going, then we burn out. We get cranky, tired, overwhelmed, and have nothing (of worth) left to give to ourselves or others.

In extreme situations, chronic over-scheduling can lead to stress which over time can result in mental and physical illness. Even in a world that glorifies being “busy”, ain’t nobody got time for a nervous breakdown.

So, how do we Shabbat and protect our calendars?


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  1. We write out what a typical week or day looks like for us.

  2. We take a moment to notice the trends in our week or day.

  3. We adjust to find balance.

Shabbat teaches us that we cannot have obligations all the time. We have to find a balance between maintaining what we should do with what we would like to do. As we live into this, we will have to say no to things that jeopardize that balance. Sometimes we will say no to things that would bring us joy. Sometimes we will have to say yes to things we would prefer not to do (#adulting). In the grand scheme, our calendars will become less burdensome.

How does my calendar look?

It’s a work in progress, but my calendar has something on it almost every day of the week. In addition to taking care of my family, I work full-time and, have a side hustle. I also volunteer and stay involved in my church. Like most people, I enjoy spending time with friends as well. As I take time to assess the state of my calendar, I try to find a balance and leave room for Shabbat. I have to regularly remind myself that no one else is the boss of my calendar except me. I am the one who knows me best. I know when I am most productive (morning) and that I need to plan time to Shabbat so I don’t end up exhausted and blowing off something in an effort to catch up on rest. Being honest with myself about these truths will help me make better choices with my schedule.

I am not perfect at doing this, but I have a rule of thumb. At least one day of the weekend, I plan to not have plans. My husband and children and I so enjoy spending time with friends and loved ones on the weekends, but we know we need our downtime too. Last weekend, I had every intention of passing a leisurely Saturday, but a spontaneous family trip to the Illuminate Light Show with my mother-in-law sounded too good to pass up. Even though we had a delightful and relaxing Saturday, we still took a little extra Shabbat on Sunday because, why not?

I have found that it doesn’t have to be the same time or day every week, but the act of prioritizing Shabbat is our first step in achieving schedule equilibrium. By leaving ourselves room to “chill” or go with the flow, we protect our calendars from excessive commitments and our hearts and minds from burning out.  

Shabbat is..

Being real with ourselves: knowing and respecting how we work best, and finding balance without feeling guilty. Even if that balance means we say no to things once in a while.

It is up to each of us, individually, to decide how we spend our time.  I hope you are inspired to make Shabbat a regular focus of your week. We do not have to do everything, and more importantly, we can not physically handle a life full of obligations. As we prepare for a new year, let’s be a little more selective about what goes on the calendar. Let’s leave room for Shabbat and look forward to our most productive and restful year yet!

xoxo,
Crystal


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taking care

Just Ask

Crystal Varner Parker

How many times have you wondered if someone could do something you needed, but you didn’t ask out of fear? How many times have you needed help from someone, but you didn’t ask for worry it would inconvenience them? How many times have you skipped asking for what you needed, because it seemed unattainable? What if you would just ask and received the best possible answer?

Whenever we ask a question, there are two typical answers we can receive:

“yes” or “no”. I firmly believe that we skip asking what we perceive to be a tough question because we fear that the receiver of our inquiry will respond with “no.” Why is this such a big deal? We hold back, don’t get what we want or even need, all because someone MIGHT tell us “no.”

Over the last year, I’ve been a risk taker with asking for things.

Even when the request seems big, I ask it anyway. And do you know what’s happened? People say yes more often than they say no. And, when they have said no, things have managed not to fall apart. What did I lose by asking and being told no? Absolutely nothing. BUT, what happened when they said yes? I got exactly what I wanted and needed.


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What does it cost to ask?

Maybe it’s our pride. Maybe it takes courage. Maybe it’s Maybelline (JOKES!). Perhaps putting our own wants and needs first makes us feel a bit guilty. I have heard from friends and coworkers that they feel stressed and overwhelmed by all the appointments on their calendar. I’ve asked them if they have asked to move any of those appointments to better times for their schedules. And do you know what they say? No, not even once. They’ve even added that they can’t because of the position of leadership of the meeting organizer. But, I always push back and encourage them to ask anyway. Perhaps the meeting could move to another day of the week, or move to a better time in their schedule. I have had the courage to do this at work, on more than one occasion, and it’s turned out okay. On multiple occasions I’ve been able to move the meetings to a better time. On a couple occasions things couldn’t be changed. BUT, I’ve never lost my job for asking.

What do we gain by asking?

Lots of things like the courage to keep asking, continued growth from doing what we’ve been afraid to do, maybe we even get the help we need. Over the last year, Erica and I have been working hard to grow this little blog of ours. We hope to connect with new people and grow our community. In order to do this it requires us asking people to join us and be part of new things. Interviewing Kelli Lemon, Carrie Grace, and Abigail Spanberger didn’t happen by chance. It took asking, putting ourselves out there, and risking a “no” from them or their team. To this day, we keep asking and keeping striving to grow (in various ways).

What will you do the next time you have a question to ask?

I hope that you’ll just ask it anyway. I hope you’ll cast away your fear. I hope you’ll push yourself further ahead. And if you’re feeling nervous, remember to tell yourself that you’re an adorable badass! (P.S. we have #ADORABLEBADASS cards! If you need one, just drop us a line)

xoxo,

C


wall paper you can save and use on your phonewall paper you can save and use on your phone

wall paper you can save and use on your phone


wall paper you can save and use on your phonewall paper you can save and use on your phone

wall paper you can save and use on your phone

taking care

go with the flow

@happedancing

The last several weeks I haven’t felt like myself. I feel stuck in slow motion. Everything, from getting out of bed in the morning to deciding what I’m going to have for dinner, takes so much energy. I suspect it’s because I’m off my routine, which now that I think about it, I haven’t really had a routine in a couple of months. I like to think of myself as a whimsical and fun person, but the truth is I’m really not. I crave scheduling and checklists. I like to know exactly what I have to do and when I need to do it so I know exactly how much time I have in between. I can plan to be spontaneous, but it is hard for me to go with the flow.

I can set out for a run with no route, I can teach a movement class without a lesson plan, I can even strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, but I cannot just go with the flow. It drives me crazy to have “tentative” plans. I manage a lot of activities/hobbies/jobbies and my perception is that I’m far too busy to just “kick” it. This perception is precisely why I feel so listless after weeks of enjoying myself and earnestly trying to go with the flow.

Since September I’ve been out of town a lot, some for work and some for personal things. I’ve run a few races, I’ve visited with my friends. I’ve really had a lot of fun! I am an adult so that means I am in control of my own programming. I chose to make all these plans for myself and break my routine, so why do I feel so exhausted?

I had the great fortune of taking a yoga class with a dear friend

and gifted yoga instructor Cici recently. It was a “Yin” style class that included mostly passive stretching poses. I’ve never practiced this style before, but I knew it would be different than what I was used to. The objective of poses in a “Yin” sequence is to create sensations in the body; to stimulate relaxation by putting the muscles on a deep stretch.


Cici and Erica co-teaching an outdoor yoga classCici and Erica co-teaching an outdoor yoga class

Cici and Erica co-teaching an outdoor yoga class

What that means for a person like myself, (a compulsive mover who self-medicates with exercise and pot cookies), is that I am encouraged to slow down. To get the full experience of each pose, Cici instructed us to go to 60% of our max and that let our breath carry us the rest of the way. That probably sounds kooky, but it resonated with me. As I entered each pose, I was careful to leave some “room”; by the last few breaths I moved deeper in some of these stretches than ever before.

It was a pretty amazing experience. I didn’t do much other than choose to be present in the moment. I noticed the subtle changes with each breath, took inventory of how I was feeling, and when it felt good, I let myself go a little further. With Cici’s calm energy guiding me, I was totally “getting it”, and feeling so proud of myself for this awareness and intention. And then, she shared a quote with us, “Going with the flow is choosing to yield to life’s changes instead of fighting against them…”   

Suddenly, it hit me: I have been doing a lot of fighting against the ways and whims of the universe.

By trying to have a routine and add in all sorts of other things, I confused “going with the flow” with “being on the go”. I’m finding these are remarkably different philosophies. “Being on the go” means that I’m bogged down with obligations; doing one thing, but already thinking about the next, or worse lamenting something that didn’t go well earlier. When we live like this, we aren’t fully participating in life. We miss the present.


spontaneous handstands during a run in downtown Atlanta, GAspontaneous handstands during a run in downtown Atlanta, GA

spontaneous handstands during a run in downtown Atlanta, GA

Truly going with the flow doesn’t mean you say yes to every single activity.

It does not mean that you plow through life at recklessly high speeds leaving little time for rest or recuperation. Going with the flow means living one day at a time, remembering that today is new and different than yesterday, and appreciating that tomorrow will be new and different all over again. Going with the flow is deciding to take a walk instead of going to the gym because the weather is nice. Going with the flow is seeing an old friend at Target and making plans to get together THAT MINUTE instead of saying you will text them sometime.

If I take a step back, the dissolution of my routine did not result in a universal catastrophe.

I was not careless with my time or dismissive of my responsibilities. In fact, I planned all of this craziness months in advance. I had a sneaking suspicion it would leave me feeling overwhelmed, yet I did it anyway (tips on making better choices to come in a future post…maybe.)

I’m sure this won’t be the last time I over-commit, overextend, and overwhelm myself, but now I have a little more clarity when it happens. I can accept that I can’t have my routine and disrupt it at the same time. I can accept that there are only 24 hours in a day; that once they pass they are gone forever. I can choose to be present, to own my time and how I choose to spend it, WITHOUT FEELING REGRET!

There will be times where the routine falls off, where we must choose between what we *believe* should do and what we want to do.

In those times, we will do well to remember the choice is ours to make how WE SEE FIT. If we only focus on deficiencies, on what we could be doing instead of what we are doing, we miss the present. When we allow ourselves to get excited about what lies before us , even the little stuff, everything changes. After all, being present is a choice.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Bill Keane (or more importantly from Kung Fu Panda 3):

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, which is why they call it the present.”

If you guys have not had a chance to flow with Cici at 110 Yoga, take her class. It’s a real treat!

Namaste,

E


sea animals are experts at going with the flowsea animals are experts at going with the flow

sea animals are experts at going with the flow


taking care

thankful, grateful, restful

The91Rewind

As we approach the holiday season, things get hectic. We are rushing here, there, and everywhere. We feel compelled to attend all gatherings, see everyone, and not miss anything. It’s a tall order to fill and leaves many feeling anxious…How will it ever come together? Today we have an idea to help you enjoy the season without feeling depleted. Rather than try to do it all, maybe we can slow down and allow ourselves to feel thankful, grateful and restful.

We are taking time off to enjoy our families.

It will be a challenge to get as much time as we would like with our loved ones; my brother and Erica’s dad both work in retail, which means after the Thanksgiving table is cleared, it’s time for these men to go back to work. Many of us are aware that retail stores do not take any breaks this time of year. For so many retailers, the holiday season as their last big sales push to end the fiscal year on a positive note. (They don’t call it #BlackFriday for nothing!) With that in mind, we invite you to share in our show of support for the retail industry by NOT SHOPPING ON THANKSGIVING! Last we checked, Thanksgiving was about gathering with those you love to celebrate gratefulness, not getting a “sweet deal”.

We all deserve a rest.

When we do finally have a break in our regularly scheduled lives, we are quick to fill the space with activities; maybe things we have put off, maybe things we are excited about, maybe obligatory things…we see our days off not as a restful break, but a chance to make up for lost productivity. We constantly overextend ourselves. You are entitled to a break every now and then. Maybe this will be the year that you leave your day off open like “free space” on a bingo card.

Choose to be present.

Even if the time we have with our “people” is short, we can make it count. We vow to unplug, we choose to be present, we desire to create a holiday that is as restorative as it is enjoyable. We hope you’ll do the same, so we can all be as thankful, grateful, and restful as possible.

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taking care

run like a girl

@happedancing

When I was a kid, I used to get upset when my childhood friends (mostly boys) said I ran like a girl or threw like a girl or really reminded me that I was a girl at all. I was vastly outnumbered in my neighborhood, and while the boys were nice to let me hang once in a while, there were times when I really wished I had more girls around. Luckily in these times, I had my bestie Crystal to commiserate with. She has a brother and boy cousins and felt my pain of being the odd woman out. Fast forward some years later, and I’m finding myself surrounded by more powerful adventurous athletic women than I can count. They are my adventure crew, my ride or dies, my bucket list babes.  We do let the boys hang once in a while, but most of the time we like to feel our power. And now, I can proudly say that hell yeah, I do run like a girl.

Speaking of running like a girl…

check out some of these fun facts (and the articles to back them up) from the past couple of years to see just how far women have come in the running game:


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As this fall race season is in full swing, chances are high

that you know a woman who’s racing towards a goal. It may be her first 5k, it may be her 101st marathon, but either way, take a moment to give your girl a high five. It doesn’t matter what distance, which race, or if you’re racing at all, going for a run is an amazingly gratifying experience. If you want to feel YOUR power, just strike out on your two legs…see how far you can go!

namaste and safe travels,

E


remember when you hit the streets…#wegonshineremember when you hit the streets…#wegonshine

remember when you hit the streets…#wegonshine


taking care

9 Steps to Being a Good Human

Crystal Varner Parker


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We are in a time where many people are speaking up about the injustice they see in the world. About what they don’t like in politics. About how they think things should be done. With all this speaking out, some people don’t like what they are hearing. When someone doesn’t like what they’re hearing, they might get upset. They may want to jump straight to the name calling and/or proving that someone wrong. Most of us know this seldom helps, yet we do it anyway. So what are we to do? How do we have our opinions and beliefs without being ranting and  raving. How can we peacefully disagree? I believe, that in order to get through these divisive times, we each need to follow 9 steps to being a good human.

Whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, or don’t identify with a political party…

we can recognize that we don’t always see eye to eye on things happening around us. Some of us are passionate about getting certain people into elected or appointed to various public offices. Some of us are determined to see our systems become equitable across genders and races. Some of us want to see that our reproductive rights remain protected. Some of us want to ensure that our right to bear arms is not infringed upon. Some of us are determined to be part of the solution. Some of us are apathetic. Some of us are determined to win at all costs. BUT, name calling, screaming, and yelling are not productive tools because they discourage understanding and collective progress.

So what is productive? What will help us get through this?

The answer is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

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9 Steps to Being a Good Human:

Step 1. Love creates a desire for understanding.
Step 2. Joy is most certainly better than sadness.
Step 3. Peace is the goal of turmoil and war.
Step 4. Forebeance is needed amidst all the Internet fighting.
Step 5. Kindness is best enjoyed when shared  (*ahem* #sharingkindnesschallenge).
Step 6. Goodness is in each of us (even in those people who drive us the craziest).
Step 7. Faithfulness reminds us that there is goodness in all.
Step 8. Gentleness helps us to soften and smile.
Step 9. Self-control helps us listen before speaking.

Perhaps you’ll call me a Pollyanna.
Maybe you’ll say that I’m wearing rose colored glasses.
I’d like to say I see the world as a glass half full and all of which is full of potential.

It may not be easy to lean into these things each day…

but it is far better than the alternative. We’ve seen the results in recent weeks of our awful behavior. A mass shooting at a synagogue on Saturday during Shabbat services. Explosive devices were sent to MANY people (a former president, a former secretary of state, a news station, and a  philanthropist to name a few). We don’t have to agree with someone to know that attempting to blow up people or that killing peope is wrong. Ideologies aside, let’s try to be kind human beings together making our world (and internet) a better place for us ALL. No matter how you may vote on November 6th, what you may think about our president (past, present, or future), your crazy aunt’s posts on Facebook, or the gender identity of a classmate, it’s important to be a kind human being. Let’s do better y’all, I believe in us.

Xoxo,

C


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